Originally Posted by Nora'sMama
At 14 months you think she wants to do the socially acceptable thing? My DD doesn't even know what that is!
I appreciate the explanations re the sockets (good to know they're not as dangerous as I thought!) and the cigarette butts.
I think the "what ifs" are really the only way to establish the parameters of an idea, so I'm sorry if they are tiring, but how else are we supposed to discuss the issues?
When my DS spotted a cigarette butt and was interested, I would squat down and get interested with him. Say something along the lines of, "Oh, a cigarette butt. That should be in the trash. But if we touch it we might get sick. Let's use this paper to pick it up." (scrap paper=whatever old receipt I have in my pocket )
I'd pick the butt up with the paper, put it in the trash. Next time we saw one and he'd get interested, I'd hand him a paper. (He'd pick it up as best he could. I'd pick him up so he could reach the trash can.) If I didn't have a piece of scrap paper at the time, I'd tell him that I didn't and pick it up and then wash my hands, or pick it up with a stick, or something that would not only allow for but actively facilitate his interest in that.
Here's the philosophical difference: I don't need to prevent him from doing things that would get him hurt [e.g., "no, don't touch"]. I need to show him how to do the things he wants to do safely. We're on the same team. So far, he accepts this. He may not always (he's only 18 months.) I get that.
He always seems interested in doing the socially acceptable thing. When it comes to something like sharing with other toddlers, sometimes that desire gets trumped by a need for a toy, of course. But even then the results are always better if I come from the assumption that he actually wants a solution that helps everyone. Just tonight, he was playing with two other toddlers and I saw this happen. I don't want to blather on too much, though, so I'll leave that story to another time.
Originally Posted by aira
Perhaps it's the personality, but DS has never accepted anything less that being treated like a competent human who can use tools correctly, and who moves about the world like other humans. He's very sensitive to it and lets me know fast if I ever condescend to him. It's been this way from birth, I swear.
ETA: quote correction!