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Leaving baby in hotel room? - Page 6

post #101 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by rzberrymom
I mean no one I know sits around worrying about maid-snatching babies, surveillance cameras in B&B's that lead to baby theft, random intruders, fires, seizures, what if, what if what if. This legacy of fear you leave for your children is far more likely to cause harm than any of these ridiculously remote scenarios.

I highly recommend the books Culture of Fear and The 100 Most Dangerous Things in Everyday Life (the list may surprise you).
I agree with this, I'm surprised to see how much fear there is on this thread.

I would leave the baby in the room, and bring a baby monitor. It's true the babe might be more likely to wake in the room than at home, and you don't want her waking in unfamiliar surroundings without you around, and panicking.

But seizures, fires, baby-snatching... these are things I would not be concerned about while you enjoy one dinner to yourselves.
post #102 of 138
I also wanted to add if you do the monitor thing be sure to check it. there is a thread in parents and partners where someone was talking about doing this. she found out after several nights that her monitor wasn't actually picking up stuff in her room. I am not saying don't do it, just do a quick check to make sure you are actually hearing what is going on in your room.
post #103 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by rzberrymom
I mean no one I know sits around worrying about maid-snatching babies, surveillance cameras in B&B's that lead to baby theft, random intruders, fires, seizures, what if, what if what if. This legacy of fear you leave for your children is far more likely to cause harm than any of these ridiculously remote scenarios.

I highly recommend the books Culture of Fear and The 100 Most Dangerous Things in Everyday Life (the list may surprise you).

:
post #104 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelgianSheepDog

How would *I* feel if I were helpless as an infant and I happened to wake up in a strange place, all alone, with the people I depend on nowhere in sight? I'd be terrified, and the 10 minutes it took them to trudge upstairs and rescue me would be the longest 10 minutes in my life. And the baby monitor wouldn't do a thing to make *me* feel better! It's there to make my parents feel better about leaving me all alone and vulnerable.

We talk a lot on here about "attachment."

Baby monitors are the epitome of detachment parenting and American excess. You leave an electronic transmitter with your baby so you can run to the other end of a 3000 sq ft house while anxiously counting the poor kid's respiration rate. It is a device that is at once a fearmonger, a false sense of security, and a ludicrous waste of money.
I am just and at your comments. So you are against parents using baby monitors even in their own homes? I think I need clarification on exactly how you think parents are using baby monitors to practice detachment parenting. Because right now, I think you are out of your tree!

When my babies were infants, I slung them. When they got older, I put them down for naps or bedtime on the family bed, and I go do some of the many chores that get delayed while they are awake, since I am busy being such an attached, hands-on mama. I do not have a huge house. It is perhaps 1200 square feet. I close the bedroom door while they sleep, since we have dogs, a doorbell, and numerous other things that might wake my less-than-comalike sleepers before they have finished. They need dark and white noise to sleep.

I prefer to get to my baby as soon as he or she wakes up, not when the fussing gets loud enough to hear through a closed door. That is the proper use of a baby monitor, IMO. I hear the rustling of sheets, a sigh, or "Mama?" and I am there in moments. Bounding up the stairs. I'm not anxiously counting respirations; I'm thrilled that I have this technology which allows me to be in contact with my child even when he or she is asleep in another room. What could possibly be wrong with that?
post #105 of 138
Oh, OP, I think you should see how it is when you get there. Bring a monitor, and if it's a little cozy place where you can lock your door and be down the hall in less than a minute, you can probably feel comfortable doing this. I would. If it's a big sprawling house where it would take longer to get there, I'd try one of the other suggestions mentioned.
post #106 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lula's Mom
I am just and at your comments. So you are against parents using baby monitors even in their own homes? I think I need clarification on exactly how you think parents are using baby monitors to practice detachment parenting. Because right now, I think you are out of your tree!

When my babies were infants, I slung them. When they got older, I put them down for naps or bedtime on the family bed, and I go do some of the many chores that get delayed while they are awake, since I am busy being such an attached, hands-on mama. I do not have a huge house. It is perhaps 1200 square feet. I close the bedroom door while they sleep, since we have dogs, a doorbell, and numerous other things that might wake my less-than-comalike sleepers before they have finished. They need dark and white noise to sleep.

I prefer to get to my baby as soon as he or she wakes up, not when the fussing gets loud enough to hear through a closed door. That is the proper use of a baby monitor, IMO. I hear the rustling of sheets, a sigh, or "Mama?" and I am there in moments. Bounding up the stairs. I'm not anxiously counting respirations; I'm thrilled that I have this technology which allows me to be in contact with my child even when he or she is asleep in another room. What could possibly be wrong with that?



