Are breasts sexual or have we just sexualized them? - Page 2

[wonderwahine]

i think they may have been converted to live that way in the 1800's by missionarys.......its very rare for any colony of people that isolated to think that way without having been taught it.

[KnitLady]

Originally Posted by romans_mum

...ds has sex radar and will wake up out of a deep sleep the second dh touches my breast

Yours too, huh? I'm convinced my ds doesn't want any siblings! Not that I'm ready for another baby quite yet!!

I'm glad this whole issue has been brought up. My relationship with my breasts has totally changed since bf'ing. Breasts are no longer sexual to me. I'm no longer turned on by breast/nipple play and would rather them be left alone. This is putting a bit of a kink in the works for foreplay since I used to really enjoy nipple stimulation. I do wonder how I'll feel when I'm done breastfeeding. I don't know! It is good to know I'm not alone!!!

[wonderwahine]

we directly asked ds if he wanted a brother or sister, and he got mad and hit me! then he snuggled into my breast and whined.........every time we say "save for the next baby" he gives us "the look" and slams his hand down in protest.

its so cute, hes only 9mths old. I wonder how he will feel at 2yrs old lol.

[Francy]

Originally Posted by KnitLady

I do wonder how I'll feel when I'm done breastfeeding. I don't know! It is good to know I'm not alone!!!

I'm probably an "extreme" case (at least dh thinks I am). I've been done bfing for over a year now, and I still have major breast "hang ups." They just aren't sexual to me anymore. And dh is breast-obsessed. And his obsession icks me out. There seems to be no middle ground for us. [But see? I'm calling it a hang up. Why can't my feelings be normal? Are they? Aren't they? I don't know.]

Come to think of it, my 2 boys think my breasts are hilarious, and stare and joke about them whenever they can (though I am very casual and nonreactive about it).

So everyone in my house just needs to BACK OFF! Leave them alone already! I want to take them into hiding!

[laneylue]

Thanks for the replies! I was worried people might think I was asking a dumb question because simplistically society needs to just get over and realize that breast are for feeding a baby first, and anything else is secondary.

However, I really do think it's a complicated subject that is often difficult for both men and women to make the distinction between sexual and functional.

I can join some of you ladies and say that I don't like breast stimulation from DH nearly as much after having a child as I did before. I now often find sexual stimulation annoying and distracting. I wonder if it's something that just takes time to get over or if it will be forever annoying.

And my DH agrees with the PP - I asked him why women's breasts are sexual and men's aren't if they both feel good to be stimulated and he said in this total DUH tone, "Because women's breasts are hot."

[mike]

Nothing in and of itself is sexual its all how you look at it and how you imagen it being used

[Godiva]

Originally Posted by mike

Nothing in and of itself is sexual its all how you look at it and how you imagen it being used

That reminds me of a friend I had in high school that would make ANYTHING you said sexual. pre teens/teens just learning about sexuality find all sorts of things sexual that most people would never think of (or did I just have messed up friends? ).

[Incubator]

DH is not a boob man, but pays attention to them because I like my breasts and I want them to be appriciated. Now that I'm breastfeeding, I like them even more, and he is starting to show genuine interest in them too. I don't think there is a switch for me, in a way. I use them to feed my son, and I enjoy that. It's calming and relaxing and makes me feel good. I also like to use them in the bedroom, and for DH to enjoy them, in a different way, but I still enjoy it. After all, it's what we do in the bedroom that makes the children in the first place, right?

[BensMom]

I was just thinking about this recently. When I was pregnant, I was totally into breast stimulation during "the deed". Now taht I am nursing, it takes a little longer to get riled up, but I still do enjoy that stimulation once we get going. But yet, when DD nurses (and she isnt biting me ) I dont feel anything like it. Its amazing how it is like a switch, that in the right situation, it feels sexual, but while nursing, its just doing a job.

To answer the OP, I think breasts are inherently sexual, since so many women and men enjoy that part of lovemaking. I dont think we were taught culturally to make them so.

[Pandora114]

From an anthroplogical standpoint; Men are attracted to breasts as a symbol of "That woman is capable of feeding and sustaining my offspring"

It's a VISUAL representation that said woman can nourish a man's offspring after birth. It's also why men care about hips/butt too. Hips mean the woman can carry and birth his offspring and carry on his genes without too much trouble to herself, and said offspring.

But of course this is all subliminal and instinctual and goes back to our animalistic nature, which most of the human race totally and utterly rejects.

It's the same basic animalistic instinct that women revert to during NATURAL labour/childbirth.

[wonderwahine]

Originally Posted by Pandora114

It's the same basic animalistic instinct that women revert to during NATURAL labour/childbirth.

you mean in regards to the guteral moans, birth dance, squatting and seeking out water?

[MotheringHeart]

Prior to having kids I was really into the use of my breasts as an erogonous zone. I looooved having them touched etc etc. After our first was born and she was nursing day and night, I really felt like I didn't want to have them touched/looked at/or even brought into the act of intimacy. I was so focused on them being solely for my DD that I couldn't allow them to be used for my pleasure. As time has gone on (and with lots of patience from DH because he is a TOTAL breast man) I've come to a place where I can nurse and have them be for the nourishment and comfort of my nursling and then use them for my pleasure later on. I LOVE breastfeeding for many, many reasons, but I decided that it wasn't necessary to give up my private enjoyment of them in order to feed my babe.

