Originally Posted by ~*SugarMama*~
So could it be anxiety that is making DD want to make threats or talk about death constantly? Asking because, she hasn't yet experienced death. All our family members (knock on wood) are alive and healthy. Which is why it has me stumped on where she could have picked this up and learned to use her knowledge about it so cruelly.
Well, IMO (and not knowing your dd personally), I think it most definitely is Anxiety. Of course you have to remember that our kids probably react differently to anxiety than someone who only has anxiety without the SID also.
Here's my dd's story about anxiety from something she has never remotely experienced.
I hope I didn't already tell this story...oh well
When dd was 4 or 5 she dreampt up this guy who lived in the basement. His name was "Tim the Siren Man". Why was that his name? Because he put a siren on her. What does that mean? Still haven't figured that one out.
Anyway, he started out as just some guy she mentioned. The he turned into someone who "stole" her at night while we were sleeping. Even though we have a family bed, apparently we would sleep through it. Well, it turned out he did this almost every night and on top of that she started saying that he was her boyfriend. This freaked me out because I felt like she must have been watching Lifetime movies behind my back because where else would she get the idea that boyfriends hurt you---geez!
Anyway, she hated him and would pretend to call him on the phone and yell at him and tellhim not to steal her anymore and that he was no longer her boyfriend. She would need reassurance from us all the time that we would beat him up if we ever saw him and all kinds of stuff.
Now in therapy her and her therapist banished him to the north pole. This did help for a while although we had to keep reminding her all the time that he was stuck there. Then we put him in jail there. DH wanted to kill him off but I was too worried she'd freak out from that or just dream up a new thing in it's place.
This went on for years and I'm telling you that in her mind this is a real person.
In the first couple years I would have moments where I would wonder if someone actually did something to her at some point.
Anyway, it got better over the years but has never gone away to this day. She is 10 and still believes in this guy, but thank goodness it only comes up a few days here and there. For a while I even thought he was gone forever, but no such luck.
The psychiatrists have all said that "Tim"(she's dropped the "siren man" part) is just a sign and the focus of her anxiety. When she is generally anxious in her life "Tim" comes back.
We now know that she needs some kind of outlet for her anxiety or maybe to make her anxiety make more sense to her by putting a face to it.
Of coure since she thinks he is real, her friends think she is really weird when she brings it up and they don't really know what to do. And god forbid you ever say that he is pretend.
Thank goodness the days of having to get up twice a night, in the middle of the night, and check the locks on the doors and windows are over. And the thinking she sees him places.
Anyway, my point is that when you have anxiety, and especially our kids who have other stuff going on as well.....well, who knows what their minds can come up with.
Also, with the being cruel with the whole death thing--- well, dd will be really mean sometimes and she has said things to me like "I am going to hurt your body so bad that you are going to be bleeding everywhere". It is a bit shocking because my first thought is that she's going to end up in the looney bin as a teenager or adult.
Oh, and this coming from a child who will not watch any show that is not rated G and she refuses to watch it if there is any kind of bad guy at all. We don't allow her to watch any violence at all, but she wouldn't do it anyway.
So where would she come up with this mean, violent language? I have no idea.
OK, sorry it took me so long to say, yes, I think it's anxiety