All children by C-section tribe )_( - Page 53

[Norasmomma]

Well Ladies I am here and will be having another baby in late Sept/early Oct via RC/S. I am totally ready and prepared for it in my mind and have been trying to figure out what needs to be done to have it be as wonderful and experience as can be. My hospital where it will happen is the same one as DD's c/s a couple years ago. The hospital is wonderful and one of the four "baby friendly" ones in the state of WA. They promote rooming in, breastfeeding and don't have a nursery-unless it is a very serious emergency. My last c/s was an emergency after 30+hrs of labor and DD becoming stuck beyond belief, due to this I have a T incision and have been repeatedly advised to not vbac or labor due to a marked risk of uterine rupture. This hospital often does vbac and so I take their advice pretty seriously.

If anyone has any advice about a RC/S and anything I may need to be aware of please let me know. TIA-Erin

[RiverMamma]

Jannah6 - Congratulations!: She is beautifull! I'm glad to hear that it went well. Good luck with the birth controll issue, if your anything like me though, you'll want nothing to do w/ your DH for the next 6-12mo anyways & have nothing to wory about!

Norasmomma - Congratulations to you too! From what I understand, planned c/s are much easier to go through & recover from. There are some good c/s birth plans in the archives of this post to take a look at. It sounds like you are in good hands too, I am glad for that.

BTW, did anyone else here stop in the first bit of their mothering magazine this issue, at the photo of the c/s? I haven't seemed to be able to make it past that page yet... I just stare at it... & then put the mag down.

[Tami16]

Epilepsy

My son was delivered by C Section 46 hours after my water broke. I just never really went into labor despite pitocian. I finally agreed to the cesarean because the doctor said that she though the babies head was tilted wrong and a lack of crowning was stopping the birth. She said next time I could just have a VBAC. The hospital where I lived don't even allow VBACs anymore due to the liability, though I don't think they'd take me now, anyway. Since my son was born I learned that I have epilepsy with clonic tonic seizures brought on by exhaustion. I've put off taking meds in hope that I could get pregnant again, so if I have another baby, that will be it and I'll just console myself with not needing a seperate surgery for the tubalectomy. I would really like to try a natural birth, and I wish my son could have been natural, but I guess I'd rather us be alive than satisfied.

[Tami16]

Originally Posted by jackie75

Actually, the risk after two is almost the same as one. The risk after four is almost the same. Sure, the risk goes up slightly, but not enough for me to hop up on that operating table willingly.

Any one else see that study out by Kaiser about VBAmC? Pretty impressive. Although I think they were a bit optimistic about the ACOG reversing their guidelines about VBAmC. VBAmC study

I have a friend who had 7 c sections followed by two natural births. The first one was an emergancy and after that the doctors just pressured her to keep have cesareans. After seven, she decided to risk it with a daring midwife. Fortunately all went went and the boys and mom are both healthy.

[Tami16]

Originally Posted by intorainbowz

Hi,

I morn that someone will touch them before me.

I rejoice in my healthy baby. I rejoice in my own personal health. I rejoice at my vagina which is ummmm as it was. (I mean, if we have to have c/s there HAS to be something good from it right?)

You still get to touch them first. You have close to a nine month headstart on everyone else.

My husband has commented on the advantage of our son being cesarean. I think I'd rather have had a vaginal birth than a tight vagina, but at least the vagina is a nice consolation prize.

[Tami16]

Originally Posted by Leilalu

You'll pass on the legacy of BIRTH. As in , she was born when maybe she might not have been?
I think that is enough for any mom.
I think other factors can always play in- such as faith, health, etc...but we can't always control things like that.

Case in point, I just had my second miscarriage in 5 months time Saturday I have 2 beautiful children besides that. Nothing I did or didn't do could've changed it. But I thank God for my babies I have.

Anyway. I am not in the mood for trolls today

My son is nine and I told him from the beginning that he was stubborn and had to be cut out of me (he really is stubborn), though I also told him that without the cesarean and modern medicine we would have died, so I'm glad they were able to get him out at all. A hundred years ago, we wouldn't be here. I'm sure millions of mom's over the years would have had cesareans rather than die, given the option. When we were talking yesterday it was the first time that he grasped that there was another way to be born. He'd always accepted that he came straight out through the tummy where the line is on mom, but yesterday he suddenly grasped that there must be another way out if his birth was special. That was an interesting discussion!

[Tami16]

Originally Posted by Jessy1019

Subbing too.

My daughter was born by c-section after 20 hours of labor and three hours pushing. She just wasn't moving.

