Support for moms who can't breastfeed - Page 5

[corysmilk]

sleepymama
i just was on your web site. i am crying. what a beautiful story thank you for sharing! babe is a darling, what a little bundle,soooo cutie.

sorry I don't know what formula is good or better. I am bf'ing ds.
when i was ff'ing ds #1 he was on infalc, carnation, then some stuff that wouldn't mix together properly ( don't recall the name) then finally sma it was the only one that didn't cause him to have gas, runny or hard poos. any way at 6 months he had a servere reaction to the formula, he had the flu had elctrolye fluid for 24 hrs then back on his f . after six weeks........ yes 6 weeks of crohnic diarreha finally the dr said matbe he should be on soya.
he was sooo much better. i never thought to check the ff or anything i just thought if *they* sellit it must be good, for baby's RIGHT
i was pretty nieve back then

[Laurel]

Originally posted by Sleepymama
He drinks bottles like a breastfed baby--a little at a time, not full 8oz bottles like most FFed babies.

This is how my ds still is, and he's almost 18 months old. I can only think of 2-3 times in his entire life that he's downed an entire 8-oz bottle all at once. Even now it's often only 2-3 oz at a time, and it took him months to work up to that. We always fed on demand, even while bottlefeeding, and he was 4 1/2 months old before he was getting bottles full time. Before that he was nursing with a supplementer, so even though he was getting formula it was at the breast. I don't know if that's the reason or not. My ds also takes in the bottle nipple more like it were a breast. He doesn't get it quite as far back in his mouth as he did the breast, but he doesn't suck the end like most bottlefed babies either.

[Sleepymama]

On the DHA/ARA, there are absolutely NO studies that show it does anything good, and several that show it makes lots of babies gassy/upset tummies. My DS had horrible gas and screamed on the enfamil lipil they gave him in the hospital. At home we switched to regular carnation good start--now they make it with the acids but they didn't then. The proteins seem to be more broken down in it and it's easier for him to digest (we also spent 4 months on alimentum b/c of dairy sensitivity but then switched back to good start at 9 months) You can still get good start "supreme" w/o the acids.

They must make that organic formula without the acids. If not, that sucks. Basically, formula companies are advertising the DHA/ARA as the be-all end-all alternative to breastmilk, and it just makes the formula more expensive. Just MHO of course. Here is some research on it though. http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/DH...-comments.html

Thanks for looking at my site too I also have a breastfeeding story on BF.com if anyone wants to read it.
http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading...pump_room.html

[CaliMommie]

I just had to join you ladies! I can't tell you how good it feels to know I am not alone in this. I am unable to breastfeed my youngest son. Colby is almost 4-months-old. He bf exclusively for the first 2 months, and then had a sudden drop in weight. We went to our LC and it was deterined milk production wasn't an issue. After weeks of hospitalization we learned that he has sever exocrine pancreatic insufficiency. His body doesn't produce the enzymes necessary to digest fats. He is now on enzyme supplements & a specialized formula. I pumped for almost 6 weeks w/no bf while he was hospitalized & OP. I asked every day when he would be able to BF again & kept being told in a week or so. I am still suprised that Stanford wasn't more pro-breastfeeding!

Well, once home I finally rebelled & tried to bf (against the drs wishes; shame on me) but he will no longer take the breast. I am so disappointed. I bf my first until he weaned at 2 yrs, 8 mths, and had hoped to do childled weaning with Colby too. I cry all the time when I have to give him a bottle, and esp. when I see other mothers breastfeeding. I know I will adjust eventually (he has already started to ) and at leats he is finally gaining weight, but it's still very difficult.

If you made it all the way through this post, bless you!

