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Should we have a happy thread? What we love about being a step-parent. - Page 2

post #21 of 53
3/21/08 at 11:34pm
I love that my stepdaughter's Daddy trusts me with her.

I love that she copies things that I do.

I love that she wants to know about me when I was younger.

I love that I love her even though I didn't give birth to her, and that she loves me, too.

I love that it breaks my heart to have her leave, since that means that I am happy when she is here.

I love that they she comfortable enough to come to me to ask me to bring her to buy Christmas/birthday/Mother's Day gifts for her Mother and is comfortable enough to tell me all about her Mother and her other house (even though, in all honesty, I really don't want to hear a thing about it!).

I love that she asks me for advice and for my opinions.

I love that when we go out in public and people tell her how much the she looks like "your Mommy", thanks them and waits until they're out of earshot, and then gets this silly grin and whispers to me, "Did you hear what they called you? I TOLD you could be my Mommy, too!"

I love that she begs me to do certain things with her (french braids, love notes in her lunch, long bubblebaths), because no one else (read, her Mother) is willing or able to.

I love that she tells me EVERYTHING, including things she just will not tell her Daddy or her Mother.

I love that we know what eachother are thinking and can tell a "private joke" from across a room full of people who are completely oblivious of it.

I love that at our wedding, my stepdaughter (and my son) insisted that it was a family wedding, not just a wedding between me and my Hubby and insisted in playing a big part in it (as if we'd leave them out!).

I love that I get to watch her grow up.

I love that she loves me.

I love that, sometimes when we're all goofing off, there just naturally ends up beig a "Girl's Team" (me, my stepdaughter and the two dogs) and a "Boy's Team" (My Hubby, my son and my Father-in-Law).

I love that I can see myself in her, in the way he talks and thinks.

I love that when someone asks if I'm her Mom and her Mother and her Daddy aren't around, she just tells them, "Yes.".

I love that she wanted to make sure that if her Daddy and I ever divorced, that she'd spend weekends and holidays at my house, too.

I love when I see her doing things that I've done, or that I've taught her.

I love that we have our own little routines that are just ours.

I love that my her Dad trusts my opinion on big and small parenting issues.

I love that she can't understand why she can't have two Moms, how she doesn't understand why she can't call me Mommy, too, because "I'm her other Mommy".

I love that, when she's at our house and needs parental help or attention, she doesn't always only ask for her Daddy, she asks for her Krissy.

I love that she insists she's my daughter, as well as her Mother and Daddy's daughter, even when her Mother insists I am nothing.

I love that I sometimes forget that she's not my biological child.

I love that she tells me I'm skinny (even though we've taught her not to lie! ).

I love that she gets pissed off and rants about all the "Evil Stepmothers" in fairy tales, because she can't possibly imagine a real Evil Stepmother.

I love that she never wants to leave to go back to her Mother's house (not that I want her sad, but I'm glad she loves us and wants to be with us).

I love that, unless we're having a current issue with her Mother, we feel like a "real" family.

I love that I introduce my son and my stepdaughter as "my children" and I'm being completely honest, if only in my heart.

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post #22 of 53
3/22/08 at 2:21am
I love it when dsd has to work at 9 AM on a Sunday morning and I don't have to drive her. I get to keep drinking my coffee and read my paper. Guilt free.
post #23 of 53
3/22/08 at 2:04pm
Great thread!
post #24 of 53
3/31/08 at 9:59pm
Ok, I love that the kids are a blast to hang out with and they love to be here. I love that they give me an excuse to do fun kid things with them and be silly. I also love that when they go back home to their mother's house, DH and I get to be full-time grown-ups again and the house is quiet.
post #25 of 53
4/1/08 at 9:58am
I love that Dss recently put me on emergency call on his cell phone instead of his maternal grandmother. It shows that he trusts me to do the right thing for him. I love that we have the same sense of humor and can bond through laughter about silly things
post #26 of 53
7/27/08 at 2:21pm
-bump-
All you happy step mamas out there, please keep an eye out for frustrated-stepmama threads. You have a lot of wisdom that can help others heal and become cohesive families
post #27 of 53
7/27/08 at 2:59pm

great thread!

It's too easy to loose sight of these things when we're frustrated. Thanks for starting this thread. So, I'm piping in after a really wonderful lunch with DH and DSS.

I love that they taught me to play football (and even pretend tackled me).