When my son came along, I was willing to have another c-section (I recovered very quickly and didn't feel terrible about my first experience) but I was entirely opposed to scheduling. Fortunately, I stood my ground and so got to experience labor again and know that he was being born on his own timetable, not the doctor's. It was actually a very positive experience . . . I regret not being able to birth naturally, but I recovered quickly again and had him with me save for a few minutes after birth when I was wheeled into recovery (but they brought him to me there, and he was nursing within the first 30 minutes or so).

I wish things had been different, but I am thankful that my c-section experiences were nothing like the horror stories I've heard and believe to be more the norm.

The thing that scares me the most about another c section is the recovery. I ended up with an infection at the site so bad that it ruptured the wound a week after the cesarean. Next time I'll know what an infection feels like and won't spend a couple days figuring it's just normal post op pain.

I like the idea of scheduling the birth if I'm having a cesarean anyway. With a date on the calender, I can work around my husbands schedule. With his work schedule and a natural delivery date I'd only have a 50/50 chance of him being in town for the birth.

[RiverMamma]

Originally Posted by Tami16

Originally Posted by intorainbowz
Hi,
I morn that someone will touch them before me.


You still get to touch them first. You have close to a nine month headstart on everyone else.

My husband has commented on the advantage of our son being cesarean. I think I'd rather have had a vaginal birth than a tight vagina, but at least the vagina is a nice consolation prize.

The touch thing was a big issue for me. Thank you Tami16, I needed to hear that.

As far as the yoni is concerned, I couldn't care less about it being tight or not. In fact, I seem to be harboring negative emotions around it, as though it failed or something (wich of course it didn't, DD couldn't even reach it! She was tied up next to the placent, I even started to tear the cord out of the placenta pushing so hard. She never even reached the pubic bone.) I have defonitly been really emotional about it since then though, I don't want it touched, when it is touched It is painfull. I feel kinda bad for my DH, but it really is an uncomfertable thing for me right now, & DD is almost 11mo.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by Tami16

My husband has commented on the advantage of our son being cesarean. I think I'd rather have had a vaginal birth than a tight vagina, but at least the vagina is a nice consolation prize.

Your relationship is your own, of course. If my dh said that to me, he'd either be celibate, divorced or having an affair...because he'd never come near that "advantage" again.

Oh - and I didn't even get the "consolation prize". I may have a tight vagina (although maybe not, as some of the strain on that area is just from pregnancy itself), but I can no longer do kegels properly due to nerve damage...and was unable to even feel my clitoris for six months after ds2 was born.

I find the attitude that a tight vagina is an advantage of major surgery to be unbelievably misogynistic.

[Norasmomma]

RiverMamma-Have you thought about counseling for this? I really think that it may be very beneficial for you and your DH. I know you have spoken about it in the past, but this seems to be a huge emotional burden for you(and your family). I never once have felt like a failure in any way, sure my DD may have been stuck, she was crashing and my uterus gave out, but I GREW HER and she is healthy and alive because of my body, regardless of how she got out. I guess for me there is a bigger picture and it's what happen after the baby's birth that matters the most, dwelling on the past doesn't make for a healthy future.

[BohoMama]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

I find the attitude that a tight vagina is an advantage of major surgery to be unbelievably misogynistic.

Ditto. Similar reasoning used to also be given for episiotomies being an automatic part of every vaginal delivery "Your husband will thank you for this." And here we think "ritual genital mutilation" performed in other countries is barbaric....

And as far as patriarchal thinking goes, check out the data on Brazil: in some parts of the country more than half of the women are having planned c-sections - and in the cities it is 80-90%.
Here's just one link:
http://www.nursingcenter.com/Library...icle_ID=777133

Besides convenience, another reason I've seen cited is they believe it lets them still be "virginal" after having their child. And it is an indication for tubal ligation, which may be the only way some of them can prevent more pregnancies (can't get their men to wear condoms?)

Also, as Storm Bride points out, pregnancy itself puts a strain on the vagina and the perineum, and our labia can also change quite a lot - size, color, shape, etc. Permanent nerve damage after c-section(s) isn't that uncommon (I've got it too, in the form of a large dead zone in my lower belly) and that doesn't add much to one's erotic life. But we are mothers, and it behooves our partners to honor this fact by respecting the changes to our bodies. We are strong and adaptable, and we have to find ways to keep moving.

In sum, it's good to find a bright side to things that happen in our own lives, but let's make sure not to turn this into generalizations for everybody.

Peace,
Melinda
(10 hours to go until C/S #3 !!!)

