“Everyday Blessings” Part V ~ Book Discussion & Tea Party - Page 8

[Curly Locks]

Glad moonman is better! If I had an RV and some extra money for gas and a nanny for ds, I'd love to tour the U.S. and see everyone! What a jaunt that would be.

Off to try to save the world, but unfortunately I need to save my own world first. Uggg! Haha...having a bad day and started journaling to God tonight. It made me feel a little better. Not having a mother and father or a family that isnt wrapped up in layers of Uggg! makes holidays seem empty. And with dh not having a "real" job yet it is still pretty ugly around here sometimes. But we're trying to be positive since he has 3 interviews next week. I'm just a little better at it being "UP" than he is and I think it is wearing on Ms. Critical. (me) Sorry to be such a complainer...I am tired and tomorrow will be a better day.

Here's another cute emoticon to cheer me up, mamas. I'll just strum "Peter Cottontale" and hop on down to dream land.

[Curly Locks]

Yep, today is better... I was really PMSing yesterday.

[Megs Mom]

Originally posted by Curly Locks
Being an oldest big sister means I push my values and beliefs onto others as if I know more. And I am not shy about it. It's like I have to save the world.

Me too, totally. In fact, I confessed at my Al-Anon mtg. last week that once, in a scholarship interview, my answer to the question, "What would make the world a better place?" was, "If everyone did things my way".

[Megs Mom]

Originally posted by Curly Locks
Anne, I hope you week got better too. I am struggling here with holy week as well. I'm finding it very difficult to get to church with a nursing like mad toddler that needs a nap.

We find it hard to get through church every week with any kind of toddler.

[Megs Mom]

Originally posted by nuggetsmom
heather, love the fairy emoticon. I would never see any of these if it werent' for you.

Hee, me neither.

[Curly Locks]

Originally posted by Megs Mom
We find it hard to get through church every week with any kind of toddler.

Oh goody! Will you write my pastors a note? We havent been to church since dh started teething big time with these molars and before that we only made it monthly...he wants to run around and talk to everyone during the service! My values and tolerances have changed so much over the last few months since toddlerhood arrived. We play and goof off as much as possible even when doing chores. And that isnt allowed at church. I want find a church that is like a botanical garden that allows toddlers to play during the service and the pastors and members dont mind bfing during services when the toddler needs to refuel. I told dh that a few weeks ago and he said that would be neat but honestly, H... Life is too short to take it so seriously, right? Maybe I'm just making excuses and really dont want to go to church. Even considering changing churches. But I know that "Wherever You Go, There You Are." I'll always find something to criticize. I just want to puke some days over this. :Puke

Here's some mindful dust...please cleanse me, for I am a "SINNER!"

[Megs Mom]

DH and I take turns being "in charge" of Meg each half of Mass. So one week he takes the first half, then we switch; then the next week I take the first half. Usually it involves walking around with her in back a lot. And I don't hesitate to BF her during Mass (and not in the cry room).

[Curly Locks]

Analisa~Thanks for the tip. We did go to church on Easter and it worked out well. We went to a church that is about one minute from our house. He was able to walk around and look at the other kids that were sitting/playing in the back with other young families. It is a smaller church and the people seem more our speed than our other church across town (same religion).

[Curly Locks]

Analisa~ I just noticed your hyena! You crack me up! I am changing my sig line this week, if I get a chance.

[Curly Locks]

“Nourishment” page 169-172

Ready, set, go! Gee, a week goes so fast! I almost feel like I need another week…I finished the “Magical Child” and started Ina May’s “Guide to Childbirth” which is a new book and I’m learning/charting my fertility signs. Our garage sale is next week too. But I am still gung ho, mama’s cuz I found time to skim this chapter again and it’s about breastfeeding…one of my favorite pastimes with ds. And the next chapter is about breastfeeding too. And I am so excited about sharing my experiences with you and seeing what you have to share as well.

