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moms with 2

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
how are things going now that there is more than one??
post #2 of 8
DS seems to be adjusting rather well to having DD around, but he is only 22 months. I'm not sure he remembers the time when it was just he and I, which in a way makes me a bit sad. I'm glad that DD is here but I will always treasure that one-on-one time I had with DS. It's kind of bittersweet. Does anyone else feel this way? Sometimes I feel like I'm not giving either one of them enough attention.

DH had 10 days off, today is his first day back at work (and he won't be home until tomorrow.) This is my first day alone with the 2 of them and it has been a bit rough. Right now I'm just taking it an hour at a time.

It's a hard adjustment, going from raising a child to raising a family.
post #3 of 8
i feel completely incompetent pretty much all the time. it's a wonder we get fed & bathed around here some days. the first day on my own with just the two of them was a real eye-opener. now, i'm getting a little comfier, but really i don't eat or nap on those days, which is a real problem, i think.

i agree with sonja's plan - taking it an hour at a time. some hours are better than others.

i'm really dreading a few weeks from now when dh starts travelling again. i have NO IDEA how i'll be able to get them both to sleep at night. it will take a miracle, i think.
post #4 of 8
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyBug & BabyBug
It's kind of bittersweet. Does anyone else feel this way? Sometimes I feel like I'm not giving either one of them enough attention.
nak. me too dp took a month off of work so ive just been really getting into it the past 2 weeks or so. its going suprisingly well. i've never been big on structure, but ive found having a plan for the day really helps- we do breakfast, then cleaning for one hour, then out for errands or fun stuff, then nap for ds (or not, depending on the day). then more cleaning, and then either out again or a special project like baking. then we start dinner, then papa comes home. ds is 2 1/2
post #5 of 8
I'm only two weeks into it, but I definitely feel like there's not enough of me to go around. dh took a week off, and was off for a few days this week, too, but it's still been hard. dd asks to nurse ALL THE TIME, and I haven't been able to manuver both of them at the same time, so I'm asking her to wait way more often than she's used to. She's been hitting and pinching and throwing things and I can tell it's a communication thing. It's been hard, and I hope it settles down and gets better soon.
post #6 of 8
well really it depends which way the wind is blowing how it's going around here - sometimes it is really OK and at others I've got one throwing a full blown tantrum and the other crying from gasssss!
not sure how things will pan out - especially the rest thing for me !
post #7 of 8
Oh, wow. : I've been having some guilt from not having the one on one thing with DS1 anymore. It occurred to me the other day that I had never seen DS sad before. I'd seen him mad and upset and having a tantrum, but this is the first occasion I've had to see him sad. The other day I found him crying in a corner of our kitchen. I'll ask him to go into his room for a moment so I can get dressed, and his lower lip starts trembling and he just looks at the floor. And then I was up with him for an hour last night as he cried. It breaks my heart!! : He's very good to his little brother, always petting him and identifying his body parts , but he's definately having some issues with the whole thing. He's begun trying to climb all over me when I nurse DS2.

DH went back to work last night, and things didn't go so badly. My moms' group has worked out a schedule so that every night that DH is working, someone is bringing us dinner, which has been a blessing. And they're doing this for the next month! So that helps immensely. And I actually got DS1 fed, bathed and in bed with stories on time. So, things could definately be worse. It's just figuring out how to help DS1 that's getting me.
post #8 of 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyBug & BabyBug
Sometimes I feel like I'm not giving either one of them enough attention.


Unfortunately I feel like the toddler gets the brunt of it. The baby can't wait sometimes, you know? So the toddler has to. It makes me sad and guilty :

Then again, I know that siblings are a real gift. I was an only and it sucked big time so it was important to me that I have at least two children. The newborn phase is a short one and DD1 is handling things pretty well. Knock on wood, so far no violence toward the little one, just her usual meltdown stuff when she's tired.
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