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atheist/agnostic tribe - Page 34

post #661 of 698

I'm subbed & have read through the whole thread.  Not sure why I haven't posted.

 

Anyway, I'm definitely agnostic w/ atheist leanings & DH is atheist.  WE have three children & I know the oldest is an atheist, the 2nd probably is too & the third is three so I haven't asked him & we haven't discussed it much.

 

I wish this thread was more active.

 

One day when I sneezed, DH said, "whatever!"  It was pretty funny.  I want to say that too but it doesn't sound right in my head.  I still say "blesh you," about half the time.  The other half I say nothing.

 

We don't do religious holidays.  And, late last year I learned through following Neil DeGrasse Tyson on twitter that "holiday," comes from "holy day."  Makes me want a new name for it but haven't hit the thesaurus yet about it.  Have a hard time saying it now, lol.

 

Okay, that's all for now.  I remembered why I haven't posted yet - not much time for posting. greensad.gif

 

Thanks for the thread.

Sus

post #662 of 698
I didn't realize there was an atheist "tribe"! I'm happy to find it smile.gif hopefully we can get it active again. I count myself extremely fortunate to live in a liberal, far-outside-the-bible-belt place now, but most of my life I've lived in some churchy churchy places. I know what it's like to try to stay true to yourself while not being alienated from your community. I grew up Catholic but consider myself to have left it after I was Confirmed, as a teen. Went through the ceremony but that was the last time I was an active participant in a church service. As of now everyone else in my family are atheists, too. My DH is agnostic, sort of "spiritual but not religious". DS is a heathen .almost 2yr old smile.gif we have books from and about many religions around the house, right along with all the science and fiction (and science fiction) that he can check out when he wants. It's funny this thread should pop up today, because I had a highly unusual religious visit to my door that woke up napping DS (GRRR).

We totally do the mainstream holidays, though! We treat them more as seasonal markers than anything. They are fun ways to mark the yearly cycle and we are not yet at the point where DS wonders about the backstory. I agree with the previous poster about _needing_ Christmas to get past the suckiest part of winter, especially!

Nice to meet you all smile.gif
post #663 of 698

That's really interesting about holidays=holy days.

 

We had a funny event happen at Easter. For the past 2 years we did an Easter egg hunt at my ILs house, they are Christian. This year I was working and MIL called and she was like "when are yall coming over?" and I thought... huh... that's kind of "insistent" (we have a good relationship don't get me wrong) and she kept talking about it and finally I was like "What is going on that we need to come over for?" and she said "well Easter of course!!" and I was like... "That's what happens when you're a heathen!!"
 

post #664 of 698
I haven't had the best experiences with religious family lately. Hopefully we can get this thread going some so I can have some interaction with rational people.
post #665 of 698

I'd be happy to join in. I haven't read the older stuff.

I was raised atheist, it's pretty common in Belgium (where I'm from), and I still observe some of the catholic holidays (which is also a common practice for atheists in Belgium). I was lucky to find a DH who is sort of "eh" about religion, probably would label himself an agnostic.

We've already had the "religion" talk regarding the future kid and it was very short, we both agreed that religion doesn't have to play any role in our kid's life, i.e. doesn't need to be baptized, go to Sunday school etc.

Sometimes I do feel like I missed out, not having learned the bible stories since they are useful parables.

I find it interesting that in the US being an atheist is almost considered a worse offense than being gay and you really do sort of have to come out of the closet as a non-believer.

I look forward to some stimulating discussion with you all.

post #666 of 698
Quote:
Originally Posted by dakipode View Post
I find it interesting that in the US being an atheist is almost considered a worse offense than being gay and you really do sort of have to come out of the closet as a non-believer.

 

This is SOO true!!!!

post #667 of 698
OK so i have a question for everyone. How do you deal with extended family members constantly telling your children stuff like "Jesus loves you", "God made you", or "look at all the pretty flowers god made"?
post #668 of 698
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerusha070707 View Post

OK so i have a question for everyone. How do you deal with extended family members constantly telling your children stuff like "Jesus loves you", "God made you", or "look at all the pretty flowers god made"?


You see less of those relatives! Not kidding.
post #669 of 698

I can't be of much help here because it doesn't really happen to me. On my side of the family everyone is atheist and the in-laws are out of state and not very religion oriented either.

