'the gap...' (not the store, sillies!)

[hazeldust]

'The gap between who we are and who we want to be'

I have learned so much in these past few years. I know so much about the environment and i know of alot of things that i can do to live differently, make a positive impact on the earth and society. I know about veganism, reduce, reuse, and recycle. I know it is better to buy used and organic. I know that i can be 'low-income' and happy as long as my focus is clear and i can keep my wants reigned in. So what is the problem?
I feel so often that i am stuggling just to keep my head above water. I cant seem to restrict my eating, even though i know that i eat things that i shouldnt eat. well i am a vegetarian, and i eat alot of organic foods but i just cant seem to move foreward right now. i still waste so much, resort to tv when i am so tired and need a distraction for the kids, and eat way too much sugar. i dont know. sometimes i feel like i really have no faith, like i really do not believe in anything. it is frustrating. i can envision the person i want to be but the reality is that if you want to change, it will hurt ache be very uncomfortable for a long time. maybe the payoff will be so great but it is hard to bring that hurt upon myself. strange thing is that i hurt myself every day, only it is subtle, not a worldstopping empty hurt but sublte. thing is if i do not conquer this my kids will have to. how do i teach them about something i know noithing about?
well thatnx for listening. just wanted to get that off my chest. any input would be appreciated.

[Viola]

I don't have anything insightful to say other than I think it is healthy to do what you can when you can, try to live by your ideals as much as possible, but not to beat yourself up if you don't do things perfectly. Think about how your children will feel when they are grown. Will they be happy that you tried to be perfect and imposed perfection on them, or will they be happy that they had a mom who was able to relax some of her ideals at times? Not saying that you are trying to impose perfection on your kids, mind you; it sounds like you want to do the best you can and teach your children the importance of your beliefs.

I'm not sure if I'm even touching the point of your post as it sounds like you are more concerned about changing yourself and the difficulty therein. I see it that I came from a background much different than the one I'm trying to raise my daughter in, so already I've changed some and my daughter will benefit by that. I hope she will be even more likely to embrace my ideals and carry them farther than I can. Or she may strike out on a completely different path, who knows, but I like to think that the changes in myself will be magnified 10 fold in my offspring and that each generational change will reap benefits.

[Peppamint]

I feel your pain! The vending machine got the better of me at work the other day...

Talk about guilt. I look at it this way, I've done the best I can to be healthy and make my daughter the same way. Exercise, eating Organic when we can get it and afford it, not eating pre-packaged super processed foods, keeping toxic cleaners (etc) out of the house, breastfeeding until she weaned, cloth diapering etc.

I do believe we (dh, dd and I) are as healthy as we are because of these things.

Do what you can... no matter how much you do, you'll find that there's someone out there somewhere who's even crunchier than you! LOL