baby blues or ppd?

[CalebsMama05]

with ds#1 I had baby blues. when he was about 14 days old I started crying..and I cried and worried for four days. I was a basket case. when he was 18 days old that was it I was back to normal.

with ds#2 I never had that...I just feel so angry and upset all the time. no matter what I do its not good enough. I can't take care of both of my boys I feel like a horrible mother. they are always crying and I have yelled more than once that Jacob (not yet 3 wks old) should shut up or go away and once I asked him why he was born and then I started crying.

I hate feeling like this...I don't know what's wrong with me. I am going to talk to my dr about it at my appt but I'm ashamed to admit that I actually feel this way towards my own child.

[CalebsMama05]

just thought i'd update. I made sure to drink more water and get more rest and things seem to be settling down. I have my moments when I just cry adn when I feel like things are never goign to get any better but i don't have visions of us all dying (for instance when we go across RR tracks I will have a 3 second video in my head of a train coming and smashing us all to smithereens.)

it is still really hard on me emotionally to deal with both of htem with no help whatsoever. I am not sure if i'm just having a *good* day or if it was just baby blues or what.

[vanessab23]

Hugs to you mama!
Sounds like you are having a hard time adjusting. I hope for your sake it was just the blues and have now passed. I hope it's not just a good day.
BUT if it was and you feel worse again-- PLEASE know that you are not alone.

I had similar feelings, but am ALL BETTER NOW-- but not due to the passing of time, but thanks to Zoloft. But that's just me, i don't mean to suggest that you need meds.

Keep taking care of yourself-- eat well, lots of water, vitamins (espcially iron in your diet) and sleep when you can. Sounds like that may be the hardest one, but know that you are doing the best you can for your little ones.

Love, Vanessa

p.s. keep us updated mama! hugs....

[CalebsMama05]

figured i'd come back and update. I still have the awful feelings a lot. I have good days but they are outnumbered by the bad ones. (1-2 good and then 3-4 bad ones) I feel like such a loser and a horrible mom. I feel kind of like i'm drowning and everyone around me is just standing around saying "you got yourself in you can get yourself out if you try"

ds#2 is a month old today...and I still feel down. I think I'm going to talk to my dr about maybe trying meds...he'll probably suggest that i do therapy but i have personal issues with that idea...well b/cuz of my situation (left at 4mos pg, living w/mom, no support, minimum wage job, dealing with toddler and newborn)

I just hate these feelings and even though I know they don't make me a bad mom i FEEL like they do. and that just makes me feel worse. vicious cycle. now i have to find a daycare for them both.

[Music-mommy]

My dd2 is almost a year and I found it really hard. It's been a difficult year and I have lots of support. So don't feel like a terrible mama. It's HARD! Adjusting to 2 is very hard, and if you have no support even worse. You need to make sure you get as much sleep as humanly possible, and take some EPA (fish oil) Nordic Naturals is the best. Or there's another product called Omegajoy, omega 3s help alot with mood control and ppd. You need to make sure it has at least a 4:1 ratio of EPA to DHA... as does the Nordic naturals product.

[vanessab23]

Jami,
sounds like it's still eating away at you. hugs, mama.
Good idea to talk to your doc, tell him/her your ideas and then take from it whatever you need to. you are still in charge
are there any support groups in your area? it's a great place to start.....
please keep us posted
p.s. check out the "natural remedies" thread.....5-HTP worked for me REALLY well, but only for about a month. there's good info in there.