I love that the one who lives with us is super competitive, but I can still beat him bowling.

I love it that at his HS graduation, I was the one he wanted to take pics with (and not his bio!). (Yes, selfish, but it made me feel like the top of the world!)

I love his sense of humor.

I love that he tries to be wittier than me and giggles like a girl (yes, a 6 foot strapping young man) when I take him down.

I love it when he comes to sit at the edge of our bed to say goodnight.

I love it when he says thank you specifically to me.

I love it when he laughs at my jokes.

I love it when he hugs me just because.

I love it when he says he's having dinner with his family.

I loved that he was good at French in HS and we studied together.

I really love to watch him play baseball. He's awesome! And super fast!
Then I love to say that he gets his athletic ability from me. That always makes him laugh.

Thanks for the thread. It made me remember to have more measure of patience during the ugly 19 yo moments... He's a good guy. And he's let me in to his family too. :
post #28 of 53
7/27/08 at 3:33pm
I love that dss1 bought me chocholates with his allowance, just because.

I llove that dss2 is comfortable enough with me to walk around naked.

I love how much I see them love my dd, their sister.

This summer, dss1 made me a card, saying "thanks for all you've done this summer"

They love me. They don't really say it, but I know. Every time they smile at me, have patience with me, and help out, I see the love.

They like to help me cook. Dss1 is the Bacon Guy. Dss2 helps with everything else.

When I'm watching a tv show, dss2 will crawl, so he doesn't interupt me, no matter how many times I say, "you don't have to - just walk, it's ok!"

They love my cooking - could I say more?

My stepchildren didn't have a choice when I became their "Imma". I can only imagine how rough it was for them in the beginning, and even now sometimes. But their hearts are big enough to welcome me, to love me, to put up with me. We do the best we can. It took me a long time to be able to say "I'm so happy with MY family". But I can say it now, and I say it every day.
post #29 of 53
7/28/08 at 2:42pm
I love that everytime she sees me reading a new book, DSD asks if she can read it when I'm done.

I love that DSS yells, "SARAH! Alton is coming on!" everytime he sits down to watch "Good Eats."

I love it when I see DD1 and DSS quietly consipiring with huge grins on their faces.

I love it when DSD lets DD2 brush her hair.

I love it when DSS asks me to play kick-ball with him.

I love it when DSD asks me to help her rearrange her room.

I love that every night at bedtime, all four kids beg me to sing the Goodbye Song from the Mickey Mouse Club TV Show ("Now it's time... to say goodbye... to all our company... M-I-C... See ya real soon! K-E-Y... Why? Because I love you!... M-O-U-S-E!") and then laugh uproariously at me when I do it.

I love it when DSD asks me to teach her how to bake something.

I love it when DSS asks to jump off my shoulders when we swim together.

I love it when I sit next to DSS or DSD and they nonchalantly move closer to me, but not close enough to make it obvious that they like it.

I love big, loud, raucous family dinners.

I love it when all four kids trip all over each other to be the first one to tell me about their day.

I love that I got to have the big family I'd always wished for, but only had to give birth twice!
post #30 of 53
7/28/08 at 3:43pm
I can't believe I missed it last time *shrug*

What I love about step-parenting, is that...

* DSD made me into a better person, more patient, wiser, calmer.

* DSD made me into a better parent, my future kids owe her a big one.

* DSD didn't/doesn't have to love me or accept me. That's why I feel so that much more special when I notice that she does both, loves me and accepts me.

There. :
post #31 of 53
7/28/08 at 4:01pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oriole View Post
I can't believe I missed it last time *shrug*

What I love about step-parenting, is that...

* DSD made me into a better person, more patient, wiser, calmer.

* DSD made me into a better parent, my future kids owe her a big one.

* DSD didn't/doesn't have to love me or accept me. That's why I feel so that much more special when I notice that she does both, loves me and accepts me.

There. :
Yup. That's a biggie for me. We went to see Batman on Saturday and she was so happy to see me, and had bought me a water, and left the seat between her and her dad open for me to sit since I hadn't seen him in a few days.
post #32 of 53
7/28/08 at 11:21pm
Here goes:

-I love that DSD does not see me as just her stepmom. She calls me her bonus mom, and she is my bonus daughter.

-I love that she really values my thoughts and input on thing like religion (her mom and DH have very different views).

-I love that she talks openly and freely with me about what is going on with her "growing up"-wise.