If we sexualize our breasts too much and then some women feel they have to choose between breasts for sex and breasts for food, then what about our vaginas? Babies are born through that canal, does that not make vaginas sacred and thusly does it violate the sacredness of it to have sex? I say no. There is a way to view our vaginas as doing the jobs they were created for making babies and birthing them. And to me if my breasts help me to enjoy making babies (and being close w/my DH) then there is no conflict in also using them to sustain my babies.

I don't know if this makes any sense or not but....there it is.

[Pandora114]

Originally Posted by romans_mum

you mean in regards to the guteral moans, birth dance, squatting and seeking out water?

As to regards of the basic instinctual process.

The flight/fight response when the process is interfered with

How Labour can and does stall when the woman is in an unfamiliar and (in the back of her mind) unsafe/hostile environment

How labour will stall if any percieved danger is imminent.

That kinda thing.

If a woman, on a basic intrinsic and instinctual level feels unsafe in any way, her labour wont be as speedy or as relaxed. Stress + Fear = Slow labour. Heck Look at the hospital birth phenom. Women have been told and brainwashed on a CEREBRAL Level that the hospital is safe it's where you're supposed to go, but INSTINCT at the back of her mind speaks to her otherwise..

make sense??

[wonderwahine]

makes perfect sense to me, my labor stalled every time we went to the hospital........because i grew up in new zealand, WANTED ONLY a homebirth in water with a midwife, so being practically forced to go to a hospital (which i hate because of other issues) it stalled, i think in the back of my mind, my labor stalled permanantly, because i knew there was no other choice but the hospital (i definatly wasnt ready for UC and neither was dh). They had to induce me at 41weeks.

[velcromom]

Originally Posted by laneylue

it's not really the man's breast that is sexual, but the act act of stimulating it.

Now that is a really interesting point. It works for other body parts too. Why is it so sexy to have a partner suck your fingers? Because fingers are sexual? No, it's the act of treating them in a sexual manner that is stimulating. Same with the nape of the neck, back of the knee, the armpit, lol. You can get great erotic sensations from stimulating all those parts but it isn't because they are sexual, it's because y'all were acting sexy about it!


It's Katherine Dettwyler's research that contains the story about the women who rolled on the floor laughing hysterically when told that American men get a sexual thrill from women's breasts, they asked, "You mean they suck on the nipple like a baby??!!" and just thought that was hilarious that men acted like babies.

[ShadowMom]

There is nothing inherently sexual about breasts.

There are many cultures where breasts are not considered sexual and seeing them means nothing.

Conversely, in China feet are considered incredibly sexy - they react to feet much the same way our culture reacts to breasts.

Originally Posted by mike

Nothing in and of itself is sexual its all how you look at it and how you imagen it being used

You mean, other than a vagina and penis, right? I mean, they are the reproductive organs so...

[wonderwahine]

Originally Posted by KristiMetz

You mean, other than a vagina and penis, right? I mean, they are the reproductive organs so...

I dont instantly see a vagina or penis and think something sexual........a penis is a penis, and a vagina is a vagina.......we pee from that area, we give birth from our vagina.......so its not inherently sexual to me

[forthebest]

I think there is a difference between sexual and sensual and didn't some poor woman get locked up because she 'admitted',to a mw I think, she had sensual feelings when breastfeeding? How completely ridiculous to portray this as abuse and yet let real abusers carry on unhindered. Absolutely pathetic. At times when bf my first dd I had some lovely sensual feelings probably because having your nipples sucked contracts your uterus,I guess I better be careful in case some uptight person thinks I am abusing my child, thats how f****d up people in this world are. Just totally unconnected with sensuality and obsessed with sex. Breasts can be for pleasure and breasts fill up with milk to feed babies, maybe women have been conditioned to feel bad if when bfing they feel anything else than a dutiful milk-dispenser feeling and thereby lose the sensuality of their breasts. Babies adore breasts on all sorts of levels, it's just more reasons to make women feel 'bad' about their bodies. Enjoy your breasts!! All that porn rubbish we are bombarded with daily does nothing to liberate our minds or our bodies in fact the more we see the more restrictive we become, there is nothing sensual in porn, it's just product. My breasts are not a product whether I'm bfing or otherwise.

[eco_mama]

Originally Posted by romans_mum

i think they may have been converted to live that way in the 1800's by missionarys.......its very rare for any colony of people that isolated to think that way without having been taught it.

ITA.

[Party*of*5]

To the original question: I have no idea!

I just now saw the Baby Talk magazine that I've heard caused such an uproar. DH and I both agree that we've all seen more in a shampoo comercial! Well, not literally a shampoo commercial, maybe Victoria Secret commercials though. And on billboards, mall windows, clothing catalogues, high school campuses etc...

Whether they were created to be or not, why can't breasts be sexual in the bedroom, functional in regards to children, and no big deal on the street? I mean, mouths are, hands are, feet are.