Britishmum and tnrsmom - I can so relate to not enjoying nursing an older child. I really dislike the sensation of my 3.5 year old nursing these days.
I can date my own personal irritation with nursing dd1 to the middle of December - when I got pregnant (but about a month before I found out I was pregnant) - so I think it must have something to do with pregnancy hormones. Funnily enough, though, it doesn't bother me at all when dd2 nurses (she is almost 2).
Luckily, dd1 only really nurses at night...only very occasionally during the day. And I've also been lucky in that she's dropped the morning and daytime nursings herself without encouragement from me (that I've been aware of, although maybe she's picked up on some of my feelings?).
At night, I time it - I make sure I let her nurse for at least 5-6 minutes. I just don't let myself stop before then (although sometimes she'll pull off earlier herself, which is always nice!).
I figure that it's only 5 minutes of irritation for me, and it's really important to dd1. I can't imagine forcing her to stop nursing, you know? It just wouldn't feel right.
I'm sorry to hear, though, Britishmum, that it's still difficult 8 months later - I was hoping things had gotten easier for you.
I guess I also was hoping that my own negative feelings would ease up (they always have in the past, but not this time)...
Ah, well - it's still worth it. As much as I personally would like dd1 to wean before #3 arrives, it does make me sad as well, as I know how important nursing is for her, and I like that she continues to receive the benefits of at least some breastmilk each day...