Not allowed to scream???!!! - Page 3

[RubyV]

My midwife encourage the yelling, especially when my labor became complicated and I had to stop pushing. She told me to scream through the contractions.

I also remember the nurses freaking out when I put my hand down and streached myself while pushing. My midwife said "good going!"

Goddess bless her.

[elanorh]

I didn't feel any urge to yell or scream or anything ... I think it was mostly a quiet birth. I just did what felt natural throughout the process (I did ask the nurse at one point if I should be shifting breathing techniques since I'd gone on to the "next" stage, and she said, "If it's working for you, why change?" ). She also told me that some of the other nurses were wondering if I realized I was in labor. DH says I moaned "a little" while pushing. I can actually remember the sounds of the nurses setting up in the corner while I was in active labor, so I must not have been very loud ...?

I think it depends on the mom. I bet the "noise" scares the staff (worrying that you're going to get out of control etc.) -- and therefore they think by squelching the noise, they'll be preventing mom from panicking. Kind of like putting a bandaid on a sprained arm and thinking it'll help.

I was fortunate, the OB and hospital staff were really great with us. It probably helped that I was certain of my plan, and had a relatively quick labor (arrived at 12:30, birth four hours later). A lot less time to 'interfere.'

[tullyleague]

Never heard of that. I screamed as loud as I wanted to. In fact, the nurse encouraged it.

[arlecchina]

I was telling my best friend about this thread in an outrage and while she had 2 hospital births she was pleased with, at diff hospitals, she said she was also told this both times - NO NOISE!

[valeria_vi]

Originally Posted by CryPixie83

Ya mean like how my midwives chastised me for yelling (roaring? ) while they "forced" me into squatting ( I *hate* squatting, it's painful for me). They told me it's ineffective for pushing... well excuse the outta me!

Or how as soon as my dd was born my dh and I began sobbing and they told us to be quiet because we would scare my dd (who, btw was completely calm).

: Like those stories?

and all that from hb midwives??? yikes!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I was loud with both my births the first one in the hospital I was the only one in labor that was unmediated I think the nurses did say something about scaring the other patients but it didn't register at the time. I did bury my face in the pillow a time or 2 tho just cause it was bothering me I was so loud : I did end up tho not being able to talk very well the next day very hoarse.

Second time was in a great birth center with mw and she only told me how to scream so that I wouldnt hurt my throat so bad. She kept reminding me lower instead of the high pitched scream. I still ended up having a sore throat but it wasnt as bad since most of the time I remembered to go lower. I found that reminding myself of doing that took my mind off the ctx a bit as well.

What ever makes you comfortable go for it.

[CryPixie83]

Originally Posted by valeria_vi

and all that from hb midwives??? yikes!

Mmmhmm... I really looked up to them until my birth. They were super crunchy, had 6, 10 and 4(?) kids respectively and were so kind and well-educated.

Ahhh well, like I said, I'm totally happy to have been steered towards the UC path (what I wanted in the first place, but it took a lot to get dh to agree to a homebirth with midwives so...)

[courtenay_e]

Originally Posted by BookGoddess

THAT is horrible!! :

If that were me I would have 1) bitten the nurse's hand and probably called her some unladylike word; 2) bitten DH's hand and he would have been in the dog house for sooooooo long afterwards. My DH would never do that. He knows better!

You know? In my experience, I don't think it'd matter whether the rooms were soundproofed. I think that the determining factor is usually that the practitioners are simply not accustomed to and/or in agreement with (ie: too much work for them...) natural birth. It's the PRACTITIONERS that are bothered by the "noise" of natural childbirth. The other women in labor on the floor could usually care less!

[CEG]

When I was in labor with my DS the nurse thought I wasn't really in labor and was quite rude to me- because I wasn't making any noise. My MW later told me that. My son was born an hour after the nurse's shift ended and I think she felt bad because she came to the postpartum unit to see us the next day. So she would have been a good nurse for some of you loud ladies

[CryPixie83]

It's the PRACTITIONERS that are bothered by the "noise" of natural childbirth. The other women in labor on the floor could usually care less!

