can I put no-vax in my will?

[Shelsi]

Everytime dh deploys we have to update our wills. We've decided that my MIL & FIL will become ds's guardians should anything happen to both dh and myself. Can I put in the will that I do not wish him to have any vaccines until he is old enough to decide for himself?

Regardless I think they will respect that decision but I am wondering if it can be on paper too? They're pretty cool in-laws and respect that I research all my decisions and seem to understand that what I do is in the best interest of ds. That being said I am also sure they have done no research on vaxing so they could possibly be easily swayed by a doctor if they became ds's guradians.

One a side note, this is really a moot point because dh left a few months ago. But we could change it when he gets back.

[~member~]

Yes. I have that in my living will. Although, I don't think I need to worry, as none of my family vaccinates, but I put it in 'just in case'.

[Momtezuma Tuatara]

You can put it in, but it can be overuled, both in fact, and in a court of law.

[nathansmum]

Originally Posted by Momtezuma Tuatara

You can put it in, but it can be overuled, both in fact, and in a court of law.

Hmmmm, I've been thinking about doing this recently as well. I take it that goes for NZ too? :

[Momtezuma Tuatara]

Yes. There have been cases here, and where the dissenting partner brings in the Nikki Turner's of the world, the judges clip their heels together and say "Yes ma'am, kiddo will be shot up immediately." All medical care is then handed over to the state in loco parentis, and the other parent or guardians simply become bottom wiper. Once you've been in court, things can get tough.

It also happens in custody cases too, where if the parent that has the child is non-vaccinating, the other one who wants control will use that as a lever in court to prove negligent parenting, and have the kid either removed, or forcibly vaccinated. Works every time.

[jojospok23]

I'd thought about this issue myself, and the fact that it can be used against you was the main reason that I haven't had it put down on paper. DH is not fit to be a father, but he could still use it to try and get the baby if I died, so we've just done it verbally with the god parents, who of course i trust.

[Shelsi]

Yeah I'll be sure to talk to my in-laws. They're visiting me in a few weeks so maybe I'll get to talk about it then. I know my parents would have ds fully vaccinated immediately...but then they think I am "weird" in my parenting lol. They don't argue with me but I know they would do things differently.

I've actually been trying to leave links and books in places where dh can find them in case something were to happen to me. He doesn't know anything about vaccinating or not. He just lets me do all the research and goes along with it saying he trusts me to make a good decision (good in some ways but bad in that I feel it puts all the responsibility on me).

[HeatherHeather]

I know that your wishes about vaxes can be ignored after you die even if it is in your will to not vax. However, I don't think it hurts to spell out your wishes in black and white and formally in a will. It might make your otherwise easily swayed gaurdian think twice.

On a slightly different note, does anyone know if you can limit your estate from passing to a gaurdian if they vax? In other words, can you make your finances unaccessable to a gaurdian who vaxes? I know you can't keep them from vaxing a child, but I do think you could keep them from getting your estate if you do.

[Deborah]

My daughter and son-in-law put me in the will as future care-giver for the kids if something (god forbid) should happen to both of them. They chose me because my parenting/childraising style is closer to theirs. No TV, no vaxes, natural/organic foods, waldorf education. My son-in-law loves and respects his parents but he could not depend on them to do all of the above. Another factor is that I'm younger than either of them by a few years...

I guess the point is that you may be able to shop around and choose/appoint someone as guardian who will be closer to your overall values.
Deborah