what do you do when your child understands/ does something that you don't?

[meowee]

When your child clearly indicates a better understanding or knowledge of something than you have, do you 1) fake it and act like you know what they're talking about; 2) admit to them you have no idea what they're talking about, or 3) give as neutral response as possible, i.e. "Wow, that's so interesting, I should look that up and read more about it"?

[Ruthla]

My 11yo does this frequently!

I never, ever, put my kids down or try to pretend that I know or understand more than I do. If I don't understand something or know the answer, I straight out tell them I don't know.

What gets frustrating (to both of us) is when DD has a question about something and needs guidance, but since she knows more than I do I can't help her!

[oldcrunchymom]

I say, "That's really interesting, I didn't know that. Can you tell me more?"

I think it's a great lesson for kids to learn that no one (not even an adult) knows everything! My kids and I have different interests so we all have things we know/can do that other family members might not. Nothing wrong with that.

[Butter]

I let her teach me. She is very into learning things most people don't like Latin and the concept of infinity.

[Roar]

It would depend on the situation. I may say "tell me more" or I may acknowledge he's enjoying the subject and express the limits of my interest. Afterall I don't think he needs to listen to me ramble on about yarn or something he doesn't care about for hours either.

I think this is a good situation to start talking about different people having different strengths and interests. Our son has known from the time he was a preschooler there were areas he knew more about than other people in the family. It is just something we take for granted here.

[momto l&a]

Whatever you do dont fake it!

[warriorprincess]

I ask him to tell me more, or sometimes help me! He is so much better at math, so I ask him when I don't have a calculator and need to figure something.

[meowee]

Yes, it's hard for me when he asks me a question that I can't even begin to answer. My pat response is, "You would have to look that up," or, "You would have to find a book at the library about that."

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by meowee

When your child clearly indicates a better understanding or knowledge of something than you have, do you 1) fake it and act like you know what they're talking about; 2) admit to them you have no idea what they're talking about, or 3) give as neutral response as possible, i.e. "Wow, that's so interesting, I should look that up and read more about it"?

When it comes to typical questions (i.e. "Where do babies come from?" or "What happens when you die?") I have yet to hear one from my children that I couldn't answer. Mike has, ("Why is ice slippery?" probably most recently) and he made a mistake by giving BeanBean an inadequate (and, as far as I'm concerned incorrect) answer, and boy did he ever get an earful from BeanBean as a result.

Even when I do know "the answer" (or, more likely, an answer) I will often suggest to BeanBean or BooBah that we look it up together, and try to find more information. I'll also ask leading questions, so that he has a chance to figure it out for himself. My goal in raising my kids isn't to pump them full of random, useless facts; I'm sure that they'll pick up more than enough of those on their own. Instead, I'm trying to inspire a) critical thinking and b) a love of learning. There is nothing quite so satisfying to me as thinking of a question and then finding or synthesizing an answer. It's like fine chocolate, or (dare I say it!) a really good orgasm. Fantastic! Now I need a clove...

In a similar vein, though: My son has a sense of direction and an internal grasp of place which defies my imagination, to say nothing of my actual understanding. A few months after his first birthday, he demonstrated a better sense of direction than my own by telling me to shift into another lane to visit Mike at work (as an added bonus, Mike had only just begun working at a new facility; BeanBean remembered where it was, but I hadn't internalized it yet). At 3.5, he regularly gives me directions, and gets very upset when I miss turns. Last week I stopped to ask someone for directions and BeanBean was very happy for me, and pleased that I'd found a way to get where I was going "on my own," but at the same time he was irritated that I hadn't simply taken his advice and turned around (the concept of one way streets and no U-turn signs hasn't settled in yet).

When it comes to directions, I have to be honest with BeanBean and with myself-- he's better with them than I am, and the chances are excellent that he always will be. Mamma is very, very likely to get lost, and requires special accomodations that way-- a cell phone to call home, reverse directions, etc. BeanBean thinks differently, and understands things differently than mamma in this particular respect, and his way is more natural and better. I'll often defer to BeanBean when it comes to directions, because the fact is that he really does know better than I do, at least 90% of the time (and again, the other 10% usually has to do with laws and/or driving technique; it is not always practical to take the shortest/easiest route).

I don't think that he's got a big head about this. When asked, he'll simply state these things as fact. Mamma gest lost a lot, I don't. Mamma needs a map when she drives, I just know where I'm going. Mamma can only internalize one set of directions to a place at a time, and it takes her a long time to learn them (especially if there aren't a lot of unique signs around ). BeanBean doesn't require that much scaffolding; very little time and energy are spent on learning how to get to a new place, he simply goes and remembers. It's all good. I'm impressed by him, and I give him opportunites to exercise this fun (and incredibly useful!) skill whenever I can. I certainly don't begrudge him this ability that I don't have. Okay, I'm jealous sometimes, I wish that I could find things easily, but I'm also jealous of his 12-inch-long eyelashes and his super sweet dimples. I love them dearly, and they're part of who my son is; I'm amazed by him every single day.

[~member~]

I always admitted that I didn't know, but I always tried hard to get her the information she wanted, whether that meant a trip to the library, museum, or finding a specialist. My dd got to meet with some of the scientists from the Human Genome Project. I sat by the side, but had no clue what they were talking about.
I tried to get her into one of the star towers...those things where they have the powerful telescopes and you can see the planets, but by the time I had it set up, we had hit rock bottom and had to move.

[RedWine]

My 3 year old really enjoys listening to Chinese, and I let her watch language instruction tapes. I've watched them with her, but she had them all memorized after only one or two viewings/listening sessions (I am not exagerating). She becomes very annoyed with me when I don't recite them with her or sing along. I have told her that I can't ,that I am still learning. However, since she can do it, she thinks I should be able to. Sometimes she gets upset, as though she thinks I am refusing to play with her. She'll also say something to me in Chinese and expect me to answer. She gets mad when I can't.

I think it scares her to understand that all-powerful mama (in her eyes, since she's only 3 1/2) can't do some of the things that she can.

[fourgrtkidos]

I don't fake it. Your kids appreciate when you are honest. Also, they are so smart, they usually know when you're faking, just like us adults know when someone is Bullshitting us.

I learn ALOT from my kids.

And, he helps me with my homework. If I faked it , I'd have to pay a tutor