AmiBeth

[SpiralWoman]

I cry all the time when I have to give him a bottle, and esp. when I see other mothers breastfeeding. I know I will adjust eventually

hi Amibeth, boy do I know how you feel! I just wanted to say hi & wish you well in your adjustment to this. Feelings of sadness for me come & go, but I know I am being the best mom I can be, & so are you! Glad your fella is gaining well now!
Take care, Maria

[mymarliegirl]

oh wow, i feel like i've truly found my tribe. thank you. before i stumbled upon this thread i posted my (very) detailed story under the bf overcoming troubles heading. my dd is 6mos and it so breaks my heart that i don't bf. tried, tried, tried. i feel so close to her in every way, its hard to imagine being any tighter, but i'll never know that bond of bfing. i am slowly getting over it. after posting my story many kind-hearted moms replied and i began to feel better. i had been so scared to share my story on these boards, because nursing seemed to be the one common link for everyone. so glad to have found you guys!!! my heart is with you all.
i just wanted to put in my two cents about goats milk. i have a wonderful dr. who saw me in tears many times as i mixed up stinky soy formula, i had it branded in my brain that formula was evil. (dd allergic to cows milk form.) my doc. suggested goats milk. it is the closest thing there is to human milk (tho still no match!!!) apparently many women who do not/cannot nurse use goats milk in the first year of life. dd is doing great on it, it doesn't stink, it's thinner, it just seems better. i put one dose of infant liquid multi-vitamin in a bottle a day to cover iron needs. its working great for US. everyone needs to find what works best for them. i still hate having to bottle feed, but i do feel a little better about what i put in the bottle.
Thanks again for this thread........i feel like i'm home

[mymarliegirl]

oh yeah, i forgot to say that for me i knew the goats milk worked well with dd's system when her poop became light colored and soft again, as it was with breastmilk for the first 6 weeks. (we're all moms here, i can write about poop, right?) when we had started formula her bms had turned dark, very stinky and rock hard and that always made me so sad. her insides (and out) seems much happier now. maybe its an option for a few of you.

[Leatherette]

I BF'd my son until 14 months. I almost gave up many, many, times, because I had recurring mastitis that would not totally clear up, despite LC advice and docs and LLL on how to prevent them. I ran a low-grade fever for those 14 months, with 4-5 days every 6 weeks (or more) of a 104 degree fever. And diarrhea from having to take antibiotics all the freaking time.

My daughter was adopted, and I could not induce lactation. I did try (pumping and herbs for two months with zero results), but I can't help thinking I maybe would have tried harder if the experience with my son had not been so difficult. Part of me was so afraid of going through the mastitis again with only a tiny bit of milk being produced for my daughter, and dealing with the depression I had because I was so sick and couldn't enjoy my son's first year.

I think FF is a big pain in the ass (bottles, cleaning, night feeding). I hate feeding my daughter powder. It feels wierd every time I do it. But she is fed and fine, and everything else feels right. What can I say?

L.

[karuna]

Mymarliegirl: Where do you find goat's milk? Do you have to boil it or anything, or do you just buy it pasteurized, or give it raw?

I have a chronic illness and cannot bf all night, so we supplement at night so dp can feed our 7m.o. babe. It's so refreshing to hear support for those of us for whom our bodies or babies are not able to cooperate with our desire to bf! I've posted for advice in the BFing forum as well, got some support but also some guilt and misunderstanding.

Anyway, I think my dd is not totally doing well with the 10-12 oz of Similac (with the RHA stuff) and I think we should find another option. I REALLY like the goat's milk idea, but money is a HUGE issue. Food stamps and WIC pays for all our food and formula needs. I know WIC wouldn't cover goat's milk instead of formula, but if it's available in regular supermarkets, then food stamps would cover it.

[mymarliegirl]

Karuna,
The goats milk from the store comes pastuerized and ready to drink. Its sold in the milk section in quarts and 1/2 gallons, looks just like cows milk. Unfortunately it is expensive and around here we can only find it at co-ops and Whole Foods. I'm in the process of contacting a local farmer to see if we can buy direct from him (we're in Wisconsin after all!). Maybe the stores near you carry it--you could request it. Good luck!! It's really worked great for us

[budgiemama]

It's been great to read through this thread - so tired of having to explain why my ds was not bf past 4mos (he is 2), and tired of feeling guilty & defensive about it. It's nice to know so many of us are in teh same boat, if for varying reasons; mine happens to be the critical need for medication that is not compatible with bf. i decided to take my chances on formula as obviously could not pump either, rather than run the risk of troubles down the line from exposing him to my medication. it still breaks my heart that i didn't nurse him to this day. otoh he is a sturdy, incredibly healthy, loving, cuddly boy so something must have gone right.

as for the dha/ara issue, i would agree that at the very least they increase cost out of proportion to any possible benefit, and that they are unproven as far as risks/benefits. re: goats milk as mymarliegirl wrote, should be supplemented with multivitamin containing iron, B12 and folic acid otherwise pretty significant risk of anemia.

thanks for being here.

