Do you talk to your husband about your PPD?

[imnotme]

Hi guys, I'm a long time member/lurker to mdc. I'm severly depressed. I've taken the test in the above sticky twice and scored a 77 then an 82. I want to preface this post with the fact that I do not have feelings of hurting myself or my three kids. That is the sunny side and about the only thread I've got left to hang onto, and to focus on. Anyway, I am very uneducated about PPD and what I'm feeling is very new in me. I'm 30, have 3 kids under 5 and really never had more then the baby blues before. This is scary place I'm at now, I've never felt this way. Anyway, my main question tonight is, do you and your husband talk about your PPD? I saw a therapist for the first time today and he never asked about how it went. I talked a bit about her and prices and general info about her, but he never asked questions about what we talked about. Shortly after I got home I had one of my episodes and he hugged me for like a second and told me to just chill out. He didn't say it as harshley as I make it seem when I type it out, but he just said I'm ok and that I need to relax. I want to talk to him and try to explain to him how he can help and what sets me off into a crying fit and tell him things to watch out for, but do I burden him with this? Is this not somehting that other couples do?

[Shelsi]

He's probably giving you space. When my dh went to counseling for depression I never asked him what he talked about either (and usually I am very nosy!). I figured it was private and if there was anything he wanted to talk about with me than he would. I kind of felt he was talking to the therapist because he couldn't say all of it to me and because he needed a neutral non-emotional point of view about his issues. He did end up telling me things here and there and things that he thought would help.

I get the feeling that your dh is just trying to give you your privacy and space. Why don't you bring it up saying that your therapist thought it would be a good idea that you let him know your triggers, etc? It's not burdoning him, it's helping you! I would do anything to help my spouse be happy and not depressed anymore. I am happy and emotionally stable right now so I can take added stress in stride and help him deal with his issues.