I could use some help/prayers/good vibes

[peacechief]

Quick background - just found out Monday that I'm pregnant & for a couple days I was really scared to believe it. Then for a couple days I was doing really good - loving being pregnant and thinking that maybe this would be a sticky baby after all, and not feeling as scared. Then yesterday I went to meet with my midwife for the first time and didn't have a good experience - left there crying and feeling alone/not knowing what to do etc. She had also discovered that I have bacterial vaginosis, which freaked me out because I had heard that it can cause miscarriages - just what I was afraid of - "too good to be true..." She assured me that this early into the pregnancy it shouldn't be an issue, and gave me some meds to heal it up. But ever since that appointment, I'm so scared and feel like a miscarriage is inevitable. I know that this is not rational. I've got some anxiety issues, and have a really hard time believing that this could really happen for me - why should I get to have a pregancy that lasts when so many others have had miscarriages, etc. I also have dealt with depression, though I've been off my meds & more or less doing fine since the end of March this year. I'm wondering if the pregnancy hormones are messing with me, though.

so the past couple days my temps have been dropping (keep in mind that I have low temps usually - post-O is usually around 97.5) 98.2, 98.1, 98.0 & this morning 97.7.

I'm really scared. I called my midwife's office this morning, because she said to call any time. I got the answering service and told them why I was calling and since she wasn't able to reach the midwife right then, she said she'd page her. I still haven't heard anything. I had one tiny bit of bleeding - which she said might happen after having a pap done. I'm just really scared, and feel like it would be a miracle if this happens (and then I feel scared and guilty because maybe all this anxiety will cause a miscarriage... do you see the cycle?)

Yesterday was my friend's dd's first birthday, and today we went to a party for her. Another couple was there from our group of friends, and announced that she's pregnant, and proceeded to talk about it much of the time, including how they were so surprised - they weren't even really trying, etc....

I could just really use some prayers, good vibes, whatever your thing is. Both to get through this, and also that this baby would be a strong, sticky one and make it. And that I would know what to do. I don't want to keep calling the midwife and come out foolish, but I don't want to just let it go if there is something wrong and there's something that could be done about it.

thanks.

[praying_4_3rd_at36]

prayers for you annie!!! i feel alot of anxiety too- paranoia over everything-- you're better off asking her than letting the anxiety build--i'm sure everything will be fine-- my temp dipped yesterday and i was worried all day because of it and today i'm paranoid because i've been feeling nauseous since wed. and today- nothing--i'm not saying you are paranoid but just wanted you to know you're not alone with your feelings and anxiety-- keep your chin up and keep us posted-- lots of hugs to you!!

[pottermama]

:

Here is praying for a sticky baby. Just know that it not foolish to call the m/w if it makes you feel better. They understand. Also, maybe try telling yourself everyday, everything is how it should be today. This has helped me a lot. Don't get me wrong I still have days were I am totally freaked out about having a healthy full term pregnancy, but it helps to remind myself to take it day by day! My thoughts are with you!

[CarolynnMarilynn]

Hang in there Mama -- sticky vibes/prayers for you.

Carolynn

[Jes]

Sending you lots of sticky and good vibes.

[mommymoose]

STAY PUT, little miracle!!

[grapejuicemama]

I'm feelin' for ya, mama. Sending you some sticky vibes. Hang in there and

RELAX!

Do whatever you can to relax. That is what will be most helpful to your little growing one!

<------you in a few months. You'll have a big 'ol belly and a rolly-polly baby!

[koofie]

I am sending some sticky too. I hope you get a call and some answers soon. Sometimes the not knowing is so much worse than anything. I agree with pp - try to relax, put your feet up if possible. Watch a movie or tv, or read a novel. Anything to get your mind away from your worries.

[MoMommy]

Sending good thoughts for you, mama!!!!

[Christi2705]

Sending you thoughts and prayers.

[peacelovingmama]

Sending you tons of vibes for a strong, healthy babe.

[annettemarie]

Sending you hugs, prayers, and positive thoughts!

[peacechief]

thank you all so much : it has been a rough weekend... I hope my whole pregnancy isn't like this... (good lord!)

I'm doing better than I was. Yesterday my temp went back up to 98.0, and it was 98.0 again this morning (though when I obsessively took it again a second & third time, it was 97.9). So that's encouraging.

I never got a call back from my midwife, which is not cool. I don't know if the answering service just never gave her the message, or what? I know that it's possible that she could have been in a delivery when I called Saturday morning, but I would have thought that either she would have passed my question on to the other midwife in the practice, or at least called me once the delivery was over (she couldn't have been going non-stop since 9:00 a.m. Saturday morning!) Carolyn - you're a midwife, does this sound reasonable, or do I have a wrong idea of how things work?

The spotting seems to have stopped (where's the knock on wood smiley?), and things are feeling fairly normal, I guess?? It doesn't feel quite as inevitable that I'll lose this pregnancy (which, when I can think logically, I know is just the fear talking), so that's a blessing. I'm trying to breathe and relax and take good care of myself in the meantime.

My poor dh seems to have held up, too... He's going to come with me to my appt. with my counselor on Wed so hopefully she'll give us some good ideas of how we can deal with my anxieties better.

It was so sad - we were talking about it Saturday, which was the worst day, and he said he was so surprised because he thought this would be such a happy time I said, me too! It was for a couple days, and I think it will be again, though it's hard to see sometimes in the middle of the fear!

I am hoping to get the results of my first hcg screen today & then I go back in on Friday to have a second to make sure it's doubling.

I think I'm going to request to see the other midwife, too, so hopefully that'll go well :

thanks again so much for your support - it means a lot! you've got mine, too.

[CarolynnMarilynn]

She should have called you back shortly after your page-- I call people back immediately, unless I cannot, and then I pass it to another midwife. I do tell people if they don't get a response within 5-10 minutes to assume I didn't get the message and call me again, and then to tell the service to hunt me down if a third page hasn't worked. I would call her back and ask her what happened.

Can you go back for another hcg sooner to ease your mind? It should double every 48-72 hours and is the best predictor of a continuing pregnancy. I mean, you may want to wait, but I can't imagine waiting it out myself!

Still sending you sticky vibes and love,

Carolynn

[peacechief]

Originally Posted by CarolynnMarilynn

She should have called you back shortly after your page-- I call people back immediately, unless I cannot, and then I pass it to another midwife. I do tell people if they don't get a response within 5-10 minutes to assume I didn't get the message and call me again, and then to tell the service to hunt me down if a third page hasn't worked. I would call her back and ask her what happened.

Thanks - that's good to hear - well good and bad, I guess. I felt like it was probably silly to have been "bothering" her anyway... If my temp had gone down again, or something else, I probably would have called back. It doesn't give me a whole lot of confidence, though : I'll ask what happened.

Originally Posted by Carolynn Marilynn

Can you go back for another hcg sooner to ease your mind? It should double every 48-72 hours and is the best predictor of a continuing pregnancy. I mean, you may want to wait, but I can't imagine waiting it out myself!

No, I don't want to wait! That's just what she said to do. I'll ask about going in earlier when I call today.

Thanks for your help!

[CarolynnMarilynn]

No worries! And good luck!

Carolynn

[itsang]

Not in your DDC, but just sending you some & good vibes for a beautiful pregnancy.