who's not planning on having any more babies? - Page 2

[aydensmama]

luckymama- i also could have written your exact post...

I think to myself, this is the last time to bathe a 2 wk old, last time to nurse a 3 wk 6 day old, etc., etc. etc.

I know that my family is complete, but I am also young (25) and will surely have waivering moments as my sister and close friends start having their babies! I know I will have newborn fever!

[BurgundyElephant]

::jumps up and down, waving hands wildly "me! me! I'm done!!" falls over in relief.::

[Quagmire]

Originally Posted by BurgundyElephant

::jumps up and down, waving hands wildly "me! me! I'm done!!" falls over in relief.::

[PancakeGoddess]

perfect time for this thread to be revived, since I had a dream last night I thought I might have accidentally gotten pregnant again. OMG, the dread. I have never been so sure I'm finished.

Quagmire, your post SO reminds me of how I felt for many years - just really on the fence. It was frustrating not to be able to settle on something. Then, we tried a while and couldn't GET pregnant.

So, although this arrangement has it's cons, I feel like it was meant to be. It's right for us, even though some of it's really challenging. So, here are pros/cons:

pros: older boys are so helpful. so. very. helpful. They are also able to appreciate all the super-sweet and cute things the babies do, in a more grown-up way, and that's fun. Another really nice thing about the big gap is that I really *know* it will get easier. For a few years, when my boys both over 4, it was AWESOME. So much fun with very little of the chaos and fatigue. So now, on my worst days when I can't handle the baby work, I reassure myself that it really will be better.

cons: as homeschoolers, I want to take the big boys places that the babies can't easily go. Or, they can go but it would be a nightmare. Otoh, I want to take the toddler to a playgroup or storytime, but that is very boring for big boys, and also inevitably happens in the morning when I'm trying to do bookwork with the big boys.

[Miss Juice]

I know we're done. I knew we were done the minute I got the BFP. "OMG!! Pregnant!! Yay!!! And we're done!" And I still know we're done, and of course now I'm sad about it. My boy will be a month old tomorrow, and it's already happening too fast. It's been so much harder this time, with the two older girls, I feel like I've missed the best part already. (whooo, here come the postpartum hormones!) I told DH that if people want to keep dropping newborns in my lap, I'm all for it, but I'm not up for another pregnancy. And in a way, though it's sad, it's also kind of freeing to know that this is the last time we'll do this. My 4.5 year old amazes me daily - in another few years we'll be able to do a whole slew of new things.

OK I am rambling. Gotta quit.

[MsGrizzle]

PancakeGoddess and Soapdiva come to mind (sorry to call you out! hope you don't mind ) Just curious - how do you think the dynamic works for your family? Positives/ negatives?

Well, after this colicky reflux baby, I know I am DONE! I couldn't do this again! Dh told me I can "chop it off' if he ever suggests another!

I'm really not sure how it will work out. Aidan was not happy at first. He had me alone for 6 years with 100% attention then BOOM, we end up with this little one who screams all day and can't be put down but hates most carriers. oy. He was definitely depressed for several weeks and would say things like, "You're spending more time with the baby than me." At least he verbalized it though. He didn't want anything to do with the baby for weeks. Now he loves him and is almost a little mother hen. It will be interesting to see what happens as they age. I think it will be tough in some ways because of the age gap and different interests and activities and abilities. But i never would have been able to handle ds2 and a toddler. yikes!!!! Since Aidan is so much older, I do think it allows me to enjoy the baby more. There are definitely pros and cons!

I'm not worried about the gap in terms of them being friends. Dh can't stand his bro who is 18 months younger and is close friends with his bro who is 10 years younger - its all about personality.

[carliec76]

i only wanted 2 and I wanted them to be 2 years apart...well I got my two 2 years and 2 weeks apart...I am 29 so I don't know how I will feel later but currntly not missing being prego!
We practice NFP and SO wants more so I will have to be very cautious.

[MrsSurplus]

I used to want a very large family...but after 3 kids and a divorce, I accepted that my family was through. Kasen was a total surprise and from the start I told dh that we would need to have another - so this one wasn't spoiled. Then, after morning sickness I thought, "or not"...then, in labor I thought, "NO WAY"...now, I think...I could still have that large family...

DH would be happy to be done now...but he'd be happy with another if that's what I really want. I don't know...but it is neat to think that maybe we could add more if we wanted to. (Oh..and on the age thing, I will be 39 the first of October...and while my body didn't respond to pregnancy like it did before (more fatigue, more backache)...it wasn't bad at all...and it is VERY nice to be pregnant/have a newborn when you are in a better place to appreciate it than one *usually* is in their 20s. That's my $.02.)

[ashtree]

We are so not done!!! I want at least one more, but would really like 2. I've already planned the next time we will TTC, I dont even care if my stretchmarks go from the top of my bellybutton to the bottom of my breasts. I love being a mom!!!

Is it wrong that I really*REALLY* want another boy? I just cant get enough of my little totoro, and really want to give him a little brother.

[Amila]

DP doesn't want anymore! I want at least one more though...can't stand the thought of Ava not having a sibling. We'll see...