or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Co-sleeping and the Family Bed › Ok this might make you so mad
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Ok this might make you so mad - Page 3

post #41 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by kdf
About there basement, it is finished but I haven't seen it since they finished it so I don't know what it looks like.
Oops, sorry for mis-quoting you. I guess I misunderstood something you said.

Christie
post #42 of 97


this makes me want to go hug my children.


honestly, it really is neglect and ought to be reported. and people wonder why children are so screwed up these days??
post #43 of 97
I could not sleep last night thinking about that little baby all alone and probably scared. Please do something quick and let us know how it turns out. I kept thinking I wanted her to be all safe and snug in bed with us.

Even if nothing physically happens to her, the mental aspect is just as traumatic. Babies need their Mama and Dada to be close by and responsive to them.
post #44 of 97
Thread Starter 

Update

Ok so my dh called the husband and he basically asked for some clarification on what they are doing. So here it comes, the baby sleeps in his crib upside until midnight then the mom feeds him then they put him in the basement in a room all bundled up for the rest of the night. They do have a monitor with him. If he crys more then 10-15 mins they go check on him , the feber method. Why they are doing it is b/c she is going back to work in a month and she can't be waking up 3 times a night. Why he is in the basement is b/c he was crying so much that he was keeping them awake and keeping the husband's sister( who is living with them) awake. First IMO tell the sister to go to the basement, second you still have a monitor on him so you still hear him cry so what is the difference if he is upstair or downstairs. The mom wanted to ferberize him and put him on a bottle at the same time. But the dad said only one at a time. Personally I would of put him on a bottle that way the dad ( since he will be at home with the baby) could get up at night and the baby won't have to cry and be by himself. The husband did jokingly ask my dh if he was going to call CPS on him. My dh said no but we were very concern with their method. I don't agree with it at all. So that is the scoop with them. Maybe they will think about their method now that we are questioning it.
post #45 of 97
I really hope they do reconsider the horrible, selfish things they are doing. I am just about to cry sitting here thinking about that poor child! If the mama is so concerned with getting enough sleep she should not have had a child!

My dd has just started waking very frequently at night (she's trying to learn to walk!) and do think I would do something like that? No, never! She's still sleeping with me and DH and we are just cuddling her and dealing with the deprivation!
How horrible!
post #46 of 97
Ugh that's horrible. People wonder why kids are afraid of the dark and have night terrors. That makes me so upset. I can hardly imagine having an upset child alone in a room because they're hungry and afraid
post #47 of 97
my sister used to strap her dd into her high chair on the ground floor so they couldn't hear her crying but knew she'd be "safe." She honestly sees nothing wrong with this. It just doesn't seem to occur to some people that babies are people.
post #48 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by Starlitlexy
Ugh that's horrible. People wonder why kids are afraid of the dark and have night terrors. That makes me so upset. I can hardly imagine having an upset child alone in a room because they're hungry and afraid
FWIW, nightmares and night terrors are different things. My son had severe night terrors from under 1 year old (starting out every night) and gradually tapered off around 8 years old. He was held all the time, exclusively breastfed and co-slept from birth. Not only that but he had a trauma-free homebirth and no immunizations or illnesses.

Now nightmares are another story.

Obviously I can't even imagine doing something so very disconnected from my baby. I think society in general and our birth culture are a huge part of people disconnecting from their children enough to cause them emotional and physical harm. It's easy to say this mom is just selfish (and maybe she is) but I see people like this as being severely disconnected from their emotions, their own true needs and especially their babies.

Laura
post #49 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by kdf
Why they are doing it is b/c she is going back to work in a month and she can't be waking up 3 times a night.


My 16mo still wakes up a couple of times a night and I've been working full-time since my maternity leave ended at 12 weeks. Mind you, I'm a zombie at work some days, but better that than leaving him to cry.

I have to admit that I have some friends who used a variation of sleep training that worked : but in those cases it was more like "leave him whining for a couple of minutes, then come back and cuddle him, then leave again," which I don't think is *that* terrible.

