All children by C-section tribe )_( - Page 4

[Silvercrest79]

Originally Posted by jackie75

One more thing, & I'm out of here.

I was not beating anything. Just asking questions, & stating some facts.

I don't wear rose-colored glasses. VBAC is safer than repeats. The research is there. And most women are in denial...and LIED too.

Buh-bye.

They aren't when you rupture and blow your insides apart and lose your reproductive organs and your baby's life. :

My point is.... we know the facts and they didn't do us a bit of good and they won't ever do us any good so why would we want to hear them?

[prmom]

ok..I am going to join here. On a different note...

I am a 2 c/s mama. My first was pushed into my pelvis in the posterior position with a midwife I can't stand who broke my waters and made me push and didn't realize the baby was op until after I pushed for several hours (after active labor for 15 hours). This was devistating to me and I was most upset when I did research on op and realized that the signs of a baby that was op were clear before I even began "official" active labor.

I educated myself high for a vbac and #2 was clearly not op, I went through labor completely (ending up with horrid midwife again...networks...ugh) and baby decelled for longer then they were comfortable with and I was put to sleep for c/s 2.

Being put to sleep was more devastating to me than the c/s itself.

I have mourned not having a vaginal birth, but have rechanelled the grief and off all things became a doula. I LOVE IT! I have unfortuntately seen two c/s, but most of the labors are wonderful and everytime I understand a little about myself and my c/s and have come to peace with it.

I have also had the wonderful experience of "finishing my birth tape" by having a very vivid dream about a vaginal birth. I was by myself and I pushed the baby out and felt pain and pressure and emotions that I was not able to feel during my actual labors. Sounds cooky, but we all do what we need to to heal.

We are definetely done. C/s 2 sealed the deal, though I also am convinced I felt complete with 2 anyhow.

[mata]

I hope this thread can move forward as it was intended-it serves such a wonderful purpose. It was clear to me what Silvercrest79s intentions were, and I hope everyone goes out and finds the specific type of support they need to come to terms with their cesarean births, whether that be on this thread or another.

Storm bride, I'm so sorry you were denied your VBAC. The way you described your feelings resonated so strongly with me-I'm sorry your doctor did that! I remember the morning I got to the hospital for c#2 and all I wanted to do was turn around and run out-and I was so furious! I made them wait for me while I went in the bathroom for about half an hour to clear some emotions. And what you said about the irony of having smooth sailing during the pregnancy-the absolute same thing here. I often wondered about the whole cosmic balance of that.

[mata]

that's wonderful, prmom-you've really found some creative ways to heal. What you said about the dream doesn't sound kooky at ALL-I've done some healing visualizations too and they really, really helped.

[ericswifey27]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

I'm also one of those. I didn't need to be. I hate it, and it wasn't ever necessary.

This topic is how I found Mothering in the first place. This was the only place I found on the web where people didn't think I was nuts for hating my c-sections and hating myself for caving in and letting myself be cut.
.

This thread is making me teary. I have only one child (by unwanted, unneccessary c-section) and I don't know what the future holds for future birthing, whether I will end up with another c-section or not.

But I also feel deceived by the medical community and I am still angry and depressed about it 2 1/2 years later. The fact that there are so many women here in various stages of grieving about their birthing experiences is very sad.

It is women, not doctors that need to be put back in control of their labor and delivery, whichever method that ends up being.

[magpie mamma]

I had 2 c/s and am done. I feel for the woman that mourn the lost opportunity of vaginal birthing, I feel I still gave birth and look at it this way. There is a dream of a perfect wedding, whatever form that may take for someone, but what follows is the marriage. What I really wanted was the "marriage" my DD's are here and in many ways it was not the journey that I would have planned but I have continued opportunities to give them what I can in many ways, they are no less special because of their entry point into the world. I used to joke that DD1 didn't go down a covered tube slide until she was about 6 years old because she thought she didn't like the idea from the beginning and didn't want to start now. I wish you all peace.

[mightymoo]

Originally Posted by prmom

I have mourned not having a vaginal birth, but have rechanelled the grief and off all things became a doula. I LOVE IT! I have unfortuntately seen two c/s, but most of the labors are wonderful and everytime I understand a little about myself and my c/s and have come to peace with it.

I had my doula with me for my second c/s and it was great! I know it seems like you wouldn't *need* a doula for a c/s, but it made a lot of difference in making it a wonderful birth despite what it was. I was planning a VBAC, which is why I originally contracted her services. In the end when we scheduled the c/s at 42 weeks since I hadn't gone into labor, she came to the hospital, came into the OR with us and took pictures and stayed for a few hours after the birth.