[elsjpo]

couldn't bf

Hi.
My baby is 14mo old. Last May when I had her I tried desperately to bf. My midwife helped me, my sister (who was my doula) helped, the LC's in the hospital helped, I tried my Bradley teacher, and LLL finally a paid LC. All to no end!!!!! Apparenly I have none elastic/compressing tissue around my nipples so I may never be able to bf. sigh.. I tried diligently for 3 months... every 2 hours - we laid naked in bed all day... sigh... I was sad....
I pumped every 2 hours, 24hrs a day for exactly 6-months... I would have gone longer but I was exhausted, trying to work at home & my supply was dwindling.... I felt like such a bad mom when I stopped!!!!!
On the plus side, Cady was 5lb 9oz when born - at 6months she was 22lbs!!!! Now at 14months she's a happy healthy 31lb 33" kid!!! Never been sick (well, 2 colds but no biggie)!!!!

jeannette

[myboyz]

I was just saying to a friend today that it is hard to find the right fit. I would say I do a lot of AP stuff so I like to chat with others but feel uncomfortable around the Bfing issue. It is like no one understands and I have to either hide something or really explain myself.

My first was Hospitalized at 4 days old for 5 days. They thought it was menigitis..but it was dehydration. I stuck with it for a long 2 weeks with no support and my dad in the hospital 2 times....Oh yeah I forgot where I was ...I do not have to explain!!!! I am sad I had stopped but at the time it was the best thing for me and that was the very day I started really becoming attached to my child!!! My DH was totally against me even thinking about it with #2 but I did. It was hard on all the family as we were really worried and we needed to be as #2 was soooo hungray all the time and colicky. I pushed and made it through many more rough spots. I started a "night time bottle" which really helped. The LLL said that would be the beginning of the end. WRONG! I thought I would have to pick one way or the other......I didn't. I was able to BF with just one bottle of Form. a day for 6 months. A lot better then nothing. I put my family through a lot to do this too. AND a lot better then the 1st Like gurumama said about educating from the first and learning for the second. Something like that. That is why I HATE the crap I get. I am learning and growing. I would think out all the people, Ap folks would care as we all hate explaining our ways and being judged. By some trashing us really turns us away when really we need support too and have a lot to offer them. How do they know they aren't turning away a person that could help them with other areas. Like Laurel say something about maybe we can give something they can not. I really believe you can not judge other unless you walk in their shoes! Still then if a person disagrees, then educate or support not slam or insult! My thinking is we all are practicing Ap to be loving people for one. How are they being loving and role modeling is the most important way! I am getting tried!!!

Can ya tell in my writing!!!

Anyhow...My ds is almost 10months and nursing just a little. For about 2 months he has been biting, pulling, arching his back and refussing. It is so sad to see. My dh says it is time to quit as it is stressful for everyone. I am mixed up at first many told me he was weaning but I feel I should feel so lucky I can do it a little and many ( just lately... almost too late) tell me he is not self weaning. My family says give it up and when I post they say stick it out. I know it is best nutritional but is it right to force him and also put off my other child as I have to go into another room (baby gets distracted and the other one gets upset seeing the baby cry. Any suggestions???

Thanks so much for this chance to Talk! I really helps to get it off my chest!

[girlzmommy00]

On the solids question, I have a unique experience because DS has oral aversion due to surgeries. He didn't eat any pureed foods until 11 months and still eats practically nothing, although he is starting to taste some table foods now at 13 months. I often worry about vitamins and such but my ped assures me that the regular infant formula does have everything he needs. He just needs a LOT of it now.