ETA: I'm not advocating that kind of method either, I just wanted to point out that I think there's a wide range of forms CIO can take, and there's a big difference between letting the kid fuss a little while you stand at the door, and putting him to sleep in the basement so you can't hear him cry for long periods of time. I know people who did that, and without a monitor, too - so the kid cried for HOURS.
post #50 of 97
That is so horrible, I don't even know what to say. How could anyone do such a thing to a child?
post #51 of 97
We know a sick sad family who actually made fun of us because we 'baby' E too much: I didn't know being an attached attentive parent was babing your child but these are the same people who 'forgot' to turn on there monitior one night ( there son was 10 WEEKS!!!! ) and joked about how it was a mircale that he 'slept throught the night' We stopped hanging out with them because 1. they are iggnorant 2. they are bitchie 3. they made fun of me and called me a tree hugging hippie because we CD and are organic and AP. Better off with out them. I would consider that abuse. What she has a fever and sick, or teething, or has her arm caught in a slate and breaks her shoulder and arm trying to get it out? I would ask authorities what the law says about it to give you and that poor speechless child peace of mind.
post #52 of 97
UGH! There are SO many people out there that would love to have babies and can't and then...there's people like this. That poor baby!
post #53 of 97
Ugh. I felt like puking when I read this.

My almost two year old still wakes at least once a night if not 2-3x for something to eat and a cuddle (on the couch.. can't be in bed.. lol). I can't imagine denying her that!
post #54 of 97


I don't think I'd call CPS, but those people wouldn't be my friends anymore.
post #55 of 97
I'm sorry to say... but I would be the first one to call child services... actually I'm not sorry!! : How can someone do such a thing and call themselves a mother? I freak out when my ds falls asleep at night in his crib (in his nursery) and that's only down the hall!! I would ask if she atleast has a monitor just incase the baby crys for so long and can't breath... but that would be a stupid question because she obviously doesn't want to hear her. My stomach is turning right now!! That behavior is disgusting!! This is a huge if you ask me!!

If that were my friend (and thank God she's not) I would print out all of these comments and give them to her... maybe it'll knock some sense into her!!
post #56 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithful Mommy
I'm sorry to say... but I would be the first one to call child services... actually I'm not sorry!! : How can someone do such a thing and call themselves a mother? I freak out when my ds falls asleep at night in his crib (in his nursery) and that's only down the hall!! I would ask if she atleast has a monitor just incase the baby crys for so long and can't breath... but that would be a stupid question because she obviously doesn't want to hear her. My stomach is turning right now!! That behavior is disgusting!! This is a huge if you ask me!!

If that were my friend (and thank God she's not) I would print out all of these comments and give them to her... maybe it'll knock some sense into her!!


Poor wee little baby...makes me cry

I'd defo call cps...give a voice to the voiceless
post #57 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by kdf
Why they are doing it is b/c she is going back to work in a month and she can't be waking up 3 times a night.
I hate it when moms use work as an excuse to treat their babies this way. There's plenty of us that work and refuse to CIO sleep train and find other ways to cope with night wakings.

Kim
post #58 of 97
That sounds like child abuse to me
post #59 of 97
Oh, God, that poor little baby! My heart hurt just reading this. I'm sorry, but there is no excuse for doing that to a little one.
post #60 of 97
I hate to say it, but CPS will probably do absolutely nothing. I have a friend who use to work for them.

Anyway, I can't help be think about growth spurts. A child goes through a growth spurt and needs nurishment. Is this couple even feeding this child enough before bedtime (oh, and I bet bedtime is a certain time each night)...my brother and SIL went through this whole thing about baby should sleep in crib..they got some crazy idea about a vacuum cleaner running and to this day, their daughter runs from the vacuum cleaner and she's 4 yo!

This is sad. All you can do is talk to them and offer advice...you'll know whether they want to hear it or not, because you'll never see them again if they don't agree.

I say..send the Sis down stairs...in the basement, she's old enough to take care of herself.

I have a friend who is preggo right now..she says that as soon as babe starts sleeping through the night, she's taking her upstairs...I have a feeling that they are going to be really detacted...makes me sad and I just may loose a friendship over it...

I wish all those parenting books about crying it out, sleeping through the night would just disappear....

I'm sad.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Co-sleeping and the Family Bed
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Co-sleeping and the Family Bed › Ok this might make you so mad