Usually when someone makes a comment to me about being blessed or crediting god for whatever reason I either let it go and agree with them or I try to point out how the person had some responsibility in that situation as well and deserves some credit. It sort of depends on who I'm talking to and the vibe I get about the depth of their faith.

I intend to raise my kid with an understanding that other people believe in god and that's not wrong just different and that he can respectfully disagree or just let it go and not comment. And maybe make it clear that if he doesn't want to confront the person in question he is always welcome to ask me about it (I imagine a situation like a death where people say that person went to heaven. I wouldn't want my kid to argue with them about that but I would want him to come ask me about it)

post #670 of 698
My extended family in particular is very religious. There are 5 pastors on my moms side alone. My father is also a pastor. I will be spending the weekend with them. It will be the first time ill be seeing most my family after my recent "coming out".
I don't imagine it going well. Was just looking for others opinions on how to deal with things being said to my kids (3 1/2 yr old twins and a 2 yr old). The kids already try to pray before meals and all after being around my husband's family.
post #671 of 698
If I went the route of not seeing my religious relatives much that would include everyone in mine and my husbands families.
post #672 of 698

I agree with everything dakipode said. Mine is almost 3, and for him, when MIL talks about god, prays, credits god, etc... I let it go and then later L does not even remember/say anything. If he did then we could talk about it later, but one thing to keep in mind is that respecting their beliefs can include not calling them out on stuff, questioning it and/or finding yourselves in heated discussions over something that for them is innocuous. That's how they *think* reality is, so for them saying stuff like that may not be any type of passive-aggressive jab. If you get the feeling it is, you could always have a private discussion later after the kids go to bed. If not..... and they start calling you out on stuff you say from an atheist POV... you could always say this is how I'm treating you, I'd ask for the same respect. Good luck.
 

post #673 of 698
I think if you must be around religious family members a lot, and you're not comfortable with the amount of religious talk to your kids, one alternative is to pull people aside for a private chat in which you ask them to lay off the God talk. I don't know from experience exactly, but my guess is that this will lead to serious unpleasantness. I feel bad for you, jerusha! My suggestion is to let it go in the moment and talk to your kids about your beliefs after the fact. Eventually your kids may question those family members' statements on their own.
post #674 of 698
Where is everyone from?
post #675 of 698

New to this.  Can I just say that I am pleased to see over 30 pages on this thread?  YAY!  So much to read and think about!  My mother is a Christian minister, and I've been questioning her beliefs (sometimes antagonistically) for as long as I can remember.  I guess I'm agnostic, as I can't personally disprove the existence of God, but I don't have strong evidence to the contrary.  It is a bit tricky to navigate with young ones, but we seem to manage.  Santa is a known tradition, and we love winter decorations, but choose not to pretend gifts need to magically appear.  All questions are answered as openly as possible and with due respect.  

Quote:
Originally Posted by expat-mama View Post

Hello Atheists and Agnostics!

A while ago we were talking about books either to guide us in raising our children as free-thinkers and compassionate, moral and respectful atheists/agnostics or for the kids themselves. I found a few books for kids recently while browsing some humanist websites. Here they are and they look awesome, can't wait to get them. I think they are for older kids (pre-teen or teen), but I think reading them to younger kids could introduce some concepts and ideas that would be beneficial if you guide them along.

What About Gods?

Humanism, What's That? A Book for Curious Kids

Maybe Right, Maybe Wrong: A Guide for Young Thinkers

Maybe Yes, Maybe No: A Guide for Young Skeptics


If anyone has read these books let me know how you liked them. Reading the descriptions and reviews on Amazons has made me really excited to read them. They're on my wish list for now.

 

I am so bummed that these are not available at the library.  I have been trying to find such stuff to read before buying, but it just isn't easy to search without specific titles.  Sigh...  No shortage of material for "believers", though.

post #676 of 698
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerusha070707 View Post

Where is everyone from?


I'm from Durango. You can also look on the side under the post count and if a member has given a location it will show there.

post #677 of 698

Hi!  I've just found out about this tribe, glad to find some like-minded mamas out there.  I'm in Lincoln, Nebraska and have a 2 year old daughter.  We haven't had to deal much with our family members reminding our little one what a 'blessing' and 'miracle' she is  (we weren't supposed to have children).  We were told so many times while I was pregnant and while she was an infant that she is such a miracle that we finally had to tell family that they had to stop saying that.  Our daughter is amazing, but we like her to know that she is incredible for who she is and how she interacts with the world, and that all people are incredible.  I tried going to a Unitarian church here so she could be raised with that community (my husband is Episcopal, but I don't want her to go to that church unless we can take her to many different churches of differing faiths for the exposure), but they were a little too insistent on me being more active in the community than I was yet ready for.  

