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Funny nursing stories

post #1 of 47
Thread Starter 
I have so enjoyed reading the humorous stories from you ladies that I'd like to start a thread of just funny nursing stories! I thought of this today while nursing Andrew. I have an EXTREMELY fast letdown and today he was smiling and playing while he ate and when he pulled off to smile at me my milk kept spraying and shot my DH in the eye : !

I almost wet my pants laughing, Andrew was smiling because I was laughing and poor Sean didn't know what hit him. It makes you wish you could rewind life and see some things again....
post #2 of 47
let's see....my dd is recently weaned, she nursed for 3 years9 months

I remember her squeezing my breasts together and trying to nurse on both of them at the same time.

She'd grab my breast, point it at me and ask if I wanted some (I declinded )

And I remember leaning over her to buckle her carseat and she told me "you have cute boobs, mom!"

Gotta love the extended nursers!

Sarah
post #3 of 47
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamatoady

She'd grab my breast, point it at me and ask if I wanted some (I declinded )

Sarah
Hey, at least you taught her to share
post #4 of 47
I remember when dd1 was just a few weeks old. I was sitting on the couch nursing her. When I wasn't looking at her, she pulled off and starting a little squirmy thing. I look at her and SHE is being squirted in the eye with a steady stream of milk. She was blinking furiously and looking at me like, "Could you shut that thing off?"

This one isn't funny, but sweet. When I was pg with ds, I was really upset one day and crying while laying in bed. Dd1 pushes my breast up in my face and said, "Nurse mommy, feel better." I always think about that one when I hear that people are stopping nursing before a year - I would hate to have missed out on that.
post #5 of 47
I hesitate to tell this story, because it does involve bottles, but it's funny so I'll go ahead. My older daughter (2 yrs old) has motor planning problems and literally never figured out how to nurse, despite many lactation consultations, so I finally started just eping her. I did that for six months until it was a choice between getting my milk and letting her cry or formula and attention during all the pumping time. She still uses bottles for comfort, at nap and bedtime, of milk.

My younger daughter is nursing still at 14 months. (And I express about a bottle of milk a day for my 2 yr old.) That's the background.

We're making the four hour drive from Houston to San Antonio at night and the 2 yr old is getting bored. She starts screaming bloody murder, so I pull out a bottle for her. She drinks it and then begins screaming again that she wants more milk. My husband say, "We dont have anymore." I'm like, "Yes, we do. Anna, give me your bottle." So we're driving down the interstate at 75 miles an hour, with Anna screaming, and I'm hand expressing milk into a bottle. Periodically I miss (aim not that great hand expressing in a moving vehicle) and a streak of milk will go across the windshield or the dashboard. It looked like we murdered Casper the Friendly Ghost. But, I did get a full 8 ounces and Anna fell asleep drinking that bottle!
post #6 of 47
Subbing. I amalways spraying poor DS with milk. When he pops off to look around, he gets it in the ear or chin.
post #7 of 47
My 2 1/2 year old is learning to count- the other day he points to my breast and says "mommy's breast! 1 breast."

He then points to the other breast, and says "2 breast!"

He then goes on to say "3 breast, 4 breast, 5 breast, 6 breast!"

My dh overhears this and quips,"Are you ready to nurse a whole litter?"

Siobhan
post #8 of 47
oh my....
just the other day i was in a van with some friends&kids- we were stopped so i decided to nurse dd- as i was getting my breast out - and trying to be discreet i shot a lady( pg for fiorst time) in the face- big time- we both just pretended nothing happened.,.....
what is the ettiquitte there? i hope she still bfs!!!
post #9 of 47
My son was nursing on one side and reached over and grabbed my other nipple and turned it towards me and squirted me! Little toady lol...
post #10 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by Terabith
Periodically I miss (aim not that great hand expressing in a moving vehicle) and a streak of milk will go across the windshield or the dashboard. It looked like we murdered Casper the Friendly Ghost.
post #11 of 47
When Rain was 2, we went out for doughnuts one evening and she struck up a conversation with an older woman. At one point the woman asked her, "Do you go to nursery school?" Rain looked at her and laughed and said, "Oh, no, Teacher Mary doesn't nurse me at school... only my mom does that."

