I'll post a little update. Other than being sick, I've been doing pretty well. I've been eating well and not overeating and feeling pretty positive even though I missed over a week of exercising due to illness. Then as soon as I seemed to recover from the cold/flu like thing I had, I started doing that mindless eating, and I'm feeling depressed. I'm trying to figure out if the same thing that causes the depression is what makes me want to eat, or if the bad eating is what causes the depression. My sister says that she thinks it is an attempt to self medicate, like you aren't even consciously aware of it, but there is some impulse to eat that is related to the depression. Ugh, I just don't know. I've been eating more sugar than normal, so maybe that is causing depression. Today I exercised and that made me feel better, but I didn't exercise Friday or Saturday and Saturday was my real lowpoint. Come to think of it, last Saturday was a real lowpoint too. Maybe it is just the weekend messing me up.
I'm also a little down because I've been reading childbirth books, and I am getting to the point where I really don't want to go to the hospital at all, but my husband is so out of tune with my feelings. Last week he got upset when I said I'm seriously going to try and do this without the medical interventions I had last time. He thinks that by not getting the epidural, I just want to put myself in great pain for no good reason, and I think he thinks I'm trying to be some sort of martyr. He got upset when I said I didn't want an epidural this time. Last time I said the same thing, but he said that I shouldn't rule it out and feel like a failure if I needed it. By the end of my pregnancy, he said that if I didn't get epidural, he would. And he said he wished I could check into the hospital for the last month of pregnancy because it would make him feel safer.
: We are so totally at odds in the birthing thing, but he has no understanding because he won't read the books I read. He thinks that I'm on message boards like this one and getting indoctrinated or something, and that I only see one side of things. Goodness, he is so completely one-sided and doesn't even realize it. I am feeling upset because of this, like how am I supposed to go through labor and birth with this guy. I feel like telling him he can just take our daughter and entertain her while I'm in labor, and he doesn't have to be there for the actual birth part.