paranoia & ppd

[MichaelsSahm]

I was wondering if paranoia could be a part of PPD?

I am asking, ever since I became a mom in 2002 I have been extremely paranoid, about crime, I can visualize bad things happening to my son, like I am afraid that he'll get abucted. I live in a big city (sor now the only option, my husband just got a decent job here) and there is alot of crime in the big city, our neighborhood is decent, but surrounding areas has drug crimes, and stuff like that. Yesterday at midnight some guy got shot by 4 guys and a girl, obviously it was some fight they were in, and this was a half mile from our house.
It scares me, and when things like that happens, I get super paranoid.
But its not just here, its everywhere, I am paranoid about crime everywhere, scared that something is going to happen to my son.

I just realise that I didn't have this paranoia until I had my son.
Its become a everyday thing, I watch the news, I get obsessed with something happening near by, I feel short of breath, my heart is pounding.

Its like this all throughout the day.

I feel like some weirdo, and where I understand that bad things happen everywhere, and its not in my control, I still am super paranoid.

See, why I think this is something more, is because, before I was a mom, I had "normal" paranoid feelings, I heard something, I got a little scared, but was able to put it aside and move on, and not dwell on it.

Now, I just can't seem to get rid of it.
I feel so alone in this.

My husband helps, when he is home, and he talks to me, I am fine, but when he leaves for work, I am a mess.

[HappyNewMama]

I think I remember paranoia-type things being a sign of PPD...a search (yay, search works again!) should get you some info....

[MichaelsSahm]

Oh search is working again? Thanks!!

[Igraine]

kmisje,

I had paranoia with my ppd in 2002.

I had to stop watching the news, any crime shows (which i used to love), and anything about kids and suffering. It was just awful.

I still can't watch many things on tv.

I also used to worry about home invasions (I live in a small town with pretty much nonexistent crime). The fact that there has been some serious crime in your area makes me think that some of your fears maybe justified. Mine were not, very irational.

I used gets these obsessive thoughts that would get on a circular track running constantly and repeatedly.

I would eliminate tv unless it is positive or uplifting. I wish I would have asked for some meds because I suffered a lot. Would consider talking to your midwife or physician? Reach out to friends, family, whoever to break up your day.

Good luck. And take care.

[Metasequoia]

I don't know if it's ppd or just becoming a mama. I had big time anxiety issues right after my first Dd was born, even severe TMJ from grinding because of the anxiety. Maybe it is ppd, but I couldn't watch the news or crime shows either - 6.5 yrs later, I still can't & I'm much better because of it.

Everytime I leave the house (especially when we're not all together) I imagine having a car accident where just I, or sometimes some of us die & obsess about the remaing children & how they would cope.

If we are somewhere up high, I imagine accidentally dropping my baby over the edge. I've heard many, many mom's say that they do this, all of the "what if's."

I also have the home invasion "what if." Especially when it's just the kids & I home alone & we're laying in bed, I constantly am thinking of what I'd do, climb out the window, hide, how would I keep the younger two quiet, etc...

I thought it was normal motherhood worry, but maybe not. I think we just become more aware of being mortal & how incredibly precious our children are.

[gabysmom617]

I remember having paranoid thoughts when I first had my baby.

I was paranoid that he wasn't getting enough breastmilk, so I checked and checked and checked and checked and checked (etc, etc, etc) his soft spot on his head. I always thought it might be sunken in if he was dehydrated, and was constantly worried about it. Did I pay attention to his wet diapers and the fact that I got peed on every. single. time. i opened up his diaper? No. Did I pay attention to the umpteenth time of the day that he pooped...again? No. i was constantly concerned about that soft spot, sooooo worried that he was not getting enough.

I did not know about the skin difference between formula babies and breastfed babies. My sisters babe (2 weeks older than mine) was totally formula fed, and had very firm tawt (also eczema'ed) skin, and my babe's was very buttery and soft, nowhere near as tawt and tight has his was. Also, he was much smaller than him, and I was always worried and concerned that his skin was "supposed" to be like my nephews, and it wasn't cause he was dehydrated. So I kept checking and checking that soft spot and his skin.

I was afraid to be left alone with my baby. I was not exactly sure why. When my husband went back to work the first day (he had 4 weeks of paternal leave, so we had spent our first 4 weeks of parenthood together) and when he called me on his lunch break, I was crying and sobbing for him to come back home. I was really messed up.

[EVC]

I've had that kind of paranoia, too. For me, I don't think it was ppd, just becoming a mom.

What helped me was the book "Protecting the Gift." I highly recommend it

[MichaelsSahm]

Thank you so much for all your thoughts.

With the recent crime in my area, was some boys having a arguement, and it got out of hand, obviously.
People tell me to just pack up and leave, we just can't do that, unless we want to move to a seriously dangerous area, we're low income right now, in the city, my husband just getting a raise, and in 3 months he is getting his manager position, so we'll be able to think about moving then.

But honestly, if its not crime in our city (we have alot of crime in our city) and I obsess about that, I obsess someone breaking into my home and hurting me or my son.

And car accidents, thats another fear.
And its all related to my son, I always see him in everything, how I don't want him to ever be without a mom, or me without him, or stuff like that. LOL

But I am not even going online to read the news anymore.

What can it hurt not knowing what goes bad around you? If you can't control it anyways?

[Metasequoia]

Originally Posted by kmisje

But I am not even going online to read the news anymore.

What can it hurt not knowing what goes bad around you? If you can't control it anyways?

Hasn't hurt me in 6 years .

[newcastlemama]

kmisje- when I had PPD I was paranoid about all the things you talked about and more. I was very irrational because there was almost no crime in the area we lived in. I was paranoid about anything happening to dh and ds. So I spent a lot of time being hyper-vigilent/obsessive about safety.

When I got better, worry decreased signifigantly. I think it is normal to be concerned about people you love, but not to the point where it is taking over your life.

Maybe you could take the PPD test and see where to go from there? Not watching news is a good step. I don't believe that people's minds where meant to know about every tragedy around the globe on a daily basis. We can only handle so much.

s Jennifer

[MichaelsSahm]

John Walsh made a comment that made sense to me.
He said, that wether you live in upsquale neighborhood, or in the ghetto, that crime has its way of coming to you if its meant to be. Something like that.
We live in a decent area, hardly anything has happened in our street, the surrounding areas however had its share of crime.
We also have alot of tagging.
And where I can't wait to move to a more greener place, out of this city, in a less crime area, I know right now I am stuck until we can afford it.
Right now we're living with my in-laws in a decent size house with 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and we have our own living area.
I am not a bad mother, and nor is my husband a bad father for not being able to move us right now.

But I think that is a part of my guilt, paranoia feeling. I feel like I am a bad parent for not being able to move out of here yet.

But I can't protect my family from everything, because wether we live here in a decent area, or I live in a upsquale place, if its our time to go, its our time to go.

I just need to continue telling myself this I guess. LOL

Thank you so much for listen to my ramble.