I loved that she could take pictures allowing my husband and I to focus on the birth and our son and yet still have lots of pictures of the event. It was also great having someone to hold my hand and tell me what was happening after the baby was born, because of course DH went to be with the baby and I couldn't see them, but I didn't feel alone. The hospital staff just doesn't really do anything for you emotionally, they all have jobs to do for you physically and they seem to concentrate on that.

And it was especially good afterwards to have my own personally helper to help us get nursing started immediately and she was right there when I passed out to take the baby and to call the nursing staff. (I had a low blood count and the loss of blood from the surgery though not more than usual was enough to drop my blood pressure and cause me to pass out and my heart to beat twice as fast as usual) It was only DH, myself and the doula in the room when it happened and I was holding the baby. Thank goodness they were right there to take him when I said I was dizzy.

Anyway, I'm digressing!! The next one will be a c/s and I'm thinking I'll hire a doula anyway, though I won't expect to pay as much (seeing as they will know exactly when it will be and should be a lot less time than a birth).

[ToothFairy]

Originally Posted by magpie mamma

There is a dream of a perfect wedding, whatever form that may take for someone, but what follows is the marriage. What I really wanted was the "marriage"...

That is so beautiful. You have just described exactly how I feel. My dd's may not have come into the world with a perfect birth, but what I celebrate is their lives, not their grand entrance. What an elequent quote, thank you for sharing that!!

[Debstmomy]

Thank you for starting this thread.

I am fortunate to have 2 vag births. Then I had uterine surgery. When my DD was stillborn I chose to have a c-sec. From that point I knew, I would only have c-secs in the future & I am ok with that. I do not go into labor. Never have, probably never will & I will not put labor inducing drugs on my scar. Hence, the c-sec choice when my dd died in utero.

Thank you for starting this thread in which it was meant. Those of us who have c-secs for what ever reason and giving us the power of motherhood, now matter how our children came into this world. I constantly remind myself I am not less of a Mom or NFL because my child did not come through my vagina.

[Leilalu]

great idea for a thread!
So uh moving on from that huge fight back there...:


I had 2 c-sections. My babies just don't seem to want to come out. dd was a footling breech, 44 weeks(accurate dates) tried EVERYTHING, and I mean everything to get that girl out. Ds was 2 1/2 weeks late , water broke, contractions that stopped and started with no regular rythm. No dropping, dialating, anything-just like dd.Went as long as we could without interfering. I chose another section so that he could avoid the drugs of an epidural. becuase my 2 options were cesarean or picticin. I had a wonderful OB, very well respected itn the natural birthing community.

I am trying for a third currently. I just had an early miscarriage. I have had about 3 now altogether. (one before each baby)
I would love to experience a natural birth this time. but I have to admit I am tempted to just go with what I know. As in, scheduled c-section. plus who knows what will happen this time? I probably have alot of scar tissue as well, and I must admit the idea of a tummy tuck for all my loose tummy skin is tempting. I got fat deposits on my upper abdomen from breech 44 weeker dd. And gaining and losing 60 pounds each time did a number on my fair skin.

Now that is not to say I will definitely have a section. ( I may be preggered now) But how safe for my current situation regarding birthing is it to vbac?
I definitely do not feel led to go it on my own. And no midwife would even take me for a homebirth with ds. I had a midwife as my doula in the hospital last time.

So, I dunno what will happen. I guess I just need to overcome my fears regarding birth either way. And take to it with alot of prayer

[nfpmom]

Originally Posted by magpie mamma

There is a dream of a perfect wedding, whatever form that may take for someone, but what follows is the marriage. What I really wanted was the "marriage" my DD's are here and in many ways it was not the journey that I would have planned but I have continued opportunities to give them what I can in many ways, they are no less special because of their entry point into the world.

I've used a similar analogy, only different... Imagine you were planning the wedding of your dreams all your life. At the last minute you get married in a courthouse by the justice of the peace. Yeah you are still married, buts its not the beautiful sacramental wedding ceremony you thought you were going to have. You are allowed to feel bad about missing out on the dream wedding,e ven if you are married.

[brandileigh77]

I fit in here.....

My son was a emergency c/s when my bp dropped and his heart rate dropped after 24 hours of labor. He was posterior with the cord wrapped around his chest 3 times.

My daughter was a planned VBAC...until I chickened out and went for a scheduled c/s. I still regret it to this day.

I am now pregnant with my third baby and the hospital I am delivering at will not let me try for a VBAC at this time. It breaks my heart and I do feel a sadness that I will never be able to experience giving birth as my body should. I had a miscarriage before this pregnancy so I do feel blessed to be carrying a baby that is healthy so I will just be thankful for that and try not to be too upset about another scheduled c/s.

