Originally Posted by captain crunchy
I do sympathize with you thismama, I don't pretend to understand completely the circumstances of raising your daughter, her individual personality, her age etc... and I hope you don't think I was speaking of you directly in my post. I have read some of your posts and you strive to be gentle with your daughter and you have sought help here -- I can respect that. I don't expect everyone to do as we do, I just was asking that people actually know what it is and accept the definition of consensual living from people who live it instead of writing it off as "wow, you didn't take a crap for 5 days because your kid didn't want you to" (of course that has never happened LOL), which conveniently makes it easy to dismiss as a whole.
It was really good to see your philosophy written out so clearly. Half the time I have no idea what I'm even aiming for, other than a feeling, yk? I've seen mainstream punitive discipline and I dont' want to do that, and then I've read about and seen forms of interaction that I consider to be too much about martyring one's own agenda for the child, and I don't want to do that either.
Consensual living as you describe it fits what I have been feeling as an ideal, and it embodies a lot of common sense.
It's just not always that easy for me to put it into practice, at least since the little bugger hit 2. Getting easier again now, that thread here awhile back was a big turning point for me.