[Silvercrest79]

Originally Posted by Tami16

I have a friend who had 7 c sections followed by two natural births. The first one was an emergancy and after that the doctors just pressured her to keep have cesareans. After seven, she decided to risk it with a daring midwife. Fortunately all went went and the boys and mom are both healthy.

No offense meant..... but this is not exactly what I want to read about in this thread. Especially since I had a c/s with #1 (after 32 hours of labor) and then went on to have a dehiscence with #2 (discovered when c/s was done after 16 hours of good contractions), and then a total rupture with #3 (after 24 hours of hard labor and transfer to the hospital) and a baby who suffered brain damage and who wasn't supposed to ever breathe on her own much less be able to see, hear, eat, talk, or walk on her own (she recovered but she is one of the very very lucky FEW).

[Peppermint]

Have I come on here to tell you all I will be having c-section #5 in September? I'm a bit surprised, but happy:.

I admit that a new pregnancy is always slightly tainted by knowing I have to go through another section, but- I know it will be worth it in the end

[SMR]

I suppose i'll pop in here to say hello! I had my first bycesarean after DAAAAAYS of labor, with nearly no progress.. my 2nd was going to be my beautiful vbac, but all that changed when I learned that he had died inside my womb at 39 weeks in September. I for the first time was so grateful that I'd had Gwen by c-section, because that meant I could choose to deliver Dresden the same way. I could not imagine waiting to start labor and then trying to deliver him naturally.. t was to much to bear. I'm now pregnant again and will have a planned early c-section (hopefully 37-38 weeks, as I don't want to be near 39 weeks again! plus this baby is due the same day as my son's due date!CRAZY!!) So, now I'm part of the 'all children by c-section club'! I must say that I'm a little freaked about the whole planned section thing... the other two were in the heat of the moment, but this time I've got the whole 9 months to think about it! One benefit I can think of.. is that I can recline the whole time and not worry about bad positioning for labor! Always look on the bright side, right!?

[Silvercrest79]

I am so nervous just thinking about having a planned and that I will know the day. None of my were planned ("elective") so I've never been down this road before, it was always done as a last resort under duress.

[Silvercrest79]

Originally Posted by Peppermint

Have I come on here to tell you all I will be having c-section #5 in September? I'm a bit surprised, but happy:.

I admit that a new pregnancy is always slightly tainted by knowing I have to go through another section, but- I know it will be worth it in the end

CONGRATS!! :

[Peppermint]

Thank you

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by Silvercrest79

I am so nervous just thinking about having a planned and that I will know the day. None of my were planned ("elective") so I've never been down this road before, it was always done as a last resort under duress.

I hate knowing the day. Even with dd, where my surgery was only scheduled about 36 hours before it was performed, it bothered me. This one is just weird. People ask me when the due date is, and I actually know - probably, as it will depend on OR availability - when the baby will arrive (barring premature labour, of course). It just doesn't feel right.

It all just feels so surreal. There's never been anything wrong with any of babies, until Aaron. Even with Aaron, we don't actually know what happened. I just don't get how I can have healthy pregnancies, and no complications and just keep getting cut...

[claras_mom]

On knowing the day....

It is weird. I find that with some people, I'll still make like it's an EDD, or just say "early April." (the worst of that is that it's scheduled for April 1st. So people will say "oh, don't let your baby be born on April Fool's Day!" as if you even have a choice with a vaginal birth.) Anyway, I'm vague because I'm still processing/pissed off about my lack of choice in the matter--because I don't consider driving 2-3 hours to the nearest VBAC-supporting hospital to be a real choice. So I have to make sure that I'm willing to talk about it being a rc/s AND that I can keep my cool (the hormonal mood swings this time around are a bit of an issue, and that feeds into it as well).

[mamamccloud]

Well, here I am. I am coming out of a battle for VBA2C, and am in the process of scheduling my third c-section. My struggle and battle are in the VBAC section under VBA2C after a dehiscence. I'm still morning, but am getting excited about having my baby -in less than 4 weeks!

During my battle, I stopped and read this thread and it was so encouraging and healing. So many people have expressed so many of my thoughts and it has been reassuring that I am not crazy for feeling so hurt by repeat c-sections. I'm pretty sure that I will have more children, but my uterus is very thin so I will be taking it one baby at a time. But after this one I will be on BREAK! This is my third baby in less than three years. I'd like two more if everything goes well. I think that I'll always try to have a VBAC, but honestly I think that I am one of the once-a-c-section-always-a-c-sectioner.

Thanks for being here.