Misery loves company ....
Well, not really misery. But I must admit I'm one of the women whose sexual attitude in re: breasts has done a 180 in terms of response, and dh is baffled. He is a breast man .... Loves them! And part of that love is the fact that they used to be the "Go!" buttons for me .... A little tweak and I was off to the races. Seriously, could take me to/near orgasm very quickly. Those were the days ....!
I worried a bit about whether I'd be comfortable with dh touching them while bf, and about sexual feelings while bf (since I was so sensitive). And I honestly think I've done a number on myself (paired with the supply issues we had, where for a long time I worried about having letdown during orgasm because I was afraid I'd "waste" some of my precious breastmilk) --- anyway, breast touching just has not been comfortable for me since Ina ws born. We've tried, and every time, it just makes me uncomfortable - especially nipple touching. Let's not even talk about mouths involved!! DH apparently has a good latch from his bf days -- it was eerie and uncomfortable for me. Instant damper. When we worked on me becoming more comfortable with dh touching my breasts - then I'd find myself having similar feelings while Ina nursed and I was NOT comfortable with that (especially early in this second pregnancy).
We bf'd 'til about halfway into this pregnancy, so I haven't had a "break" really from breast/pregnancy/nursing issues ... we were hoping things would improve after a couple months of bf-free but so far, no dice. I'm in the "my breasts are tender!" phase with pregnancy I guess.
I wouldn't trade bf for the world, but I'd love to get rid of my reaction to dh touching my breasts .... He understands, but it's definitely changed things for us sexually and I wish (for both our sakes) that the "go buttons" still worked like they used to. I actually think a counselor might help but how the HECK do you find a counselor who's going to be bf supportive in a CLW sort of way and also counsels on sexual issues?
(Any suggestions from BTDT moms would be great here
In terms of the sexuality of breasts in general - I do think that the female form (breasts included) is sexual and has a sexuality to it which attracts men (and women
) -- and like other areas of the body, breasts can be and sometimes are erogenous (ears, ankles, stomachs, necks, mouths). They are, like those other areas, a dual-purpose organ ... our society has obsessed so much about them sexually that some really struggle to see them as dual-purpose, though, and so try to divide the two (meh, maybe me? - I grew up in a bf family though so I don't think breasts were terribly sexualized within my family, although the media impacts things too)..... So, yes, they're sexual. But they're also for feeding babies. Just like legs are sexy, but are also for walking/hauling/running. KWIM?
I just need to work on the sexy part. I'm totally comfortable with the bf part, but with a breast man for a husband, and my own recollections of how NICE it was when my breasts were more responsive sexually -- I'd like to have that, too. Not sure how to get back to that though, except at the end of all bfing for us ... which is years away.