perfect time for this thread to be revived, since I had a dream last night I thought I might have accidentally gotten pregnant again. OMG, the dread. I have never been so sure I'm finished.
Quagmire, your post SO reminds me of how I felt for many years - just really on the fence. It was frustrating not to be able to settle on something. Then, we tried a while and couldn't GET pregnant.
So, although this arrangement has it's cons, I feel like it was meant to be. It's right for us, even though some of it's really challenging. So, here are pros/cons:
pros: older boys are so helpful. so. very. helpful. They are also able to appreciate all the super-sweet and cute things the babies do, in a more grown-up way, and that's fun. Another really nice thing about the big gap is that I really *know* it will get easier. For a few years, when my boys both over 4, it was AWESOME. So much fun with very little of the chaos and fatigue. So now, on my worst days when I can't handle the baby work, I reassure myself that it really will be better.
cons: as homeschoolers, I want to take the big boys places that the babies can't easily go. Or, they can go but it would be a nightmare. Otoh, I want to take the toddler to a playgroup or storytime, but that is very boring for big boys, and also inevitably happens in the morning when I'm trying to do bookwork with the big boys.