Yes...you read that right. Just the fact that I was BF'ing at the right time, right place, etc.
In January of this year my dad was diagnosed with stage 4, terminal, lung cancer. His prognosis was not good. From then his decline was steady. People who didn't see him often noticed his decline. Those of us around him daily didn't notice it much. In May we found out the cancer had spread to his spine, bones, and his brain.
On Sunday, July 2nd, my mom called me in the morning. She said dad had taken a terrible turn for the worse overnight. I asked her if she needed me there and she said she had called the hospice nurse to come that day and would call me later.
She called me around 5 pm, sobbing, she was so distraught. I went right over with all 3 kids and spent the night.
Here's a brief synopsis of the week:
Monday: DH was off but had started some household projects he had to finish, mom had to go work for a few hours. I stayed home with dad who up with his walker and/or wheelchair. DH and I took the kids to fireworks Monday night while my aunt stayed with my mom. After fireworks the kids and I went back. The kids slept together in the guest room with the big bed, while I slept in the baby in another bedroom where she has a twin bed and a crib.
Tuesday: DH still off work - went to the airport to pick up my dad's best friend from CA who was coming to help with things. Since my dad's best friend was there to help I came home with the kids.
Wednesday - went back to my mom's house early AM. Dad really declined over night. Can't get up and walk at all. Difficulty moving him to his wheelchair. Hospital bed brought in - set up in family room. Since Dad's best friend is there in guest room, mom is in her room, I sleep in twin bed, baby in crib and two kids in sleeping bags on floor between me and crib...crazy!
Thursday - my sister arrives from CA to help with dad. Dad doing really bad. Hospice nurse says 1-2 days max. My sister also brings her life-partner to help out. Mom gets a good nights sleep on couch in living room since she doesn't want to be far from dad. Sister's L-P sleeps in parents room, best friend still in guest room, all 3 kids in other room. Me and sis stay up all night with dad so mom can sleep. Oh, Thursday my dad knew me, said my name and requested ice cream. I got to feed him - it would end up being his last meal.
Friday - dad totally unresponsive. Says a few things that make sense, and a few that don't tried to mumble a few times and when mom leaned over to hear him better he'd kiss her cheek. We're giving him liquid morphine every 3 hours but he can't swallow pills anymore, can't drink water, etc. Friday night sisters L-P stayed up with dad all night giving me, mom and sis all a good night's sleep. (Bless her!!)
Saturday - even more unresponsive than Friday, eyes glazed over. Mom decided bedside vigils are over. We check on him often, but we cannot sit around watching him breath. We try to keep someone in there at all times (shifts), but mom decides it's too much and doesn't freak out if dad is alone for 5-10 minutes.
Then the most beautiful thing happened! I cannot believe it still!!!
On Friday night my in-laws came to help with the older two kids. Since the baby is still nursing, she stays with me. On Saturday night my in-laws brought dinner to my mom's house. After dinner, DH, in-laws and the two older kids left to go home.
So, me & baby, mom, my aunt (mom's sis), my sis, sis's life-partner are all out in the sun room chatting. My dad's best friend was sitting at the kitchen table watching t.v. and my dad was alone in his hospital bed in the family room. It was around 9 pm. I had the baby's pajamas on and she was getting cranky so I decided to nurse her. Well, with everyone talking in the sun room, she wasn't settling down and I knew dad was alone so I decided to go sit in the rocking chair next to his bed and rock her quietly.
No sooner had a sat down to nurse, she settled right down and drifted off, I noticed my dad's breathing change. He was gasping for breath, but his chest wasn't rising. I called everyone on the household intercom and had them come in.
My aunt took the baby and put her back in her crib and we all gathered around and we were there as my dad took his last breath at 9:20 p.m. on Saturday, July 8th.
What a surreal moment being there for a few minutes alone nurturing new life and watching another life go. I was sobbing.
The memorial service is this Monday the 17th. We had to give other family members time to travel from various parts of the country.
If I hadn't decided to nurse her in there, dad would have died alone. I cannot believe it.
