He's Bored. Please HELP ME!

[embers]

Hehe...

OH DEAR GOD THE CHILD IS BORED!


All of the books have come off the bookcases, are color sorted, and are stacked neatly ...on the floor.

My change jar is empty and lying on its side... and the change is sorted and stacked neatly... on the dog

This piece of art.. it is STUNNING. Flowers, grass, bugs, stars... Too bad I will have to wash his pen-covered naked body at some point.

Please... help... me.... I have run out of ideas today, and it is not even lunchtime yet! His natural drive for content, experience, and learning are at their normal high, an in the absence of constructive and new experiences (can't go to the zoo EVERY DAY) he is making up his own.

And then... it happens:

"MOOOOOOOOOOMMIE-O! I AM BOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!!!!!"

I liked reading the other thread about we engage and participate with our children, not just *work* them, and I'll be damned if I need to apologize for my child having strong social skills, etc. Great stuff there in that thread. But.... I need suggestions today on WORKING WITH my young son. In desperation I have him sitting in front of PBS, but he is growing tired of Mr. Rogers. Instead, he has drawn his own scenery on the screen with chalk.

Can y'all list some creative suggestions?

I am thinking about trying to find some beads and thread, and showing him how to make simple necklaces (he LOVES necklaces); and he is really good at those tiny little focused hand movements. Shoot; the boy writes perfectly with both left and right hands.

What else...? He just grows tired of toys...

Dancing, maybe? Anyone have some suggestions on fun and slightly challanging dance moves that I can show him?

I am open to all ideas! Help me come up with new ways to play and learn today!

[jkpmomtoboys]

I have to say I don't truly see being bored as a problem, ever. When kids get bored they are apt to use their imagination and discover things to do. I let my kids tell me they're bored everyday because I think it's useful for them.

And once they realize parents aren't going to react everytime they say that magic "bored" word, I'm not really convinced any truly gifted child is ever bored.

Sorry I know that's not what you were looking for.

[meowee]

Don't knock TV-- there are some good educational documentaries he might love. My son was obsessed with a video about building a dinosaur model when he was younger. DK has great science videos.

Does he have gears? Legos?

Homemade clay?

There is a book called "Wee Folk" about how to make beautiful little figures from pipe cleaner, embroidery floss, and wool felt...

Create a board game together.

Teach him to play chess or download a free chess program.

There are some nice educational software titles out there... reader rabbit, thinkin' science zap, mighty math calculating crew, zoombinis are good ones.

[alegna]

craft stuff (make a box- empty yogurt containers, tissue paper, construction paper, scissors, glue, pom poms, glitter etc)

cook something

educational videos have their place....

invent something

invent an easier way to do something

build a house for stuffed animals

draw a map of the house

button box to sort (since he seems to like sorting )

[Roar]

Is he getting enough exercise - I know it can be hard the heat we've got in much of the country.

Beyond this, I'd let it be. In my opinion entertainment is a personal responsibility.

[eilonwy]

My impression is that he's entertaining himself by destroying the house. It's very familiar to me, my children will do this sort of thing as well, if they're not kept busy busy busy. (Like today! : )They've got plenty of time to explore and play and enjoy the world, but when it's too hot to go outside and they're tired of watching DVDs and I'm tired of finding Cheerios ground into my pillow and all the books off the shelves and all the change out of the jar and I've washed them for the third or fourth time that day and we're out of paper and the caps are off all the markers anyway... well, it's time for workbooks.

There is nothing wrong with keeping a child's mind busy enough that they have something to focus on aside from making your living space unliveable. You have loads of options available to you. I started with those gigantic workbooks you can find at WallyWorld because they were easy to find, fairly inexpensive, and gave me plenty of time (well spent folding laundry for the kids to put in drawers and promptly remove). If he's got specific interests, there are often fun, time-consuming things that you can do; if he doesn't, you can begin at the begining and let him work his way through whatever you can throw at him.

I don't believe that boredom is a bad thing in and of itself, but I don't think it's fair to expect a small child to entertain himself all of the timem, even if he is very bright.

