Originally Posted by K's Mom!
may I chime in here? I have a 3.5 year old DD who will be 4 on January 20. She has become a bit obstinent and challenging.
: Requires a great deal of patience (that I usually don't manage to have
) I also have an almost 1 year old DS (1 on the 24th). I think that my DD is starting to resent my DS because I tend to give him more attention. A. because he is nursing and sits in my lap many times a day and B. He is in a really cute age, is learning new stuff. I am sad for her.
Any of you faced this when you had older children and then had baby. How did you handle it?
im in the exact same place right now.. my son is 3.5.. born in december and have an 8 month old DD.. he is being very challenging. some days are better than others.. but mostly i have to ask him a million times a day to be gentle/kind with me and ngaio (his sister)
he constantly leaves toys that are not safe around where she can get them.. so im always picking stuff up and asking him to help me..which he refuses to do most of the time.. even though before his sister was born he LOVED cleaning up. id love to just get rid of the smallish unsafe toys but he's loving lego and so i really want him to get to play with it.. but arg.
he's also really into the "you dont like me..i hate you..you are so mean" stuff.. which makes me so sad..because i feel like he's picked it up from my moms foster kids who say this stuff a lot because they are sad and fucked up from being in and out of foster homes most of their lives..it makes me feel sick because im all about GD and i try so hard to be loving and patient with him at all times.. but i feel like im failing. and i know he doesnt really understand what it really means to say those things.. or the impact it has on me..
they are just soooo good at picking up words and phrases and repeating them.. i think terrible 3's is a more true term than terrible 2's..
its hard. and its so true about the cute baby thing. this age is sooo lovely(8 months to a year).. and its hard not to focus on the baby..especially when the older one is being..ahem. a monster.
i really miss having the time to really focus on him. i feel like i always have to jump up and leave him when ngaio needs me.. because i breastfeed and im practicing AP..but then im not really APing him because hes older and doesnt need me as much..at least in a physical way. i mean.. im trying to but its difficult.
i feel stretched thin. and im sad for him too