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When would you consult with a fertile specialist

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
I am having such a hard time dealing with not being preggo yet.

I am soon to be 34 yrs old and I hoped to be pregnant by now I am only on my 4th cycle including a very early m/c in Dec.
I have talked to my doctor and I am scheduled for a consultation on Tuesday, but am I moving to fast? I want to have a least a couple of more kids. I am so confused and consumed by ttc.
Any advice would be great.

Why is the 2ww so damn unbearable. I am feeling so blue today
post #2 of 21
I waited until I had been trying for a year and then I made an appointment. But when you feel like you should go is when you should talk to a doc. Good luck!!!!
post #3 of 21
I'd say it depends on how fast you want to be pg. I just got pg, after 3 months, but I was ready to go back to the doctor to look for any problems, I want another baby before my son is much older......
I'd want to know if there were any problems due to age or whatever, but I think you're still young enough!! (same age as me :LOL)

post #4 of 21
If you want to go, then why not??

I would say to go straight to a reproductive endocrinologist, they are the gold standard of fertility care. I wouldn't waste my time with an OB GYN that says he is a fertility specialist.

We waited a long time to go, because we didn't have coverage.
post #5 of 21
Thread Starter 
Thanks for your replys.

The reason why I am second guessing myself is because I have talked to people outside of the cyber world and am having a tough time finding support.

Thank god for this site

Me and dh have bd everyday this month so I hope this is the month
post #6 of 21
many people try kind of randomly...since you know how precise your attempts have been, plus the m/s, and your age...I would go to an RE now in your position. Docs that won't help you until after 2-3 m/c or 1yr+ trying are ridiculous...
post #7 of 21
Dancing girl. I say it can't hurt to get serious about things now. Tell your docs you don't want to waste cycles if you can help it. Good luck!
post #8 of 21
I think it's a good idea to get checked out as soon as you feel there may be a problem. If the tests show everything's fine, then that gets some worries off your mind!

My only caution is to make sure the dr. knows you are there to be checked out, not to get pumped full of drugs immediately. Too many of them, esp. REs, are overzealous w/drugs, often before they've done the tests they really should do. Focus on finding out what, if anything, is wrong before you consider treatment.

Good luck!
post #9 of 21

I am soon to be 34 too -- less than 2 weeks away! I have also been trying for about the same amount of time as you and the monthly *failure* just gets more difficult each time. I am giving it one last cycle and then I'm going to see the doc to run some tests. I think whenever you feel you need to see a doctor is when you should go. Go now if you think it would help you. Best wishes to you.
post #10 of 21
The rule of thumb in the medical community is to wait one year if under the age of 35, and 6 months if over 35. I was 33 when I started trying for my third child and I got "the brush off" from my OB/GYN when I suggested there may be a problem after 4 months of ttc. I decided to head to a Reproductive Endocrinologist after 6 months and am SO GLAD I DID. I found out that I have endometriosis and egg fertilization problems due to age (I am 35). I have been trying with holistic and conventional treatment for 2.5 years (and have had two pregnancy losses). I felt there was a problem very early on and I followed my intincts -- all women should listen to themselves, we happen to be more familiar with our bodies than our doctors after all! Forget the 1 year rule and get the necessary tests done, to either ease your mind or heal the problem. I agree with an earlier poster, an OB/GYN is not as well trained in diagnosing problems with hormone levels nor reproductive problems in general -- they spend most of their practice handing out birth control and treating infections. Go to an RE to get adequate care.

More than likely there isn't a problem but it is worth every cent spent on testing to rest assured and not have to worry over the next several months on top of the emotional ride of ttc.

Blessings to you! -Caroline
post #11 of 21
Just an off thought after reading your post - my understanding is that BD every day lowers sperm count and is actually a bad idea if you are TTC. Since sperm live 48+ hours after you BD, you can get the maximum sperm count and still hit the right time with BD every other day during your fertile time.
I know it took me 5 months to conceive in my early 30s (where it was 1st month in my 20s) so I wouldn't worry too much but if a voice inside you says to go in, I would.
post #12 of 21
Thread Starter 
I have read just recently that having sex everday does not decrease the sperm count. I do not know how true that is but I did read that that is a myth. Has anyone else ever heard that?

Again thank you everyone

Hope all this babydust around here finds it way to me
post #13 of 21
I would be interested in reading that if you find it. My experience was that DH had normal counts but we were in fertility treatment for me...every day the counts were markedly lower...every 2-3 days was ideal. More than that, motility was down. We were using a gender selection technique so sperm maximization weas very important - they gave us very certain cutoffs, and would sometimes alter the suggestion based on the counts, but I never heard of them suggesting every day.

When I conceived naturally I did every other day around O time, and the day of O. So on day it might be two days in a row, but not generally.
post #14 of 21
Thread Starter 
To maximise your chances you need to make love every couple of days. Despite the myths there is no risk that the man will 'run out' of sperm - quite the opposite as some men have a drop in their sperm count if they don't ejaculate regularly.

Here is the website

Let me know what you think

post #15 of 21
"To maximise your chances you need to make love every couple of days. Despite the myths there is no risk that the man will 'run out' of sperm - quite the opposite as some men have a drop in their sperm count if they don't ejaculate regularly."

True. But these are not mutually exclusive...notice they don't say every day.. There still will be sperm...both if you wait too long and if you go every day. Every 2-3 days is just optimal for most men, the quality and quantity is highest. What is a myth is that men have some set amount...it does constantly regenerate...like breast milk...but sometimes demand is more than supply, yk? If you skip a feeding/ejaculating, you have more. You wait to long, you dry up. Some people did used to think men only had so much in a lifetime...like women's eggs.
post #16 of 21
Thread Starter 
I know there was somewhere in that article that it said having sex everyday would not hurt the sperm count.
I am just trying to do everything I can to get preggo.
I do need to get TCYOF because I am not getting this down at all.:
How sad is that being a women and not knowing anything about about your body.

So if I am ovulating this pm and we did the bd this am is that good? Or should we do the bd tomorrow am?
post #17 of 21
did you yesterday? If not, I would tomorrow am... and then again in 48hrs. But that's just me...
post #18 of 21
Thread Starter 
post #19 of 21
TCOYF states that every other day is only necessary if your dh has some factors with his count. The month I got pregnant (with clomid) was the month we had sex every day for all my EWCM days.

Also, before YOU get anything done, your partner should get a sperm analysis. For gosh sakes, his test is an orgasm, ours involve needles or speculums!
post #20 of 21
To answer your first question:
At age 34, I would consult an RE around 6 months after ttc. If you don't temp, I would start NOW because often, they would like to see your temperature profile during 2-3 cycles.

For your second question: Yes, a study released eariler in July from Spain showed that while the VOLUME of ejaculate was lower in men with low sperm counts if they ejaculated every day, the amount of sperm either stayed the same or increased. The longer then men waited, the more likely that the sperm released in the ejaculate would be dead.

This was true for men with low sperm counts.

It's ok to have sex every day or every other day during your fertile period. I've tried both. (and neither worked : )
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