This paragraph makes me feel all warm and fuzzy b/c it is certainly true for ds and I...Page 172.

”Breastfed babies and toddlers see their mothers as the “source.” Venturing out is balanced by a return to the source of their contentment, their fulfillment, their security. It is if they are always held. This “holding” has nothing to with controlling or holding back. They stay within the maternal sphere because they are strongly connected. They are able to come and go, grounded in their relationship to her and her body.”

Our bodies and minds are so amazing. I feel like I am just touching the tip of the iceberg in my learnings from motherhood and ds. Love really does heal a lot of wounds. And giving ds the very best of my love through breastfeeding someone heals the baby in me that was so wounded and has bonded ds and I in such a special way.

Looking forward to your thoughts here, mamas… I hope you had an amazing week. I missed you all this week even tho' it went very fast and was a great week for my family.

[Curly Locks]

P.S. I just wanted to add that I realize not everyone feels so warm and fuzzy about toddler nursing and that everyone is entitled to their own "thoughts." I'm just high on my "ah ha" moment that my "thoughts" are my reality and right now I love toddler nursing. So please feel free to express any frustrations or positive experiences that may help those that are frustrated to make it through this unique period in their lives. We are all frustrated at times and this is very normal.

[Breathe]

Hi Everyone,

I must say that while I missed you all, I really enjoyed my week "away", too, and I was really sick the whole time, so that's sayin' somethin'! It's hard to not watch TV when you're sick, but once I got the hang of it, I rediscovered reading -- pulled out some old Mothering mags and enjoyed them all over again! -- and felt like I actually *learned* some things with my free time. Also delved into Fast Food Nation, which further convinced me that we need to trash the TV for good. And we will . . . just as soon as West Wing has their season finale.

I read way ahead in EB and had forgotten that this week was about BF. But that's perfect for me bc I felt like BFing my son was what got me thru this week of being sicker than I've been in years. (Dh wondered aloud if I had SARS. "Thanks for that reassuring thought, Hon!!!")

Seriously, having to care for ds 24 hrs a day turned out to be a godsend. And I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to do it, but he kept me grounded and focused instead of wallowing in misery. And I realized how much *I* get out of our BF relationship.

Now this is a hard thing for me to say, bc my mom is the one who told me that anytime a child nurses past 1 yr, it's bc of the mother's needs, not the child's. (: She really is pro-BF -- was even a LLLer in the 70's, but apparently missed the whole EBF conversation!) And even tho I've always disagreed with her, I do think I bought the brainwashing that nursing should be some martyr activity -- that if we're enjoying it, then that's somehow inappropriate and unhealthy.

So with this in mind, I was inspired to write a poem about my week -- MY FIRST POEM EVER IN MY LIFE (well, at least since we were forced to write Haiku in elementary school!). I've been so touched by the poems in Mothering, and generally so moved by own mothering that I have felt MANY urges to write, and since it was no TV or MDC week, I did it! So here it is -- you are my first and only audience!

Nursings
by ECL

It's scary being the mommy
and being sick
How will we function?
How will I take care of you?
Who will take care of me?

Then you
take me away from my aching skin
pounding head
tired mind

Nursing through the night
stroking my arm with your perfect soft hand

Nursing through the day
pressing your cool pudgy foot against my feverish cheek

Marking the passing hours with your
gentle attention
loving gaze
playful words

And I slowly heal
bathed in gratitude
For your nursing of me.

[Curly Locks]

Breathe~ Loved the poem! Glad you're feeling better and thanks for sharing your week with us. Looks like a neat book! I quit eating fast food a long time ago and rarely eat out. So I enjoyed reading this book review. Fast Food Nation

Can't wait to see what everyone else is up to and I wanna hear more about your nurslings. :bf

[rainsmom]

Hi,

I havent posted on this thread for quite awhile, since the "18year retreat". But Ive been reading along all the while.

