Full-term and NICU - Page 2

[lamok]

I had a nicu because of white blood cell count - wasn't really that horrible, but was completely unnecesary. Was gbs pos. water broke as he came out, most alert newborn I've ever had, had antibiotics more than 4 hours before he was born. Anyway, my next child, I was gbs pos. too. Water broke a couple min. before born, no chance to get antibiotics. We refused everything - no pokes whatsover, even though it was against the law. And we were released early with everyones good will. The difference wasn't just in the hosp., but in that my cnm for the first one had an ob for the required backup dr., my second had a family dr. for the backup dr., so she could make the ped. calls. Also, different hosp. are more likely to pull the cps card than others.

[mama kate]

Oh wow! I am sooo glad I found this thread. My DD was a full term NICU baby who was born GBS+ (I had been tested & was negative) WE had a very long 2 week NICU stay which I stilll after a little over 2 years have a hard time coping with. We never established a good nursing relationship but I pumped for 5 months. THen started havingg PPD issues related to it & had to stop - It was better after that but I still grieve never really nursing her peacefully. She's a bouncing, full of life toddler who we cherish ever moment with. THe NICU was a blessed yet miserable place to be. She was born at Childrens in San Antonio



Here is our birth/NICUstory

Emma Lucille was born on July 27th via emergency c-section.
Then spent the next 10 days in the NICU but we are finally home. Ugh! Our birth went NOTHING as planned but we now have our healthy baby girl with us at home & couldn't be happier.
I had more than prepared myself with my training as a labor doula & the reading & births I had attended. I felt prepared that my body would do what it needed to do. That any pain I felt would only be a moment in the long life I had ahead with my long awaited baby girl. I could handle that. My pregnancy had been uneventful with just a bit of high blood pressure starting at @32 weeks which I was able to maintain with putting my feet up & drinking lots of water as much as I can.
I went in tuesday at 6 am for an induction after my blood pressure had risen again at my app't on Monday ( 40 weeks 2 days) They started pitocin at 6:30 am -I labored fine unmedicated until about 5 pm I was given nubain -when she turned posterior & the only position I was ok in (sitting indian style on the bed or rocking in the chair) she showed decels in her heart rate. At 6:30 I asked for more nubain. My OB said no with the baby showing signs of distress, At 7:30 I was given an epidural which I sobbed through the entire thing - not for pain reasons but for feeling like I failed her. I had prepared to bring her in to the world the best way I could at the time (HB midwives in the area we lived in were pretty iffy)My husband had to leave the room because he couldn't bear to see me like that. During the epidural placement the kept loosing track of her heart beat so the nurse literally begged me to put an internal monitor on her - I finally relented , too tired & scared for my baby to fight. She put it in & Emma's heart rate was fluctuating from the 80's to 130 - The nurse had someone else come & check placement of the monitor & it was in correctly - Minutes later she dropped in to the 40's & all hell broke loose - Within seconds about 10 people were in the room - the nurse yelled for me to quickly get on my hands & knees (which I did very quickly somehow)& she was paging my OB out of another c-sec he was assisting in. I became very scared once she told me to get into hands/knees position. My ob came in & said we had to do a c-sec - the last few things I remember is being ran down the hall asking my OB if the baby was going to be ok all he would say is we need to get her out.I had built a very comfortable,trusting, open relationship with my OB as he had gone through our 2 years of infertility with us- I knew he wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't totally necessary(his wife is actually a doula). after that its a bit hazy for me - Ian has filled me in as much as possible. Emma was born with apgars of 8 & 9 & seemed ok - Ian brought her to my side & I remember saying over & over "tell someone she sounds funny - she doesn't sound right - the nurses said it was normal for section babies to be a bit gurgly -in hindsight it must have been my intuition - we were in recovery for 2 hours then when we went to our room they took emma to the nursery & told Ian to come get her in an hour.
Ian went to get her in an hour as he knew how badly I needed & wanted to nurse her & see her. I had tried holding her in recovery but couldn't due to having the shakes so bad.
When Ian went to get her she was gone. They had taken her to the NICU. Well when ian went to
get her he was told she had been taken to the NICU because her oxygen saturation
was low - Normal for c-sec babies, blood work was done & we (Ian) was told her
white count was low & another was high - Our pediatrician was called & told Ian
that it could be because of infection or
stress but he wanted to treat it as an infection just to be safe - More blood
work was done & she came back group strep positive. I finally was able to get
out of bed around 6 am to go see her - I tried at 1 am & couldn't get out of bed
(more tears & anger - I wanted my baby) Wednesday was filled with tears & fear
once we were told about the group b strep, she had to have a spinal tap that day
& that really threw me. It came back clear though.
She spent the next 9 days in the NICU in an oxygen hood for 2 days, with an IV
in her head for the whole time (poor thing) & several days she had a nasal
feeding tube. I was with her as much as possible during all visiting hours.

She is thriving now - We are working on nursing & I am trying to pump when she
won't nurse so I can cut out the formula. she is a great sleeper though.

I feel happy things turned out as well as they did & her pediatrician was sooo
fantastic. He was there everyday to see her. If anyone is in San Antonio, TX &
needs a ped. LMK.

I am sad I didn't get the birth I had hoped for but I feel blessed to have this
angel in our lives - Ian says it will only make us better parents - I hope so.

I am still working through everything, trying to stay positive but some moments
are hard ecspecially when I have to break down & give her formula because she is
freaking out hungry - I can't let her starve & she needs the calories one way or
another for energy to fully heal from everything. I so want us to have a
positive nursing relationship but I can't do it if she is miserable. Any advice
& insight is greatly appreciated.

[babycarrier]

Thank you everyone for sharing so much. This stuff is eating me up this weekend. One year birthday tomorrow! woohoo!!!!
Nobody in my life gets it. But nobody in my life was in it with me. That was just me and my Jack.
Wanted to post but don't have the emotional stamina for more. off to make this birthday party something special!