if you had ppd with your first, did you have it w/other dc?

[Finch]

I'm terrified of having another child for lots of reasons, but ppd is one of them. I have battled depression and an eating disorder for almost 20 years now, and have been on meds and in counseling for about 6 years now. I had horrible ppd with my son. Awful. Visions of harming my baby awful. To the point that I'm afraid of what might happen if I have another baby.

My therapist swears up and down that I will be fine even if I do get ppd next time around, because I know the signs and am already hooked into a network to get help.

I must be honest, the whole specter of Andrea Yates just looms in the back of my head...I can't help but think, that could have been me...that could have been me. :

[Igraine]

Hi Finch.

I had a very traumatic first birth with both emotional and physical pain. I also had PPD. It was so scarey.

I did decide to have another baby and I was fine! No traumatic birth either! Believe in yourself. If you have the supports in place, you will not repeat history!
Good luck!

[Finch]

Thanks, Igraine. That's the kind of stuff I need to hear.

[Luvmyboyz]

Originally Posted by Igraine

Hi Finch.

I had a very traumatic first birth with both emotional and physical pain. I also had PPD. It was so scarey.

I did decide to have another baby and I was fine! No traumatic birth either! Believe in yourself. If you have the supports in place, you will not repeat history!
Good luck!

Ditto for me. It was a completely different experience the second time around.

[mommyoftwo]

I had a pretty rough case of ppd with my first (not as bad as you are describing) and also have struggled with depression issues throughout my life.

For whatever reason, my second was a piece of cake-a bit of hormonal mood swings but nothing more.

Things that may have changed the outcome the second time around: I had a terrible hospital birth and rough recovery with my first, initial hard time breastfeeding and just the whole perfect mommy complex issue. I just never felt like I was doing anything well enough. The second time around, I had a wonderful, easy birth with a great midwife and a great support network. My dh and midwives knew that ppd was a possibility. I was also just easier on myself and much more relaxed. I wish that were the case the first time- I feel like I missed so much of my dd's babyhood.

Anyway I don't know if any of that played a part or why I had ppd once but not the second time but I wanted to post and say that I did have an easier time.

I understand why you would be afraid to get pregnant again. It sounds like you also have a great support system to lean on. Keep in mind you also know what to look for this time around.

[savannah smiles]

I had bad PPD with my first baby, lasting past the first year. I was worried about it coming back with baby #2 as well *but* my second experience has been so different. My baby is 6 months old and I still feel like I'm on a high or something, lol, and it's been that way since she was born.

[beansavi]

NONE with ds1

HUGE with dd1

LITTLE BIT with ds2

[DreamsInDigital]

I had an awful birth with DS1 and really bad ppd.
I had an okay birth with DS2 and no ppd.
I had a fantastic birth with DS3 and no ppd.

[Finch]

I had what most people would probably classify as a "traumatic" birth. Fetal distress, stat c-section, excessive blood loss, post op infection, horrendous difficulty bfing, etc.. Now, with exception of the bf difficulty, the rest really didn't freak me out, as I delivered where I work (l&d nurse), and was totally comfortable with my docs and my nurses and knew absolutely that the c-section was necessary. Plus the fact that I've done countless stat c/s as a nurse myself, so there was no fear of the unknown for me.

I have already decided any subsequent children will be delivered via repeat c/s.

I guess I did get sucked into that whole perfect mommy thing, too, plus ds was super duper ultra high needs and had colic and reflux and slept like crap, which really contributed to the mess.

[DreamsInDigital]

Things like that absolutely contribute to ppd. Hopefully next time will be easier on you.

[Oonah]

I had bad PPD with my first but no PPD with my second. I did see a counselor during my 2nd pregnancy. I wanted to be prepared. I am so glad I didn't have to deal with PPD the second time!

[Finch]

Originally Posted by DreamsInDigital

Things like that absolutely contribute to ppd. Hopefully next time will be easier on you.

I'm hoping it is. I keep telling myself that if the next kid is high needs and autistic, well, at least we know what to do this time around. :

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I had sever ppd with #1. thankfully tho the ppd I had with #2 was very mild. Almost non-existant really. I did take meds but only for a few months (zoloft) I had to take meds the first time for over 15months. I was worried about it to. It was a big releif to me to know that I could take meds (and bfed) safely.

[coloradoalice]

I had PPD the first time, very traumatic birth after a transfer from a planed homebirth. I was seriously not prepared for things to go the way they did, and it was bad, really bad.

The second time though, I was prepared, I was open to my birth being what it needed to be not what I imagined it would be. It was just fine and no PPD.