[oldcrunchymom]

The only thing that saved me from insanity when my son was a toddler/preschooler were interactive things he could do himself such as workbooks, V-Tech toys (no LeapFrog back then), and computer learning games. And, uh, the Gameshow Channel and the Weather Channel.

Honestly, he was never bored, just very very demanding to the point where I would have literally gotten nothing done if I didn't find those other ways to keep him occupied. In fact, I don't think I've ever heard the words "I'm bored" come out of his mouth, not once in almost 11 years.

My daughter, on the other hand, claims to be "bored" after about 5 seconds of inactivity. So it definitely depends on the kid!

[LeftField]

My kids generally don't get bored either, but they do get restless and fight with each other. Usually, it's not a problem. But the heat, as someone else mentioned is causing a lot of issues...it's like they have cabin-fever. I've been trying to take them places but it's not like they can run around outside like they do in the cooler weather. So, they've been rather rambunctious and quarrelsome, which is not like them.

I am happy to get stuff out for them, but I don't want to be responsible for entertaining them either. I think that's more difficult with one child. I want them to entertain themselves. But I don't want to hear them bickering either.

With my oldest, a really neat trick for the "I'm bored" line (it does come out sometimes) is to suggest that he help me clean or that he put his toys away. : Then, he magically thinks of something else to do. It doesn't work with my 2 year old yet, although he does like to clean (just not toy clean-up).

What kind of activities does your son like to do? You mentioned he had good fine motor skills, didn't you? Is he mechanical? Could you give him something to work on that would engage his brain and keep him from getting into other stuff? We have a busy box that's full of stuff like buttons, popsicle sticks, empty toilet paper rolls, random pieces of ribbon, etc. If you tear off a bunch of pieces of masking tape and stick them on the table's edge, lots of things can be created that way. My kids played with dried beans this week for over an hour. I just gave them spoons and bowls. It's messy, but it's nice texture play. What about something like puzzles or pattern blocks? Legos? K'nex?

[srain]

Tinkertoys
stuff to build with- wood, hanners/nails or glue if he's too little for that
experiments to see what floats; how to make the heaviest thing float
practicing slight-of-hand tricks in front of the mirror

[boongirl]

When I was teaching gifted kids, one of the other program teachers had this great quote about boredom basically being the child's problem, not hers. And it is really the child who needs to come up with something to do. If we always hand them things to do when they say they are bored, they will just continue to do so more and more until they will stop thinking for themselves much. (believe me when I say that I these are the most frustrating kids to have in class because they are always bored.) The cure for boredom is imagination and plenty of stuff to be creative with in and out of the home. What I would do if he was my child is exactly what I did with my students when they said they were bored. This will work regardless of age.

Have a set list of rather ambiguous activities that are age appropriate for the child to choose from. When he says he is bored, tell or give him the list. For example:

• explore outside
• create something at the art area
• read a book
• watch tv (depending on your preference for that)
• cook something
• build or create something new with your toys
• find a problem in the house to solve

Keep the list relatively short and nonspecific so he has to use his imagination to come up with an activity. You could also add "do chores with mom" to the list. You never know, he may agree!

The point is to engage him in making the decision himself and to teach him how to move away from being bored by himself, through his own endeavors. Being bored is his problem, not yours. Let him solve it.

As he gets older, say over the age of 7-8 and can handle art tools like scissors and glue, etc. it is fun to have a creation station. Mom and dad, neighbors, relatives, everyone can contribute their stuff to the creation station. It could have empty toilet and paper towel rolls, old wrapping paper, old technology parts (like keys from a keyboard or RAM cards), leftover plastic utensils from a party, tinsel from holidays, glitter and other decorative items, ribbon, large and small pieces of cardboard and boxes, paint, crayons, glue, scissors, even plant parts like cones and sticks. Then, set him loose to create. Do not give him any suggestions. The point is for him to learn to use his creative powers to fabricate something straight from his own imagination. This is a great activity for any age child, as long as they are old enough to handle the scissors, glue, etc. I have seen kids make buildings, airplanes, space ships, whole cities, hats, decorations for their rooms, and on and on. Keep stocking it and he will never run out of things to do.