Just wanted to say about toddler bfeeding. For me, some times its a challenge....especially when dd wants to go on an all night marathon. But lately its been such a bonding experience. Or is that REBONDING.

My sis who is a bf advocate shared something with me the other day. Both her dc's are 18 and 22. She said that she is so glad she ebf her dd till she was 2.5, she is convinced it is why they are so close now. The other day her 22yr old dd went to hug her and nestled in her arms and breathed in and said "Mmmmmmm, you smell the same mom".

When we all want to have good relationships with our dd's now and in the future, it is why we parent the way we do........and it makes it all worth it to hear that!

[Iguanavere]

Welcome back! We didn't go no TV or computer, but we already cut back. I was glad to have a bit of a break, nonetheless.

Just re-read this chapter and just loved how totally accepting the Kabat-Zinn's were of both bottle-feeding and breast-feeding, with there still being a slant to breastfeeding. I loved how they ask us to focus on our children during thins time of nurturing through food/feeding. I think that so many food issues (I have sugar issues) are from us not really being mindful about eating - what are we hinding in our eating? What are we mindlessly passing on to your kids by our mindless eating?

I am nursing my ds and dd - ds will be 3 next month and dd is 5 months now. Nursing has been an amazing journey for me. While I was pregnant, I hated nursing - I felt mad, angry, resentful, yet I also felt strongly about meeting my sons need for not only the nutrition that he was getting but that comfort. I began a slow weaning process at 2 and by 2.5 when dd was born, ds was down to nursing just before bed for about 30 seconds.

Well ds has recently been on a growth spurt, both physically and developmentally and suddenly he wasnt to nurse every time the baby is nursing. IT's been a challenge, but luckily he will only nurse a for a second. He just wants to know that he can nurse. I have pro-lactin again, so I don't mind and in many ways I feel lucky that we didn't totally wean. If he wanted to wean, I wouldn't be totally sad, but a little sad.

Anyway - welcome home everyone!

[mamabutterfly]

Breathe, thank you for sharing that with us! How beautiful.

I am too sad to post much tonight - a very hard weekend. But I love nursing. I guess one thing I can say on topic that is still about my sadness is that I have noticed that when she's busy into nursing, dd can often nurse through any noise and even me walking up & down stairs or whatever without seeming to notice. Yet when I have had occasion to cry while nursing her, even if I am being as silent as possible and trying not to shake my body at all, she pops right off and looks right into my face so intently. Just reminding me we are so in tune.

I missed you all - we didn't turn off anything around here.

mb

[nuggetsmom]

Well, the computer has been on around here for sure. ANd I worked on a freelance project for hours and my computer ate it!
And DH has been sick so he watched TV with DD while I was working... NOt a whole lot though, I guess DD watched an hour total this week.

El- I loved the poem.

Well, I am having mixed feelings about BFing right now. DD will BF for a long time before going to bed (45 min) and she sucks irregularly, then soft then hard, pops off and sucks my nipple back up and frankly, it makes my skin crawl. But (as I found out in the EBF forum) it's normal. I nightweaned her recently and that was very easy. But with the way she nurses I stopped offering during the day and she doesn't ask so she is pretty dayweaned too. And the marathon before bed routine I can't handle so I have limited it to 15 minutes and I have decided that I will give it another month. THen we will see what happens.
I doubt that I would be comfortable with tamdem nursing so if we decide to TTC I think we will wean her.

So in order to get her to bed, we sleep in our bed. I have mixed feelings about that too, because I liked getting in bed without her. I have a hard time falling asleep with her in there unless I have been sleeping already. But then I don't really mind too much anyway.

Still, I am very happy that I have BFed and I am proud of BFing still. I am also proud when I tell people I am BFing a 20 mo old for the advocacy aspect KWIM? My mom really thinks it's excessive, but what does she know.