I so cracked up, but I don't think the woman really understood what she was saying, but I had tears running down my cheeks.

dar
post #12 of 47
About 2 weeks ago I took the boys to the library. We were down in the kid's area when DS2 woke up and decided it was time to eat or else. The bad thing about our library's kid's area is that it is decorated just for kids, ther are no chairs or benches adult sized. So as I'm trying to find somewhere that I can sit and feed him that isn't too small for my butt to fit he started really wailing. DS1 looked at me like I was an idiot and informed me "Baby wants to drink booby milk!" in his loudest voice. If evryone wasn't already staring at me there sure were after his announcement.
post #13 of 47
My dd (nearly 2) has a lot of funny bits these days-

she likes to nuzzle the boobs... while of course saying- "NUZZLE BOOBS!"

She's very polite these days. One morning she was having her wake- up nursing session (which is mostly entirely asleep ) so she's nursing, eyes closed, appears to be asleep... I sneeze- she pulls off and says "bless you" then goes back to nursing- eyes still closed.... :

-Angela
post #14 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dar
When Rain was 2, we went out for doughnuts one evening and she struck up a conversation with an older woman. At one point the woman asked her, "Do you go to nursery school?" Rain looked at her and laughed and said, "Oh, no, Teacher Mary doesn't nurse me at school... only my mom does that."

I so cracked up, but I don't think the woman really understood what she was saying, but I had tears running down my cheeks.

dar
: LOL - that one is TOO funny!!!!!
post #15 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by lillake
About 2 weeks ago I took the boys to the library. We were down in the kid's area when DS2 woke up and decided it was time to eat or else. The bad thing about our library's kid's area is that it is decorated just for kids, ther are no chairs or benches adult sized. So as I'm trying to find somewhere that I can sit and feed him that isn't too small for my butt to fit he started really wailing. DS1 looked at me like I was an idiot and informed me "Baby wants to drink booby milk!" in his loudest voice. If evryone wasn't already staring at me there sure were after his announcement.
Oh that's so beautiful and priceless!
post #16 of 47
My son nursed until he was 37 months old. He weaned while pg with his sister. I was still nursing her when this incident occured (I think he was nearly 4). He went to his class during church service one day and when we picked him up, the preschool coordinator was telling me about the boys and how they played that day. She said they decided to play with the kitchen toys and the baby dolls. They all had a doll and ds decided his baby was hungry so he lifted his shirt and fed his baby ~ and so did all the other boys! I thought it was hilarious, but I bet I was the only parent that story was shared with as it was a pretty mainstream church.
post #17 of 47
DH, DD and I went to a restaurant and were greeted by our server, who was quite taken with DD. He kept tickling her chin and generally trying to entertain her. She likes boys, anyway, so she would smile whenever he came over. Well, at one point, she decided to nurse. I don't use a blanket because I am discreet. Our server came over to bring us our soup and he reached down to tickle DD's chin. She popped off and turned her head to smile. Still, you couldn't see nipple or anything. Then, she turned her head and latched on again. It was then that the server realized what was going on and realized he was about half an inch from touching my breast. He said, "Oh my G-d! I am so sorry! I'm sorry!" Then he literally ran away.

DH and I just about fell over laughing.
post #18 of 47
when my ds was 4 or 5 months old we were visiting some friends. i was nursing him and looked over to see my friends' niece who was 6, sitting next to me nursing her babydoll facedown on her forearm!
post #19 of 47
These are great... I can't think well enough right now to add one.... but it would be awesome to get a great compilation going for Readers Digest (and any other mag that takes submissions) Maybe they could print them out for world breastfeeding week.

Jessica
post #20 of 47
OMG - my eyes are tearing & I had to hold back my so I don't wake ds behind me. Thanks for sharing!

Sus
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