Oh, and so much for milk drying up under stressful situations!
In January of this year my dad was diagnosed with stage 4, terminal, lung cancer. His prognosis was not good. From then his decline was steady. People who didn't see him often noticed his decline. Those of us around him daily didn't notice it much. In May we found out the cancer had spread to his spine, bones, and his brain.
On Sunday, July 2nd, my mom called me in the morning. She said dad had taken a terrible turn for the worse overnight. I asked her if she needed me there and she said she had called the hospice nurse to come that day and would call me later.
She called me around 5 pm, sobbing, she was so distraught. I went right over with all 3 kids and spent the night.
Here's a brief synopsis of the week:
Monday: DH was off but had started some household projects he had to finish, mom had to go work for a few hours. I stayed home with dad who up with his walker and/or wheelchair. DH and I took the kids to fireworks Monday night while my aunt stayed with my mom. After fireworks the kids and I went back. The kids slept together in the guest room with the big bed, while I slept in the baby in another bedroom where she has a twin bed and a crib.
Tuesday: DH still off work - went to the airport to pick up my dad's best friend from CA who was coming to help with things. Since my dad's best friend was there to help I came home with the kids.
Wednesday - went back to my mom's house early AM. Dad really declined over night. Can't get up and walk at all. Difficulty moving him to his wheelchair. Hospital bed brought in - set up in family room. Since Dad's best friend is there in guest room, mom is in her room, I sleep in twin bed, baby in crib and two kids in sleeping bags on floor between me and crib...crazy!
Thursday - my sister arrives from CA to help with dad. Dad doing really bad. Hospice nurse says 1-2 days max. My sister also brings her life-partner to help out. Mom gets a good nights sleep on couch in living room since she doesn't want to be far from dad. Sister's L-P sleeps in parents room, best friend still in guest room, all 3 kids in other room. Me and sis stay up all night with dad so mom can sleep. Oh, Thursday my dad knew me, said my name and requested ice cream. I got to feed him - it would end up being his last meal.
Friday - dad totally unresponsive. Says a few things that make sense, and a few that don't tried to mumble a few times and when mom leaned over to hear him better he'd kiss her cheek. We're giving him liquid morphine every 3 hours but he can't swallow pills anymore, can't drink water, etc. Friday night sisters L-P stayed up with dad all night giving me, mom and sis all a good night's sleep. (Bless her!!)
Saturday - even more unresponsive than Friday, eyes glazed over. Mom decided bedside vigils are over. We check on him often, but we cannot sit around watching him breath. We try to keep someone in there at all times (shifts), but mom decides it's too much and doesn't freak out if dad is alone for 5-10 minutes.
Then the most beautiful thing happened! I cannot believe it still!!!
On Friday night my in-laws came to help with the older two kids. Since the baby is still nursing, she stays with me. On Saturday night my in-laws brought dinner to my mom's house. After dinner, DH, in-laws and the two older kids left to go home.
So, me & baby, mom, my aunt (mom's sis), my sis, sis's life-partner are all out in the sun room chatting. My dad's best friend was sitting at the kitchen table watching t.v. and my dad was alone in his hospital bed in the family room. It was around 9 pm. I had the baby's pajamas on and she was getting cranky so I decided to nurse her. Well, with everyone talking in the sun room, she wasn't settling down and I knew dad was alone so I decided to go sit in the rocking chair next to his bed and rock her quietly.
No sooner had a sat down to nurse, she settled right down and drifted off, I noticed my dad's breathing change. He was gasping for breath, but his chest wasn't rising. I called everyone on the household intercom and had them come in.
My aunt took the baby and put her back in her crib and we all gathered around and we were there as my dad took his last breath at 9:20 p.m. on Saturday, July 8th.
What a surreal moment being there for a few minutes alone nurturing new life and watching another life go. I was sobbing.
The memorial service is this Monday the 17th. We had to give other family members time to travel from various parts of the country.
If I hadn't decided to nurse her in there, dad would have died alone. I cannot believe it.
Oh, and so much for milk drying up under stressful situations!
What an amazing and powerful moment.
