People telling me I can't do it

[mfp02]

:

The basics: I am going to be a surrogate for good friends of mine. We begin cycling next month. I am very optimistic that we will be pg within the first few cycles of trying (hopefully the first!). After I am done with the pg, I am going to be pumping and donating my milk (see links in sig). The parents of the (future!) baby are going to induce lactation on the mother. But the shipping costs for my milk would just be too much ($175/week).

Anyway - I was talking to a couple of acquaintances. One gal began telling me how I can't be excited about doing this yet. That I don't know how my body will react to the pump, it's not as good as an actual baby latched on, etc. I know all of this. I pumped for all of my babies (for two exclusively, due to problems). I have faith my body will do fine w/ the pump once again. And now, I have many resources in case I need help, where as before I was in the dark in figuring things out - like increasing my supply.

It's just so frustrating to hear people say, "I'm not trying to discourage you but.." and then rattle off reasons this probably won't work. And then so many are astonished that the organization cannot pay for the pump, bags, etc. They pay shipping, which is enough for me. I can sell the pump after I am done, so I am not upset about that. A couple of other friends told me to just donate to milk banks in the US, because they pay for everything. I know that, but they also charge parents $3 an OUNCE, which is a rip off IMO.

I just had to vent. I know not to listen to these people. I am not letting them get me down about this. But I wish people were just encouraging. I understand bringing up what may or may not happen, but don't be so darn negative! :

[alegna]

Originally Posted by mfp02

A couple of other friends told me to just donate to milk banks in the US, because they pay for everything. I know that, but they also charge parents $3 an OUNCE, which is a rip off IMO.

I think it's WONDERFUL what you're going to do and don't let them get you down.

I would like to say though that the milkbanks charging $3 an oz are not making any money off of it. Those milkbanks are non-profits and provide milk for many children who wouldn't get it otherwise.

-Angela

[mamacatsbaby]

nak

you're so right not to let people get you down mama. folks sure have a way of don't they?

[mfp02]

Originally Posted by alegna

I would like to say though that the milkbanks charging $3 an oz are not making any money off of it. Those milkbanks are non-profits and provide milk for many children who wouldn't get it otherwise.

I thought so as well, until I really got into researching some of them. What I found, between the income vs. what went out was disturbing. :

[alegna]

Originally Posted by mfp02

I thought so as well, until I really got into researching some of them. What I found, between the income vs. what went out was disturbing. :

A lot of that may be due to letting mamas take years and years to pay the $$ back and not charging full price if they can't pay it. From what I've heard they're very willing to work with parents who need it for their children. PM me if you'd like to talk to someone who uses donor milk and has only wonderful things to say about the milk banks- I have a friend.

-Angela

[rileysmommy]

YES. you can do this, and its SO fabulous. don't let anyone discourage you!

as far as the national milk banks.
its deos cost money to recieve the milk, process it, screen the women donating, and ship it out.
3$ an ounce or 10$ an ounce, milk banks are not getting rich off of the goodness of others.
of course people there are salaried, as they are anywhere. we can't expect folks to live in their cars and eat in soup kitchens because they work for a non for profit agency.
it is unfortunate that breast milk is so expensive, but i truly believe in the reasons behind it.
i also wish that more woemn had access to it, that needed it.
far as i am concerned every major hospital should have a milk bank.
it shouldn't be so few and far between.
and most banks that i wam aware of, are also very willing to work with moms who have insurance money that runs out, int he end i do belive their claim is " if the baby needs the milk, the baby will get the milk!"
so if that doesn't change how people feel about the charges, not much will.

so yeah, i agree with what alegna states.
milk banking is something pretty dear to my heart.
and i don't like to see it being bashed.

( gosh i just realized i am typing with some very passionate 38 week pregnancy vigor, so DO NOT take me the wrong way at all, okay? hormones, ya know?)

so momma! i say great for you! i hope all is successful, and what a wonderful precious gift you are giving to a family.
and by donating your milk, you are just passing on the goodness. its a very selfless act. and i say for mommas and babies everywhere.. THANK YOU! for what you are doing!

[mfp02]

Thank you both! I understand it costs $ to run milk banks, I really do. And I don't expect people to work for nothing. I know running them must take a LOT of time, and obviously many do this for their full time jobs. They can't work for free and survive!

Anyway, iThemba Lethu takes up to a certain amt usually. And they're shipping can be here and there it sounds like. I've found two Mama's in the states that will take my milk for their babies (one is adopting and no baby yet, one has a preemie just born recently). I imagine I will have excess, so I will happily donate to them directly as well.

[Arwyn]

Can I just say you rock?

[ollineeba]

Originally Posted by Arwyn

Can I just say you rock?