Mamas who went from 1 to 2 in June... - Page 2

[NCjen]

i think that it is MUCH easier than i predicted.. i remember when i was pregnant and told people they would be 18 months apart everyone said "WHOA! You are gonna have your hands full!!" and I was getting soooo scared! I feel very empowered that I can handle both of them.. I am not saying I dont lose my temper, but it is not as hard as I thought. Ds1 is SO good with dd2, he loves her so much, so that jealousy thing I worried about so much never happened. Whenever she cries he says "uh-oh" and runs to her side to pat her head, it melts my heart! The only thing I resent, is dd2 spends more time in swings/bouncies than ds1 did. When she goes down I put her down so I can play, where as with ds1 I would hold him for hours. I sling her when I can, but not as much as I could. And ds1 watches more tv, only when i am nursing though, and he is usually in his highchair eating also. the hardest part..is when i lay down at night and I used to know i had a good nights sleep ahead and now i know I am lucky to get a few hours at a time.. i miss sleep!!!

[PrairieBohemian]

Originally Posted by NCjen

Ds1 is SO good with dd2, he loves her so much, so that jealousy thing I worried about so much never happened. Whenever she cries he says "uh-oh" and runs to her side to pat her head, it melts my heart! The only thing I resent, is dd2 spends more time in swings/bouncies than ds1 did. When she goes down I put her down so I can play, where as with ds1 I would hold him for hours. I sling her when I can, but not as much as I could. And ds1 watches more tv...

So far no jealousy issues here either! maybe it comes later??? Or maybe we're home-free?

Same thing about TV here. I am so sorry about it but don't have a lot of ideas how to keep ds1 busy since he's still pretty dependant on me for entertainment.

The thing I am really sorry about is using a soother with ds2 when I just can't take it anymore. Tandem nursing is so hard sometimes I want to cry.

[AugustineM]

Oh, gosh, I wish DD would take a paci! I've been trying but she won't have it....

[Paddington]

This was very helpful as I am feeling a bit of all of it. Thanks mama. And I would post more but I will be missing out on good sleep and I have the air conditioning repair men coming tomorrow and two boys to juggle...

Originally Posted by mcimom

This was my hardest transition (I've got four now and 2-3 and 3-4 have been MUCH easier transitions!)

I had my first two 21 months apart and though I really like that spacing (my second set were 22 months apart), I wasn't prepared to lose my first baby. dd2 was really high needs (cried a lot and nursed ALL the time) so everyone came and took dd1 out for fun and left me with baby. On one hand that was really nice, but several times I felt like screaming, "let me have my little girl and someone take this *#&$ crying baby please!!" So I wish in retrospect I had taken a few more breathers with dd1 and left dd2 with someone else even for only a 1/2 hour or hour or so.

I also wasn't prepared for the little bit of resentment I found I had for dd2 at times for 'robbing' me of my relationship with dd1. It obviously really changed our dynamic, but the upside was how close a bond dd1 and dh developed. Now that I talk with other moms, I realize a LOT of moms feel that 'resentment' about the loss of their relationship with dc1, but at the time it just made me feel hugely guilty and terrible, yk? (it's always easier to admit to 'failings' after the fact )

So that's all I'd say about going from 1-2.

*Don't feel badly about how obnoxious your older child now seems but try to keep it in check too and cut them some slack. Pick your battles...decide what is an absolute no go and save all your "nos" for those behaviors rather than using them ALL the time. (Even with 4 kids and older ones now, they seem to instinctively save their "acting out" for when you are nursing and not in a position to physically stop them!)

*If you can take a half hour to an hour here and there to just be with your dc1 and have someone else take dc2. The reverse is also true - if you have help - it's great to experience a few moments with just one child.

*Don't feel badly if you experience some resentment toward the baby for changing your relationship with dc1. It's perfectly normal and you will get your "groove" back with them eventually The upside is usually a better bond b/t your dc1 and dh and/or other primary caregiver.

[NCjen]

I give dd2 a paci too, ds1 wouldn't take one. i am very thankful for this, it has saved us some screaming car trips and buys me a minute or two to get ds1 settled before i nurse her! i never was fan of paci's, but when used in the right way they sure are a lifesaver, and some babies are just sucklers!

[ckhagen]

I desperately want to give ds2 a paci... ds1 took one, but I gave it to him at 1 weeks old and by 6 weeks I had lost my milk (I have a very sensitive supply) and he was reaching FTT (gone from 99th percentile to 3rd in just 3 weeks). So... this time I'm trying to hold out the full requisite 6 weeks before I introduce a paci. The car rides are KILLERS and getting both of them down for a nap is really rough.

[PrairieBohemian]

Well I have TONS of milk--once it came in. Its actually why I give ds2 a paci much of the time. When I give him the breast and he gets a mouthful of milk when he's not hungry, he screams! I try various positions--same thing. If he IS hungry, there are no probs. I tell you, it sure stirs the lava in me to have a kid scream when I give him what soothed ds1.

This 1 to 2 is a whole new game. Talk about lessons in humillity and judgementalism.