How dare he...

[mimi_n_tre]

So I think DH is getting jealous of baby...

The other night DH had the nerve to say,"Well, she doesn't need to be attached to your tit all day long..." What an a**.... I didn't think of anything to say but " Well fine, go make her a bottle and YOU can wake up all night an feed her." Then he goes on to saying about how the baby doesn't like him ( which I think he gets from a friend of ours who is always saying that his baby doesn't like him: ) and how he is just trying to make the baby like him. So I go on to say that yeah, that will make her like you so much more by not feeding her when she is hungry, at this point she was pretty much screaming. So he asks me where the bottle is, and I tell him "You are not feeding my daughter formula!" Man did this cause a big arguement. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to give her a bottle at all if possible, and he tends to think that when she starts crying, she is not hungry (when a majority of the time she is...) and says to give her a pacifier, when he was the one against them in the first place :

Then for the last two days or so, he says I seem depressed. I am tired, and since she came about a month early, we didn't get anything that I wanted to get done, and this place is too small, and I just can't deal with DS even though he isn't being bad or anything, and..... I am just so tired and need a few more of me to get everything and everyone done and happy....

On top of that, I still am not healed from my c/s. Its been 4 weeks and I am still open in places and oozing. When will this ever end???

Man, I wish men could breastfeed ( Just needing to vent) .....

[momsmyjob]

mama

Are you co-sleeping? That's one way to get some sleep. Sorry I can't help with the c-section..I've never had one, but I would call the Dr. and ask if it's normal.

Keep Bfing, you're doing the right thing and a good job at that

[Still_Snarky]

Originally Posted by momsmyjob

Keep Bfing, you're doing the right thing and a good job at that

: Hang in there mama. I'm sorry dh isn't being supportive of you. Big hugs to you.

[puddleduck]

Your dh's reaction is simular to that of the dh's of several friends of mine. They end up behaving like stroppy kids because they are not getting enough attention. Could you give your dh special baby duties to do - like bath time? I guess you could express and give dh a bottle of that to feed babe once a day...

Maybe you need to appeal to the 'warrior man' and make him feel like you really need him - personally i'd get him looking after your older ds and doing all the housework.

After having a c-section you really need to be taking it easy - give your body time to heal.

hope it all sorts itself out soon.

[Sandrine]

hugs, it does get better.

[TanyaS]

I agree that you should talk to him when you are both not upset about how you are recovering from major abdominal surgery with very little sleep because of the demands of a newborn and a toddler. I agree with the pp about making him feel needed. As much as us moms like to do it all, you DO need him if you are going to recover from the surgery without risking your health. Having a newborn isn't easy. Giving your first child a sibling isn't easy. Recovering from surgery isn't easy. And you're having to do all of these things. Many dads are jealous of the time we have to spend with these new creatures. Set him up for success and have him hold the baby when you know she's in a good mood. Encourage him to find what works for them and try to not help unless he asks. Tell him the signs of wanting to nurse, so that if she does then he will see them. When he holds her, suggest that he not use the cradle position as it's bound to remind her of nursing. Suggest he snuggle her upright under his chin. Many babies like the vibration of dad's low voice when held there. My dh and dd would take walks outside in the night air when she was fussy and she always calmed down right away because of the change in scenery. Maybe suggest something like that and it will give you time to get a shower, get a snack or spend some one-on-one with your ds.

Hugs! It will get better!

[Max'sMama]

My response - With our new baby, I take her when DH is home and he takes the lead on the toddler, my view is that I will have her for about 2 years, then I will lose her (as I think of it) 'to the dark side'. Dark side being my husband. Not really, but after she stops nursing I will be essentially obsolete when dh is home (as I am and have been) in ds's eyes since he weaned. I was cool and the bomb, now if daddy is home I may as well fall off the earth:

So I have said to dh that I intend to take full advantage of having her nursing and on me until she wants him exclusively.

I read your post to dh and his response was - what a d**k, needs to grow up.

So two totally different takes in this house on your situation! I agree with PPs about asking your doc about the csect oozing. Hang in there mama, can you have dh take the lead on your older child? Will that help with his depression/feeling 'not necessary? My dh will hold dd upright against his chest and rub her back in a circle, that is really all she likes from him!

[annarosa]

sounds like you're right - dh is jealous and I think resentful of the new babe getting your attention - well too bad !
babes are meant to get all the attention - he needs to get a grip !
sorry to hear about the c-s not healing yet - maybe get this checked out like others have said
hugs to you