[Roar]

The other thing is that boredom at our house often generates the suggestion to join me - you are welcome to help fold laundry, to help wash the baseboards, etc. This could be considered a punishment but instead it is just presented as an opportunity to join in and if the kid is really bored sometimes they will.

[sophmama]

My dh and I have found that we have to sit down and brainstorm periodically to come up with activities that keep my dd happy. She will do self-directed learning but it can be disastrous for mommy.

I have a large variety of "kits" of toys that are up on the shelf - all things more interesting than most little kid toys. Puzzles, worksheets, "exploration" kits. Her leap pad and starfall.com get a lot of play. And TONS of DK books, Kingfisher books, etc. Supervised play with craft supplies. And getting outdoors - these days to the pool. Magnifying glasses, binoculars, stethescopes, etc. enable safe exploring that can occupy her for a while.

HTH?

[Nathan1097]

He he... my nearly 9-year-old just read this, going "Mooommmmeeeee! I'm BORRRRED!" Ha ha... And he most certainly is NOT. He'ys pressing buttons messing up my posting and gigglingy like a wild mtonkopeyysyhfgfg Now he's all triumphant.yuhyuuhjuyhuyhbunuhjujuhjnu Another triumphant move and lots of bouncing and ghgyt yu7o giggling... okay posting....

[loraxc]

You are getting lots of great suggestions. What about just looking things up on the computer together that he's interested in? We spent about half an hour monkeying around reading about the Eiffel Tower and looking at pictures of it the other day. Google Image Search can be a really fun place to start.

Do you have a yard? How about learning to ID plants, bugs, and birds? My DD loves this. (Fortunately, DH is a botanist. )

There are some great books out there of science and art projects for kids.

Do you have a big world map? That's been keeping us busy over here of late.

[embers]

Albino. It started with hedgehoges and went to bats, cats, rats, and even people. Bless you Google image search!

We have been on an animal kick for a while now. Granted, I have done some pet rescue and fostering since before my son was born, and we have a home full of critters... and he has always loved animals... but receintly it has been a focus. The albino search was great! We took a trip to the zoo a few days ago, and lost and abandoned in the bookshelf in his room I found a large text-book style book about baby animals (including large colorful pictures). Want to know the difference between types of storks? Just ask my son! That was a lot of fun for him and for me... I am trying to find other ways to stimulate and provide for this interest now... We played with his ferrets a lot the past two days, and I let him feed them, fill the water bowles, and find a few toys he thought he could part with to give them some new things in their cages...

I love some of the suggestions here! Thank you so much!

I found a turtle sandbox for free off of craigslist. Now to go get some sand... Ideas for sand toys, projects, play? I think that I know the basics, but any other creative suggestions would be wonderful!

I think that I have some dried beans in the cabinet that I can part with; the texture play is a great idea!

I have lots of cardboard boxes. Suggestions on something fun, maybe? We have stacked and crashed, and made forts... but a few days of that and now they are just boxes again

I have an e-mail address for him. He LOVES getting e-mail, and then with my help typing things back. Is there anyone here that would like to start a kids e-mail club, maybe? Send pictures of pets (let our kids photo their favorite toys or flowers and such and tell eachother about them?)... Right now Grandma is the only e-mail he gets most of the time...

Here's something I found that may be of interest: water color paints, a regular wall. I am talking about those little circles of paint that come in kits or can be found at a dollar store... I set him up naked and with a cup of water, and let him finger paint a wall. He has one wall in his bedroom for this, and it adds color and spirit to the room. Best part - IT WASHES OFF EASILY!

Anyone do memory flash cards? Do your kids like them? I was thinking of printing off some pictures from the internet (cat, bird, dog, and such) with the word written on them, and play a memory games... also helping maybe with sight recognition of words?

What are some easy treats or snacks I can make with him? Simple things with few ingredients, where he can do pouring, mixing, etc?

Babyhood was fantastic and it all seemed to come to me intuativly. Now with childhood, I am totally in love with the experience and enjoy my son very much... but I am just finding it more difficult to come up with enriching and interesting experiences in our home. ESPECIALLY in the heat (as was mentioned in other people's posts).