I am in the process of reading The Attachment Parenting Book, by Dr. Sears, for the 2nd time. When I read these forums I often hear the chapter of "Balance and Boundaries" replaying in my head. Being able to go to the bathroom, or shower, without wearing a sling restores my sense of balance so that I CAN be an attached mom, and a damn good one at that.

Power to those who never put their child down, or never leave their side, even while they're sleeping. But to coin the technology that allows me to be only 15 feet away and hear my daughter before she screams as a "detachment parenting" tool is, well, out of their tree!
post #107 of 138
We do live in a culture of fear- unfortunately, so do B&B owners, maids (hate that word), policemen, judges, etc. People don't look kindly upon infants being left in what is considered a public place. Even with a monitor, the baby is still technically alone in a room, unsupervised. So, even if you're not worried about kidnappings, fires, etc- the general public is, and they'll report you to authorities who agree with them. People get VERY high up on their horse when it comes to what they perceive to be child neglect.

I would not feel comfortable having my baby out of my sight in a place that I'm not familiar with. And I wouldn't trust myself to hear every little rustle or squeak on a baby monitor that may signal baby waking up in a dining room where other people are talking, clanging glasses, forks and knives. There's just something about this situation that gives me an uncomfortable feeling, I can't really put my finger on it but it just feels irresponsible- I'm not saying you are an irresponsible mother for considering it, just that the situation itself doesn't sit right with me.

Baby monitors have their use. I've had parties in my house where friends decided to stay past our usual bedtime (normally we all go to sleep together). So once DD stayed up as late as she could, I put her down and put the monitor on so I could stay up with our guests and still hear every noise she made- our townhouse is not big and the monitor is very clear, you can hear a pin drop.
post #108 of 138
Oy vey. I'm too much of a worry wort to leave baby in the room. I don't think that means that you CAN'T do it though. Like others said, it really depends on the place. Honestly though, if there is any way you could get a trusted person to watch baby that might be the best way to go. You deserve a night out, and leaving baby for an hour or two with someone you trust will make baby feel better and YOU feel better. Of course thats just my 2 cents.

As for being a bad AP parent, color me bad because my back hurts after about 10 minutes of babywearing while walking. We're not talking about a little pain, we're talking full-on gimme the advil or a hard drink I'm going to puke if it doesn't get better soon pain. If I babywear I can only sit with baby which just seems like nonsense to me. So we go out, I'll take him out of the stroller to play and feed and then like a terrible horrible mommy I put him back so we can actually have a life together that does not revolve around moving from one chair to another.

I also can't bf because of a life-threatning infection I had after the birth of the baby, and I feel AWFUL about it, all the time...every day, but I have to go on with life and be the best mom my body will let me be.

Mostly I think there is an incredible amount of judgement being passed here. Its hubris to act like you've got all the answers or that there is only one way to be a great mother. You had a question and that is FINE. Isn't that what this is all about, "mothers helping mothers?" Sometimes it seems that the boards become more of a "mothers shaming mothers" system of one-upmanship. Again, thats just MY 2 cents.
post #109 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by North_Of_60


I am in the process of reading The Attachment Parenting Book, by Dr. Sears, for the 2nd time. When I read these forums I often hear the chapter of "Balance and Boundaries" replaying in my head. Being able to go to the bathroom, or shower, without wearing a sling restores my sense of balance so that I CAN be an attached mom, and a damn good one at that.

Power to those who never put their child down, or never leave their side, even while they're sleeping. But to coin the technology that allows me to be only 15 feet away and hear my daughter before she screams as a "detachment parenting" tool is, well, out of their tree!
: to both of you .

Our monitor lets baby sleep peacefully in his crib where HE likes it and we can get a few things done. We know he's up when we hear the mobile music playing - he always reaches over and turns it on when he wakes up.

I don't think I'd go with the B&B/Monitor/Dinner thing though - but I'm a big ole' worrier.
post #110 of 138
I'd leave my healthy baby, during night time uninterrupted sleep, with a monitor in a bedroom in a small inn if I could hear the baby through the monitor in common areas of the inn. I'd rather do that than have a stranger in the room unsupervised babysitting my child.

If I lived in an apartment complex, I'd go next door for dinner after bedtime too, if I could hear the monitor. How exactly is that different from living in a McMansion and going down to the kitchen for a meal?

