Originally Posted by annarbor931
Hmm. I want to be supportive here, as far as issues of the kids but I really get frustrated when step-parents complain about the CS. The thing about CS is that it goes to a portion of all household expenses, and to specific items for the children. $500/month is not a lot, in my opinion. I don't know your circumstances, but I was a step-mom once too. My XH had another child who he did nto see, but who he paid CS for since birth. I used to resent the monies that he paid to the mom. I used to say the same things. The thing is that I was WRONG. I was uninformed and just plain wrong. The mother may have had her issues, and she may have used the CS monies to get her hair done, etc. But, she was the custodial parent without any help from him. Her standard of living was kept above poverty, because of CS. My XH had a home, car, plenty of food, clothing, etc. His kid was entitled to the same things. Now, I am single parent and doing it all alone too. He hasn't seen DS in 15 months. I feel that whatever monies come into our household, benefit my son. I am sure my XH's new woman complains about the CS too. But, you just don't know until you have been there.
if she lived alone she could live in a one bedroom not a multiple bedroom house (which costs more) a bigger house takes more money to heat and electric-are you taking this into consideration? so the money is not just for her it is to help pay for the standard of living for all of them.
On raising her-if the mom treats her child more like a friend than a her child, maybe that is what you should do too,just wash your hands of the responsiblitiy of "raising" her. be the friend. you are not her mother, you should not have to worry about raising her. let some of the burden slide off your shoulders. it may take time for the child to adjust to this but I can assure you it will get better. You seem like a caring mother (you are trying to figure out your feelings) and i think you are taking this all too personally. You knew he had children before he met you and he is taking responsiblity for them. I would have no respect for my dh if he didn't. Try to look at it form their point of view.. good luck mama