[mata]

welcome to mdc, brandileigh77

[mightymoo]

Originally Posted by Debstmomy

I do not go into labor. Never have, probably never will

Me neither. Two babies, 42.5 weeks with the first (on perfect dates, I was charting) and 42 weeks with the second trying EVERYTHING to get labor started short of drugs from 38 weeks on. I never have gone into labor. Honestly of all the things that were upseting to me about my birth, this one is the biggest. I feel like my body betrayed me and didn't do what it was 'supposed to do' and its a lot harder to believe in my bodies ability to do other things (like say have a 11 pound baby by VBAC) when it can't even do that!

That said, I'm not THAT upset by it, I've come to terms with my births. I am not looking forward to another c/s, but I'm not that upset about what I've lost. After two c/s and doing everything according to what I was supposed to do based on the research (Henci Goer couldn't fault me) I now feel that I do fall into that bucket of women that wouldn't have survived childbirth 100 years ago. I just have a multitude of factors that all add up to it (don't go into labor and create huge babies which tend to be posterior)

In the realm of things, I'd rather have the healthy babies I have and a crappy birth than an ideal birth and a baby bith health issues, so I count myself lucky. On the other hand, I worry that I've been so lucky so far, I'm due for something to go horribly wrong with the third one.

[Hatteras Gal]

I had 2 c/s for my dds. With dd1, my water broke but I wasn't having contractions on my own, so 12 hours later I got pit. I was to 4 cm 24 hours after my water breaking, I was exhausted and in pain, so when my OB recommended a c/s, I agreed.
With dd2, I decided I would see what happened but if her due date came and went I'd have a c/s. Well, 2 weeks before her due date, my water broke. I was very sick, quite possibly with pertussis, and my cough broke my water. I knew I was going to have a c/s because things were progressing just like my 1st. No contractions on my own. I also chose the c/s the 2nd time around b/c my OB was leaving the next day for 2 weeks. I wanted him, not a stranger, to be there for the delivery.
I am almost certain we won't have any more children. I do not mourn not having vaginal births. I have 2 healthy children from two healthy pregnancies and two healthy deliveries.

[Debstmomy]

Ruby Red & MightyMoo, I think that there are a hand full (meaning very few) women that either, do not make enough oxytocin or we do not have enough receptor sites to recieve the oxytocin. I count myself as one that does not make enough. I wish there was more research into this, but since we are in the minority or even smaller than that, it will not be researched. (Unless I do it! Not sure I am smart enough for that! : )

[mightymoo]

Originally Posted by Debstmomy

Ruby Red & MightyMoo, I think that there are a hand full (meaning very few) women that either, do not make enough oxytocin or we do not have enough receptor sites to recieve the oxytocin. I count myself as one that does not make enough. I wish there was more research into this, but since we are in the minority or even smaller than that, it will not be researched. (Unless I do it! Not sure I am smart enough for that! : )

Interesting. I certainly did not react normally to the artificial oxytocin (pitocin) - my uterus went hyper and clamped down for waht I like to call the '45 minute contraction from hell' that forced me to get an epi. After the epi and upping the pitocin to the max my uterus was contracting every 30 seconds with little to no pressure (as determined by an internal monitor) - I never moved more than 1 cm in 24 hours and I was 3cm when I started the induction and 42.5 weeks pregnant, so its unlikely it was due to my cervix not being ready. It would be interesting to know for sure if it was a receptor issue, but like you said, we'll never know.

(BTW, there were other mitigating factors - DD was posterior, I had a fever, etc)

[Hatteras Gal]

Originally Posted by Debstmomy

Ruby Red & MightyMoo, I think that there are a hand full (meaning very few) women that either, do not make enough oxytocin or we do not have enough receptor sites to recieve the oxytocin. I count myself as one that does not make enough. I wish there was more research into this, but since we are in the minority or even smaller than that, it will not be researched. (Unless I do it! Not sure I am smart enough for that! : )

That's interesting. I wonder if that has anything to do with why I never had any let-down reflex. Oxytocin has something to do with that, doesn't it? : I should know that answer, but at the moment, I can't think of the relationship.

[Debstmomy]

Ruby Red yes it is related. I never made enought milk either. I am POSITIVE the two go hand in hand, for me anyways.

The question is why??? Was it what my mom did with me in-utero? Was it my Dad working on governement bases (where we know they use all kinds of chemicals)? Was it where we lived? Was it???????? Not knowing why is the hardest.

[Leilalu]

very interesting idea.
With ds, I did go into some labor naturally, but my water broke and he went to long without any real stuff happenign for anyone to feel comfortable leaving him in there.

I wonder if maybe my body was reacting to all the soy I drank and ate? becasue now, I don't drink any soymilk regualrly-maybe an occasional latte, but I almost completely stopped the unfermented soy. I am hoping this time around with the next baby it will be better. I know soy has alot of plant estrogens.
I have always made enough milk, I think. I seem to have alot.

But I still to this day wonder why I never reacted to any type of inducement with dd, and why ds never dropped - why do my babies just stay up there?