 

Do any of you find it hard being part of a community when you don't share religious views?  There is a great unschooling community here, and while we do participate in some of the activities, they often come back to some aspect of Christianity and I feel like the odd ball out.  I've recently closed my facebook account because I thought some of the local folks I met through the unschooling and AP groups could be good matches for our family, but it just isn't working out and I'm feeling a bit isolated.  How do you find community being an atheist with kids?  Have you found one?

post #678 of 698
Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisnjeri View Post
 How do you find community being an atheist with kids?  Have you found one?

I'm jealous of your unschooling community, religious or not! There are unschoolers in our area but our area has a weird culture and it's not a very strong consistent group. Anyway... thankfully there is an atheist meetup every month and my DH has gone and met a few others with kids (young kids, like our son) including a SAHD or two like my DH. My son is about to turn 3, I do refer to him as a blessing, because in a way I do feel like I am blessed to have one (we struggled with secondary IF) but luckily no one said any of the miracle stuff, that would of gotten on my nerves after awhile too.

 

:)

post #679 of 698
Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisnjeri View Post
Do any of you find it hard being part of a community when you don't share religious views?  There is a great unschooling community here, and while we do participate in some of the activities, they often come back to some aspect of Christianity and I feel like the odd ball out.  I've recently closed my facebook account because I thought some of the local folks I met through the unschooling and AP groups could be good matches for our family, but it just isn't working out and I'm feeling a bit isolated.  How do you find community being an atheist with kids?  Have you found one?

I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to find a group of people that think like me on most/all of the things I think are a big deal: education, atheism/agnosticismc, voluntaryism, consensual living, genital integrity, etc. I'm a part of a homeschool co-op & we're almost done our second year.  It's been a revolving door of people coming & going.  There's only one other family who has been a part of it along w/ me, since the beginning.  When dh & I decided our children would not go to school, it wasn't because we didn't want them to be around other children.  Well, trying to find others who make helping home educated children make & keep friends has been a challenge to say the least. So many are too busy w/ their other school-at-home priorities.  There is a looooooot of religious homeschooling around here too. greensad.gif

 

We are considering moving to a state where the home ed laws aren't as restrictive (from PA to NC).  That's part of the reason I want to move.  I'm tired of putting so much time/energy into preparing the paperwork needed to prove I'm educating my child & it's going to get worse next year when I have two to prove it for.  If we move & I find other atheists/agnostics, well, I'll just be all the happier! bouncy.gif

 

Best wishes,

Sus

post #680 of 698

Hi everyone!!

 

I am joining this thread now to see what's up in the atheist moms world :) - We are first time parents, both atheists with one set of secular Jewish parents, and one set of very devout Christian parents. We are looking forward to lots of interesting issues with this topic! :) 

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by chrisnjeri View Post

 

Do any of you find it hard being part of a community when you don't share religious views?  There is a great unschooling community here, and while we do participate in some of the activities, they often come back to some aspect of Christianity and I feel like the odd ball out.  I've recently closed my facebook account because I thought some of the local folks I met through the unschooling and AP groups could be good matches for our family, but it just isn't working out and I'm feeling a bit isolated.  How do you find community being an atheist with kids?  Have you found one?

 

I am in Colorado, and though I know a lot of atheists, what I seem to find troublesome is that without religion there aren't that many *structured* communities for us to be a part of. I grew up in church, and my parents continue to be active in theirs, and I can't help but be jealous of the fellowship they enjoy. I think it's hard because atheists, generally speaking, have little else in common! Religions can come with a nice, built in commonality that makes fellowship easier. 

 

I am also finding it hard to be a part of mom's groups though. Around here, even the religious ones are fairly progressive and relatable in lots of ways, but I am not sure how to broach the topic when it comes up. I usually just get quiet and feel left out until the topic changes again. 

 

We've contemplated starting some kind of Salon or "Atheist Sunday School" to have a place for discussion and community building, but I am worried people will think I am a wannabe cult leader. 

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