Blocks are fun; we have a few different types. Dominos are great for stacking and ralley... but he has lost interest. Ideas on how to rekindle interest in these by creating new ways to play with them?

[LeftField]

I am enjoying this thread and all the stuff everyone is sharing.

Wrt play suggestions for the boxes, blocks, etc...I probably don't sound like too much fun, but I don't help them think of ways to use them. I want them to think of their own ways to use them and most of the time, their ideas are better than mine anyway. Personality, introversion/extraversion, parenting style all affect this, of course. I'm an introvert who is a mother of two introverts. So what works for one family does not work for another. But it's important to me that my kids use their imagination to amuse themselves. I think that boredom can be a very useful thing, because it forces us to be creative and it reinforces self-motivation. I don't know too much about extraverts, so this style might not work for everyone. I just know it works for us and I'm certainly not saying it's "the way" or anything. If I put a box out or leave popsicle sticks out, however, I go do something else while they think of ways to use them. If I were giving advice on a parent/child play situation, I would recommend putting it back on the child-- "what do you think?" I figure it's good exercise for the brain. And I fear that if I frequently recreated the play scenario to keep things interesting, that they would always follow me around and ask me to basically entertain them.

[LeftField]

I just thought of something else. I've noticed that my kids are more creative when their play space is largely empty and they have less to work with. I don't mean I take away all their toys or anything. But if there are Legos all over the floor, part of a puzzle is put together, and dress-up stuff is everywhere, there's a greater likelihood of them being restless or bickering. This is hard for me to do, because we have a cluttered house. I work on this all the time, but it's hard for us to keep our clutter down. But I've noticed that, for example, when we put all the toys away and I vacuum, they suddenly recreate the train-table on the floor or get out their bags and pretend to go to England or something. When there's less clutter, they seem to be able to focus on one project better. I think that this is actually a tenet of Montessori, something about a clear workspace.

Also, I periodically purge toys and I have rotated toys before. Less stuff and more space equates to higher creativity and better moods for them. It also reduces the chance of someone (i.e. my little guy) using the toy inappropriately.

Also, my kids tend to go through phases of intense toy/activity interest followed by periods of disinterest. My little one went through a really intense puzzle phase a few months back when all he wanted to do was solve puzzles. He would do one after the other at multiple times a day. Then, he sort of went "off" puzzles. Puzzles were left partially completed on the floor and he might even throw a piece. I put all the puzzles away in a neat little corner of their room. No one has touched them. Two nights ago, my little one came out with a puzzle box. Now, he'll be back into them for a while. They played with a box every day for a week or two. Now, the box is discarded in the other room. I'll recycle it, wait a while, and then when I put another box back out, they'll use it a lot. Their interests wax and wane. And they do better with less.

Just some thoughts...

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by embers

I have lots of cardboard boxes. Suggestions on something fun, maybe? We have stacked and crashed, and made forts... but a few days of that and now they are just boxes again

Oh, I don't come up with ideas for them for these. Once I decided to make BeanBean Soup and I stuck him in a box and played with him. He was very into it, really enjoyed the game and kept suggesting more ingredients ("Don't forget the garlic!" ) So yeah, I do play with them occasionally, and I eat the block cake and drink the invisible tea , but I don't come up with the ideas. If they start to lose interest in whatever they're doing, I have more suggestions; workbooks, random coloring books (I didn't buy these, but the kids have loads of fun with them so how can I complain?), fun books to read/play with. One of these days, they'll learn to entertain themselves and each other without destroying the house, and then my life will be complete....

[Ravin]

I probably would have started with engaging him in cleaning up the mess. Maybe had him put the books back on the shelf in order of size instead of by color. Do you have a yard? Slap some sunscreen on him, offer him water every 20 minutes, and let him see what sort of fun he can have outside.

It sounds like you've gotten a lot of other great ideas and had a fun afternoon!

[Fiestabeth]

My girls LOVE to build a fort in the house with one or two sheets and some clothespins. It's hilarious to me because they do all the things in the fort that they were formerly bored with - play with toys, read, pretend, etc. It just makes it cooler, somehow.