It's true that there is a feeling in this society that if you are enjoying some aspect of nurturing, it is considered inappropriate. Think of the feelings towards BFing and family bed and other things too. Interesting insight El.

MB I hope you feel better soon and I hope that your sadness brings about what is needed. If that is not too strange and cryptic a sentiment.

Well, I am going to try to recoup some of the work I lost.

[Curly Locks]

Wow!!! Thanks everyone for sharing. I really enjoyed your thoughts and MB, here's a great BIG .

I have been doing a lot of thinking the past few days about our journey to where we are now in our EBF relationship. It started off rocky...for months I was on a quest to figure out why I kept having problems with clogs etc. I read every book I could get my hands on to keep me motivated...Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing by Kippley, Attachment Parenting by Katie Granju, Sears books, The Motherly Art of Breastfeeding, Mothering Your Nursing Toddler...all in the first five months of motherhood. The books were so pivotal for me and really the foundation of my mothering belief system. I learned that a need that is not met in a child is NOT a need that goes away, it manifests in adulthood and maybe sooner as an addiction, depression, suicide attempts, smoking, selfishness, etc. A child that is self weaned is "ripened off the vine." This is what I truly want for ds.

Also in addition to the books I went to LLL meetings and API meetings. Everyone was so supportive and I could see that the toddlers and children that truly had their needs met were the children that were the most secure and self confident. I knew EBF, co-sleeping, cue reading my baby and trusting my instincts and not a calendar were the best things for us.

So here we are at almost 17 months and after 8 months of frustation, self loathing, numerous doctor vists for breast problems which were somewhat psychologically based, and negative thoughts like I dont know if I can go on...we're still at it and I feel like a hero to my son and anyone else that ever doubts they can overcome their inner fears and doubts.

You all are so awesome for traveling this wonderful road to EBF and your babies are all heirs of a wonderful gift you have given them and the world....a healthy and happy adult!!!

Mothering magazine's Purpose Statement:

Mothering is both a fierce advocate of the needs and rights of the child and a gentle supporter of the parents, and we encourage decision-making that considers the needs of all family members. We explore the reality of human relationships in the family setting, recognizing that raising the heirs of our civilization well is the prerequisite for a healthy society.

This is so awesome and I am so proud to be a part of this community with so many awesome mamas like yourselves!

Happy nursing! And just to let ya know ds is a wiggly nurser sometimes too. I just firmly let him know when he is hurting me or annoying me and to PLEASE SIT STILL OR GET DOWN. And if he doesnt stop hurting me I unlatch him and he usually will stop whatever he was doing.

[mamakarata]

Originally posted by Breathe

MY FIRST POEM EVER IN MY LIFE

Nursings
by ECL

It's scary being the mommy
and being sick
How will we function?
How will I take care of you?
Who will take care of me?

Then you
take me away from my aching skin
pounding head
tired mind

Nursing through the night
stroking my arm with your perfect soft hand

Nursing through the day
pressing your cool pudgy foot against my feverish cheek

Marking the passing hours with your
gentle attention
loving gaze
playful words

And I slowly heal
bathed in gratitude
For your nursing of me.

aw el, that was beautiful! thank you so much for sharing that. i am so happy for you to write a poem this last week. and that it is touching on such a unique subject of nursing through our own illness.

myself, i cherish our bf now more than ever given his newfound independence. b/c no matter how brave he is, he can still be a baby and nestle into mama's arms.

i watch him knowing one day he will be a man that is totally at ease in a woman's arms one day. what a gift to him and to women!

it's amazing what we discover when we let go of our own (and in your case) everyone elses fear of intimacy.

thanks again.

more from me later. i didn't even finish reading the rest of the posts. just got all emotional on this one and had to respond! (i am at work with someone on hold!)

[Megs Mom]

Originally posted by mamabutterfly
I am too sad to post much tonight - a very hard weekend.

Oh, your post made me feel so sad for you...{{{HUGS}}}