Maybe they're afraid loud women would feel empowered, actually follow their instincts... that'd cut their intervention rate to shreds. Or maybe they're afraid loud women would upset the formula reps who like to hang around, or the visitors to the ward.

[valeria_vi]

Originally Posted by CryPixie83

Mmmhmm... I really looked up to them until my birth. They were super crunchy, had 6, 10 and 4(?) kids respectively and were so kind and well-educated.

wow! this is ... I dunno ... I just don't know what to say. How then does one ever figure out what a midwife will really be like when you're in labor?

I participate in another discussion board and there's a lady there who I generally disagree with, but we do seem to agree on one thing. if your pregnancy is univentful, you will most likely not know your OB's/MWs real "face" until it's actually labor time.

seems to apply to you just right. unfortunately.

[sophmama]

Wow - I didn't know it was so common to be asked to be quiet. I do think someone told me during my 1st birth to focus my energy on my vagina and may have vaguely remembered being told that letting all the air out my mouth relaxed my diaphram muscle and made my pushing less effective - but I barely remember it. I vocalized anyways. A bit more embarrassingly than I had expected.

Is it because most women get epidurals and many get C/S's that doctor's aren't used to vocalizing? Is vocalizing only a part of natural childbirth? I know for a C/S it wouldn't be but don't they let the epidural wear off for the woman to push?

[Max'sMama]

Originally Posted by valeria_vi

How then does one ever figure out what a midwife will really be like when you're in labor?

I agree that is why it's IMPERATIVE to get references from the midwives. I didn't but knew at least half a dozen women that had used the midwives I chose, so I felt comfortable picking mine!

[Kidzaplenty]

Subbing. :

[valeria_vi]

Originally Posted by Max'sMama

I agree that is why it's IMPERATIVE to get references from the midwives. I didn't but knew at least half a dozen women that had used the midwives I chose, so I felt comfortable picking mine!

I didn't know anybody who had a hb. I had nobody's recommendations to go on. I just tried listening carefully to them during an interview and ask quiestions. same for the references.
one of the MWs stressed how much she loved being in close contact with the mom, guide her through relaxation and stuff. He reference told me that they were left alone with dh when they needed it, but I really wanted to be left alone as much as possible. I stated my reasons why right during the interview. but she was kinda fluid in her answer telling me how she felt the mom intuitively by being so close to her and stuff. So even though the reference should have eliminated my doubts, it didn't. this mw seemed absolutely great, but there were a couple things like this one that just didn't make me feel at ease.
i ended up picking someone else. she seemed to be more willing to be guided by me. in the end I never got to find out how my chosen mw would have been during the birth - it up being a surprise unassisted and I feel that it was the best thing that could have happened to me personally. something to think about for the next time. at least, I know for sure that if we decide to have a mw again, I will not compromise on my need to be left alone as much as possible.

[mezzaluna]

my doula and i had talked a lot beforehand about using the voice and breath during labor. she had suggested to me that low-pitched vocalizations were more helpful than high-pitched ones... i'm not talking about volume here, just pitch. during labor she reminded me of this when my voice started getting away from me, and as i guided my voice back from shrieks to groans and roars, i could feel myself getting calmer and more under control. this was done in a very sympathetic way, though - she wasn't ordering me to do anything i wanted to do, just reminding me to help myself keep from panicking by changing my vocalization, not stopping it.

after i delivered, the OB was mashing my uterus and then stitching me up after extensive 2nd degree tearing (she was a very hands-on OB during delivery ) and i was really all out screaming for this. i was done having a baby, had felt that sweet relief from contractions and was very upset at finding myself in pain again and distracted from being with my baby. she had given me pit through an IV post-delivery to try to make my uterus clamp down (which wasn't the problem as it turns out)... so i was having contractions again for no reason. anyway, plenty to scream about... and the OB got upset at me for screaming and told me it didn't hurt that much... but to me it hurt a lot more than l&d, and i told her she should do what she needed to do, but i would do what i needed to do - scream! i was so hoarse after that!!