Nursing in a bathroom stall

[Heffernhyphen]

Today I was having lunch at a popular kids' hangout and very much enjoyed the company of the mom at the next table. We chatted for over an hour as our kids played. During the course of this time, my 3-yr-old DS came over for a quick swig, which I happily and naturally obliged right there at the table.

Fast forward an hour to when friendly neighbor mom happens to end up in the bathroom at the same time as us. As she headed to a stall with her 3-month-old in her arms, she cheerfully explained that she was going in there to nurse.

"Oh, noooo," I said as sympathetically as I could muster. "You don't want to feed him in there."

She just smiled and said she doesn't like to do it where she might offend anyone. (Like I just had?)

So I continued with, "But the more we do it in public, the more they get used to seeing it."

I guess to each her own, but I wish I could have successfully encouraged her not to hide such a beautiful thing. Would you have said anything to her?

[BelgianSheepDog]

I put "other" because I would have encouraged her to sit somewhere more comfortable, if I knew of one nearby and offhand. Whether it was public or private would be secondary to it at least being nicer to sit in than a stinky little stall.

[Meiri]

It would depend upon the situation. I did talk about this with my sister. I was using the stall for its intended purpose; she had her toddler son in with her-not for a potty lesson.

I left it "at as long as it's your decision, because I'd back you up against anyone telling you you have to leave a room or feed him in the loo."

A stranger, I don't know. It'd depend on the situation and if conversation happened.

[Scrubsjm]

Some friends and I ran into this situation about a year ago, we were a bunch of AP moms out to dinner without the kids and happened to notice another mom nursing in the bathroom stall. It ended up with many of the moms in our group heading into the bathroom to encourage her to NIP, turns out it was her MIL demanding that she go in there to nurse because MIL wasn't comfortable with her nursing at the table. Dunno if it made much of a difference but at least we tried to give her support. I figure that's all you can do it try and give support and beyond that it's up to them.

[GalateaDunkel]

It would depend on the situation. I'm just not sure.

One good strategy might be to tell her about the NIP law if your state has one, so it's more about reassuring her of her rights, rather than trying to push your own view of the propriety of NIP.

You might also simply state why *you* choose not to hide out..in a food for thought way... so it's not all about the choice she's making just that minute. It seems kind of unlikely that the kind of mom who feels driven to hide in the bathroom would do an automatic 180 right after being put on the spot about it by a stranger.

[frenchie]

I put "No, People make their own decisions". If the nursing mom made conversation with me, I might be more inlcined to say something.

[True Blue]

I put that I'd encourage her, but I'd respect her decision. I would mention though that bathrooms are dirty! ick. I don't want to pee in there let alone eat in there!

[~Megan~]

I'd want to encourage her to nurse in public for her own comfort but if she was really modest and didn't want to I'd certainly not push it.

[kalisis]

I agree with mamao'two - if it's her choice, well, then...

Although it's hard to know what we really choose or what our societal conditioning is choosing for us, y/k?

[Beeblebrox]

I would encourage her to nurse in public. There are a lot of things that people find offensive. I think I read this on ProMom, but the example they used was something along the lines of, "I find people chewing with their mouths open offensive and gross. Can I go over to some strangers table and demand they eat elsewhere?"

I'll find the link.

[shayinme]

Originally Posted by mamao'two

I'd want to encourage her to nurse in public for her own comfort but if she was really modest and didn't want to I'd certainly not push it.

: I think its also important not to assume that everyone woman who nurses in the bathroom is there because of any negative feelings/thoughts. A few mos ago my dd was in a highly distractable mood and I took her in the bathroom at a restaurant to nurse. Now I wasn't in the stall but just out by the sink and mirror, NIP wasn't an issue it was about getting mu dd to eat. KWIM?

Shay

[jessjgh1]

I think you handled it beautifully. Maybe she will become more comfortable as she gets used to it.

There were times when I choose to nurse in a bathroom-- one that was clean and had a place to sit other than a stall-- for example once when th]e restaurant was just to loud and my ds wouldnt' settle to nurse.

Jessica

[2Sweeties1Angel]

I voted no, choose for herself. Some women just like to nurse in private and sometimes a bathroom stall is the only way that's going to happen. When you have low milk supply and/or a distractable baby, sometimes that's the only way to get a good feed in, KWIM? I guess if you've never had those problems you wouldn't understand.

[Beeblebrox]

Originally Posted by 2Sweeties1Angel

I voted no, choose for herself. Some women just like to nurse in private and sometimes a bathroom stall is the only way that's going to happen. When you have low milk supply and/or a distractable baby, sometimes that's the only way to get a good feed in, KWIM? I guess if you've never had those problems you wouldn't understand.

I think, though, that encouraging someone to nurse in public doesn't have to be a demand, kwim? More like, "oh hey, don't mind me. Go right ahead and nurse here if you'd like". If they say that their baby is distractable or whatever, then carry on. But I don't think it would hurt to give them a bit of mama support.

I remember reading on here about several moms who felt empowered during the nurse-in of VS because they knew other moms were out their nursing too. I think some times some moms just need to be told it's okay.

One last thing I wanted to add was that I know what it's like to have a distracted nurser. That's actually why I asked the VS employee, while I was shopping, if I could use the dressing room. I figured it would give my DD a chance to relax for a moment and focus. Some moms, don't feel that way though. They have families that tell them it's disgusting, etc. So, long story short, I don't think encourgement can hurt.