I personally feel that for me the key was not having expectations of only one way for the birth to go. That completely set me up for failure the first time. I have been so thankful to not have to experience PPD this time, it's almost like being a mom for the first time again!! I see all the happiness and smiles instead of focusing on the bad.

[jake&zaxmom]

With my first child, everything went pretty smoothly. Relatively easy pregnancy, no delivery horror stories, healthy beautiful baby boy...SO depressed!!! Just absolutely miserable! Horrible experience. Add guilt to that because I had no "reason" to be depressed. I know, I know...

Fast forward to my second child. Multiple problems during pregnancy, gallbladder attack, jaundice, I had to adhere to a strict diet of no more than 5 grams of fat PER DAY!!, our car was totaled by a drunk driver (with me in it!), blood pressure problems, the list goes on. Baby was delivered a bit early by c-section (every bit as healthy and beautiful as the first). I developed a terrible post-op infection. Months of home care nurses coming to pack a wound that you could have fit a softball into. Less help, less sleep, held hostage by the home care nurse's schedule and...absolutely no depression. It was amazing. Totally different experience, totally different reaction.

[mommy2abigail]

Reading this thread has been such an encouragement for me. I am almost in tears. (happy ones!) I had severe ppd with dd (16 months now) and I think I am still a little depressed. I also had a traumatic birth, difficulty bfing, and dd still has not slept for three hours at a time. I was not at all prepared for it to be like this. I had visions of a natural, calm birth at the birth center, that bfing would be totally natural, and that dd would sleep through the night in a few months. Yeah right. I suffered very much after her birth, and I also am worried about next time. I almost didn't allow myself to want more children because the first time ppd was so bad. I still cry when I think about those first 5 months and how hard it was. I never went on medication, b/c I was worried about it interfering with bfing. Plus I am a bit stubborn when it comes to accepting help... It's good to know it may be better next time.

[Igraine]

if you had ppd with your first...

Did I mention I had a very tough time with nursing the first time. (Bleeding, thrush xs3, a reflux and crying/gas problems from my son due to a really intense let down...that took about six weeks to work out!), bleeding cracked nipples... oh the pain!

It is so interesting when I look back at the experience. At the time I knew it was a traumatic birth for my son, but it wasn't until I had my second baby did I realize how traumatic it was for (and my dh). Fetal stress, stuck and rammed his head into my pelvis bone because he had his hand/arm up (apparently he had a question!) and then shot out of me like a bullet once the midwife moved his shoulder around. And the stitches! I think that hurt worse than the birth. Elimination problems for me, poor sleep for weeks and the bfing trials.

My second baby was what everyone talks about as the way birth should be. I did most of the work, labored for a few hours at my mom's home with my son, mother and dh. My son told me to stop being so noisy when I was moaning through my contractions!

She was born with the midwife and my dh (a nurse floating around just in case) less than two hours after we arrived at the hospital.

With my daughter, I had thrush, mastitis, bleeding, cracked nipples... but no PPD! A miracle in my world. My daughter was an excellent nurser, no reflux, or any other problems on her side except the thrush.

Sorry this was so long! I just got going.

[clynnr]

I had PPD with DD1. Birth was what I wanted, but bfing was horribly painful for 8 weeks. I resentfully took meds after 2 weeks, but went off them after four months (I shouldn't have stopped, but it worked okay).

With DD2 I had a perfect birth, except for the labial tear (YOW!!!!) and some hemmoraging. Bfing was great, tandeming not fun, but endurable. Thought I was fine. Four days later...BAM!!! Horrible PPD. I got on meds right away & it made all the difference in the world. I also already had an open door to talk to my friends/family about it, which helped.

Just knowing that we knew the signs & I had lots of people watching for them made us all feel better.

[mama2girls]

I had pretty bad PPD with dd#1. To the point where it took 4 months to get diagnosed and I don't think I fell in love with her until after that. And this baby was perfect. Great sleeper. Fabulous nurser. Even tempered. So why was I depressed? Chemicals and hormones in my body were messed up.

I opted to stay on depression meds through pg with#2. I am convinced that is what made me fall in love with her instantly and deal with her "issues" (not a good nurser/still not a good sleeper, etc.) so much better. I still fight depression, but I had a wonderful babymoon with dd#2.

Good luck to you. You'll make the best decision for you and your family.

[Khadijah]

I wanted to know these question's also cause I just found out im pregnant with baby #3 But now that I read everyones post im not worried. I also have a plan and Im going to have a support system just in case and I know what signs to look for. So all I cant say is get a good support system. I also seeing a counsler, so she is going to help ,me with my plan. Good luck to you.