My middle dd was on formula only (a prescription amino acid based brand) until she was 2 1/2. She had extreme digestive and allergy issues where she couldn't consume anything else. She will be 5 in 2 weeks. Her growth was never an issue but she is a picky eater now. I can't tell if it's just her nature or the late start of solids. But either way, she is very healthy and growing strong.

I have girls who had extreme digestive and allergy issues (still have a ton of allergy issues now). It is rare but babies can be allergic to breastmilk, as mine were. They ended up on Neocate (it's an amino acid based prescription formula at $45 a can) since they were also allergic to milk based, soy based and hypoallergenic formulas, among other things.

I have received nasty comments from people who saw my daughters drinking out of a bottle. I coldly informed them that they had medical problems and I was happy that they were able to consume anything at all. You never know why someone's baby is using a bottle or even what is in the bottle. I wish people would realize it's stupid to try to comment on things that they know nothing about.

[ktmama]

Dear, dear mamas. Thank you all for your posts and your heart felt stories of struggles with nursing and decisions/choices/reluctance to ff. I, too, have been guilty of judging ff, a total projection of my own judgements on myself for almost going that route. Fortunately, my dd latched on at 6 months after using an artificial nipple (anyone seen these silicon sombraros?). I was just on the verge of giving up with sore, sore bleeding nipples, etc...

At the same time, I know that we live in a culture that ABSOLUTELY does not support bf and glorifies ff, so I strive to change that. Not here, of course .


I just want to encourage lactating moms out there to donate to your locale milk bank. I did when my dd was nursing and it's the best thing I've ever donated - far more valuable than money! You can see by reading these posts the impact it could have on a family!

[KellyK]

I just wanted to tell you that I think you are all wonderful and brave mothers! Some of your stories are heartbreaking, but I am glad I read them. I am definitely going to donate if I can find anyone over here who needs it.

[Stevie]

"If you used donated milk, how did it come about? If you didn't, why not?"

Just another thank you for starting this thread; I attempted adoptive bfing, but didn't last nearly as long as you did. Only 5 weeks.

As to the above ?: I am using donated milk, but I don't know how people get enough to feed a full supply. I mentioned it to a friend whose baby was born 9 weeks before my DD and she just told me that her milk would never be "right" for my DD as milk changes for the particular baby blahblahblah... I felt like saying "just tell me that you don't want to do it; I'm sure the cows aren't in the correct line with the moon either" but I didn't. This time around there was a neighbor who had her little boy 4 months after my DS was born and she found herself with a regular extra 4-8 oz. a day from pumping at work. She drops off this extra 5 days a week, so DS does get some immunities from her donation. And he loves his donated milk! His eyes just shine when he's got THAT bottle I think there was one time when she must have eaten something that didn't agree with him. He kept pushing the bottle away; I just mixed it with formula and he ate it fine I'll tell you one thing; I never waste a drop of that liquid gold... what a great mommy my friend is

BTW, DD was exclusively ff, but has been drinking goat's milk since weaning from the bottle at 13 months.

[Stevie]

Mymarliegirl

"I'm in the process of contacting a local farmer to see if we can buy direct from him (we're in Wisconsin after all!"

Hi; just wanted to let you know that I am in S. WI as well; Janesville. It's nice to see another local girl here I hadn't thought about goat's milk for the baby; DD has been drinking it since she weaned from the bottle at 13 months. I have an excellent children's vitamin and he eats organic brown rice cereal; I'm wondering if I could switch him to goat's milk as well? He's eating baby's only organic formula now... what do you think?

[MA mommy]

(((hugs))) I have an AP friend that was not able to breastfeed as long as she wanted to. I think this tribe will be a wonderful source of support for her.

[littleaugustbaby]

I'm so glad to have found all of you ladies. I haven't had a chance to read all of your stories yet, but I'm getting there. It's so important to be able to get your story out and feel heard and respected.

I'll share my story later when I have more time, but for right now I just wanted to say hello and offer some and a for all of you.