-I love that she trusted me so much that she came to me to ask if she could shave and if I would show her.

-I love that she recently rejected a day out with her dad to go shopping to have me go with her instead. She is a HUGE daddy's girl.

-I love our one on one time at night when DH is working and her sisters are in bed. It leads to lots of interesting conversations.

-I love that she is a great big sister to our girls. She sees no difference in them as being only half-sisters.

-I love that I get to impress values upon her that her father and I find important that aren't so important to her mother.

-I love that she wants to be a SAHM like me when she grows up and exclusively BF her child (she is only having one and it will be a girl LOL).

-I love that DH and I can sit around and joke about all the bonehead things she does just like we can our girls because he knows it is all from the heart.

-I love that she feels comfortable enough to talk to me about sex. She shared a silly sign she made up that means sex, but I am not allowed to tell anyone else--especially her mom and dad. :P

-I love that she shared with me where her secret stash of candy is at her mother's house. I will buy her some random things on occasion to keep it stocked.

-I love that she is in my life and making me a better parent and person.
post #33 of 53
7/29/08 at 12:40am


I know it's been awhile since you asked to have this stuck, but now that I have seen it, I will DEFINATELY stick it. What a great thread, fek&fuzz!
post #34 of 53
8/25/08 at 7:09am
Oh, man, this thread made me wish my dd had one of you for a sm.
post #35 of 53
10/1/08 at 2:41am
ooh, I'm new in here *waves* but

I just love seeing him and watching him play and getting the chance to talk to him and see how he's doing.

I love making him smile, I love asking him questions and making him think.

I love seeing him with his little sister, I love the way he looks at her.

I'm sure I'll be back to add. I'm glad this thread is here. I was perusing and there seems to be so much stress here, so this does well to lift my spirits because I think of him and not our circumstance!
post #36 of 53
10/1/08 at 11:40am
You know whats beautiful? If you start a thread about "what we love about being a parent?" you would get the same answers.

Positive vibes to all.:
post #37 of 53
11/6/08 at 4:54pm
I loved when DSD came up with the idea to take my boys shopping for Pokemon cards before she left for college

I loved when I Invited 17yoDSS to DS 7 yo birthday, he said "I Want to come" and meant it

I love that I was the one to teach my DSD how to use a tampon the first weekend we moved in together (her mom can't use them)

I love hearing DSD say "these are my little brothers"

I love that each of my step kids reminde me of a different part of my youth I want to work on

I love being able to offer them third party insight with a perspective their parents don't have

I love getting the chance to be the kids of influence I would have wanted during my teenage years

I love that I am so different from their moms that I offer them a different perspective and different way of being to consider

I loved that my troubled DSS trusts me and was a good employee when I got him a job at my work

I love the idea of this thread, sometimes we get caught up in the challenges of a blended family, and forget the beautiful moments of them
post #38 of 53
11/16/08 at 10:01pm
I love how I have learned to be less selfish.

I love how he has taught me to be a better parent.

I love watching him grow and knowing I am a part of it.

I love that he has me to turn to if he doesn't want to talk to mom or dad.

I love his hugs!
post #39 of 53
12/31/08 at 2:50pm
There are certain days we think of as "the best days of our lives".


For me. My children being born, and then (not number second still one of the best days of my life)

Is when my dss came up to me when he was 6, gave me a picture from that said "I love my mommy." And asked if he could call me mom.

It was like giving birth. One of the happiest days of my life.

I love that he asks me things he wouldn't ask anyone else. I love that he tells me secrets and makes me pinkie swear promise not to tell. I love that he loves me. I love how we can look at each other and tell if we have had a bad day, If we see that it wasn't great for one of us, we are quick to suggest a movie in bed or a baking fest.

I love that he loves David Bowie, I love that he is into almost all of the music I love. I love that he is an artist like his dad. One of my favorite things about him is how he looks at his dad, my dh. Like this awe filled stare that his dad is the man, and is just the top of all things cool. He is an awesome kid.
post #40 of 53
1/4/09 at 8:56pm

great happy thread

I love the fact the dsd looks for DADDY every morning when Im off to work...

I love when I walk in to mother in laws house wit bio mom dsd still yells daddy first lol

I love it when I see the smile and hug and get the kisses from dsd

I love it all.. no complaints about being a step parent! She means the world to me! All of my children do... its my family!!!
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