Weird and awful stuff is done by acts of nature and human, but it's few and far between. We have to start living, and look at what risks are realistic.
post #111 of 138
I would take a monitor, and adapt to the specific situation of that specific B&B. Perhaps even let the owners of the B&B know that your baby is alone in the room, so that, in case of an emergency, if you can't get to your baby fast enough, someone else is aware and possibly could.

Talking to the owners about it would do a couple things: a) they could advise you against it for legal reasons; b) they are possibly closer in event of an emergency, c) if there is someone available at the B&B to babysit, the owners can offer their services.
post #112 of 138
I wouldn't be able to eat.

I'm also not of the mind that it's harmful for a baby or young child to sleep in a stroller/restaurant booth/sling instead of a bed if nap or bedtime falls when you're out and about.

Leaving either of my kids unattended in a strange place would terrify me.
post #113 of 138
Quote:
Baby monitors are the epitome of detachment parenting and American excess. You leave an electronic transmitter with your baby so you can run to the other end of a 3000 sq ft house while anxiously counting the poor kid's respiration rate. It is a device that is at once a fearmonger, a false sense of security, and a ludicrous waste of money.


Um, really? Seriously?

After 3 kids I DESERVE to have a shower, check my email, read a book, etc with my kiddos sleeping blissfully in their beds. I work too darn hard to NOT use a baby monitor and let them sleep in their comfortable sleepy places while I enjoy my evening and unwind (as I do not go to bed at 7pm and they do not like to stay up too late).

I don't use a monitor anymore as my youngest is 16 months old and the only one left in the family bed most nights, but it was a lifesaver for most of the past 5 years. Not because I am "detatched" but because I spend every one of their waking moments with them and wouldn't mind a little time off now and again in the evenings. I kind of like spending time with dh too. Maybe at 6 weeks or so into this job you aren't at that place yet, and maybe you never will want to be away from your baby for a minute or two, but less judgement for those of us that do want the luxury of peeing or bathing alone once in a while would be nice

And OP, I totally agree with the suggestion to judge the situation once you get there and have a plan B. Good idea no matter what when you are travelling as children often react differently to things away from home. There are so many different kinds of B&Bs out there, much would depend on the actual place in question.

Enjoy your holiday no matter what you decide!
post #114 of 138
another "no way" vote here
post #115 of 138
Absolutely not... Like somebody else suggested, what if the maid or an employee that had access to your room saw you leave him and snatched him up.
One time I was at a hotel with my sister and our kids, there were a bunch of people running around searching for their kid. I would rather have my baby in my sight at all times than have to search for her like that.
post #116 of 138
It's possible that if you left your baby upstairs he would have a seizure, a maid would snatch him, or there would be a fire. It's possible you'll have a car crash on your way to the Bed and Breakfast, or that there'll be a shoot out in the restaurant, or that it'll be hit by an asteroid...

I totally agree with what other posters have said about how damaging it can be living in constant fear. The motto I try to live by is 'as safe as necessary, not as safe as possible' - if it was me and my healthy baby usually slept through the night I'd set up a baby monitor, maybe run upstairs to check on him inbetween courses if I'm feeling particularly paranoid, and enjoy my meal. The worst that's likely to happen is that baby wakes up and I'm not there instantly.
post #117 of 138
Oh, how I missed this thread. I wonder what ever happened?
post #118 of 138
i wouldn't.

mmmmmmmmmmmaybe if i had a baby monitor with me.
but, i don't know.

id be worried about the RARE events like fire, earthquake, etc
post #119 of 138
okay, so this is a really old thread, but let's be serious for a second.

Do you leave your babes to nap? I mean, I often nap with mine, but I also sometimes turn on the baby monitor, which picks up every little sound, and let them sleep so I can get things like laundry done. I actually for joy when they're both asleep at the same time. And in our last house, which was huge, I'd even go downstairs, or outside to hang laundry on the line. I could hear the birds chirping outside on the baby monitor, even with the windows closed. There's no way someone could have come in and snatched my baby without me hearing it on the monitor.

If I were in this situation, I would wait and see what I thought when I got there. If I felt like it would be okay, I might even ask the inkeeper if it would be okay. At a small B&B, there is no housekeeping staff on at that time at night, even most Marriots only have 2 or 3 people on after 5. Chances are, the place is run by a sweet couple who like people and wanted to have lots of visitors.

I'll bet it would be just fine to leave your soundly sleeping baby for a relaxing dinner, especially with your baby monitor in hand, so you could run upstairs at the slightest noise. And if the inkeepers knew you were doing this, they wouldn't accuse you of child abandonment. I don't think any sane police officer would either if you had the monitor on and in hand. You're in the same building, afterall.
post #120 of 138
No way.
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