Okay, couldn't help myself- I have a few questions
Hope you don't mind!
I'll repeat this much from my last post
DH & I are Athiests. We have a soon-to-be 2yo DD and another DD due next month.
-First.. DHs family (I have no blood relatives, step father & family are non-religious). Anyhow, DH's family, which is pretty much the only family we deal with, are very religious, though it varies from person to person. We all (well, the lot of us) live in one household. We live in the basement apartment-for now. On top of us, is DHs mom, dad, sister, and uncle. On top of THAT, is DHs grandma and grandpa, and on top of THEM is DHs cousin, his wife, and three kids.
There are often times where I have to leave DD with DHs family. I have to try and work around these things because they go to church often and if DD is with them, she goes with. I really don't want her in church. When she was a baby, I didn't mind- she kind of thought the music was a rock fest and would just dance happily the entire time. Now that she's older and is more aware of things, I don't want her there.
DHs cousins live upstairs. DH's cousin's wife's parents are VERY religious. When they come to a party, they feel the need to bless every single person before they leave the party. I suffer major anxiety and hate the fact that I run for the hills with my DD when they leave to avoid a "dios te bendiga" uttered at her.
ALSO at the parties.. I need some good advice on this part ...they always pray before a meal. Even if it is just cutting open a watermelon at a barbeque. I also feel the need to run for the hills. I usually don't notice until they've already started praying and I get shushed by someone.. BUT- I really don't want my DD present.
As you may have guessed, it is kind of hard to avoid these situations with us being all in one large household, though we are separate. So, regarding this, Is there a way to respectfully not take part in these situations?
. Them thanking god before a meal is a 5 minute ordeal on average- I don't feel that I'd be able to just bite the bullet, and I don't want DD in that situation.
-SECOND.. DD isn't baptized, and we don't plan on it. Our family doesn't know this. DHs family is Mexican, I am half Mexican and half White (I have Irish heritage, but other than that, I don't know much as my single white mom raised me as a person and didn't push me towards anything. she taught me alot about many cultures). In the Mexican tradition, or at least this is what Ive gathered from my husband's family, a child has a big birthday party when they are 3 years old. Something also happens at church- a presentation or something? Whatever it is, DHs uncle has announced that her birthday would be in a fancy banquet hall and that HE WILL be the godfather. So they're pushing us to baptize her. how would you deal with this?
-THIRD.. DH & I were married at city hall. We didn't want a wedding. Not for us... besides the religious aspects. NOW, DH's parents are pushing ME to get baptized and pushing DH to finish his religious schooling (confirmation, I guess?) so that we can get married in a church because otherwise we're living in sin. She also is planning on this because she too was married at city hall and is living "in sin". how can we tell her that we really don't care and don't plan on it, in a NICE way?
I just feel so trapped in this family. There is always some church thing going on- a baptism, a presentation, a first communion.. something. My DH works on Sundays and I'm alone with DD. I always get pressured into going, although I manage to avoid it most days. The religious aspect of things is scary- and I really want to pull DD away from it. For example, DHs grandma was furious and sad because a nephew of hers got a haircut before he got baptized. She flat out said that he was going to hell- a baby. I don't want DD exposed to this- I personally feel that some of their takes on things aren't for us. I just really don't know what to do. Any kind words would be awesome