What do you think of this trend? - Page 6

[wonderwahine]

Originally Posted by Greenie

You cut off my sentance! I'm not talking about that. I'm obviously an awful person for feeling like nursing shouldn't be an act of defiance. Nurse your baby! I do all the time. But, don't look around at people passing by like you *want* them to say something!

maybe we arn't looking at you because we want you to say something, maybe we are juts looking around.......why should i have to have my head down and make no eye contact with anyone simply because im nursing?

[Greenie]

Originally Posted by elanorh

I am offended by people who talk with their mouths full of food.
I am offended by people who wrap themselves up in the American flag to justify things.
I am offended by people who litter.
I am offended by people who swear and/or use derogatory language towards others, especially children/women.
I am offended by our neighbors across the street who smoke outdoors and whose cigarette butts blow into our yard.
I am offended by the fact that our (dear sweet) overweight neighbor persists in wearing tube tops, deep into the winter [and actually concerned about her financial wellbeing too - surely that's why she does so?].
I am offended by people who think bf is dirty, gross, sexual, etc.
I am offended by people who cough or sneeze (or pick their noses) and then handle produce at the grocery store.

OMG!! Litterbugs are the worst!! :

Also, sometimes I wish that clothing manufacturers wouldn't make certain clothing styles in certain sizes.. Glad I'm not alone!

I don't think that anyone can go through life without offending anyone. Also, I don't feel offended that a mom doesn't use a cover, or wants to use one. Doesn't matter to me. I'm just glad that there are moms out there who want to give their children the best and actually do the research and ask the right questions.

Oh, and Roman's Mom, it's a certain look that I'm talking about. It's this look that says "I double dog dare you to say something to me about what I'm doing because I'd just *love* to cause a scene." That's what I'm talking about.

Trust me, when I am given the opurtunity to NIP, I do, and with pride. I smile, look people in the eye when they pass, and have an easygoing manner about myself. I'm also fairly discreet in doing so, and have had no complaints about it.

[RubyV]

I find the idea that I must cover up to be increadible offensive. Particularly since I an one of those with enourmous breasts.

When we constantly insist that women cover up while nursing, we reinforce the idea that nursing is an act that involves activity that is distasteful. It also drives home the idea that nursing has to be a complicated production, ie "I can't find a blanket, so I can't nurse", or, one that I have heard used, "it's too hot to cover up so I'll give a bottle".

As lactivists, we should try to normalize the act of feeding.

Greenie, when you make comments about large breasted women, I want you to consider for a moment that the fear of such comments is a reason why many women choose not to bf: discomfort at how their bodies may be offensive to others, which is sad.

Early on, I was a DD. When you are 4'11 and 120lbs, breasts that large can be tricky to manage. I would never had been able to nurse my daughter properly if I covered up.

As my dh pointed out to me recently, kudos to the makers of Hooter Hiders if it gets more women to nurse. Whatever it takes to make you feel comfortable in your nursing relationship.

But don't make other women feel that your way is the only way.

[julie128]

I think that if nursing covers help women feel comfortable nursing in public that they are a good thing. I also think that as more women nurse and nurse in public that mothers will stop using them eventually.

[CalebsMama05]

Originally Posted by Greenie

You cut off my sentance! I'm not talking about that. I'm obviously an awful person for feeling like nursing shouldn't be an act of defiance. Nurse your baby! I do all the time. But, don't look around at people passing by like you *want* them to say something!

All I'm saying is that this attitude gives BFing a bad name. At this point, I just want people to leave me alone when I'm feeding my child. I don't want anyone staring me down or saying nasty things to me, and I think that giving people the stare down isn't going to speak good things of Lactivists and nursing moms in general.

I am sorry this offends me.

i DO look around when nursing my son...and I do so DEFIANTLY. and you know why? because if I DON'T I get blasted. the dirtiest looks and remarks ever. I have to act like I have EVERY RIGHT to feed my child and will blast anyone who tells me otherwise or I will be told to stop. and in my state NIP isn't protected. (if someone knows of a link saying we have a law here that it is i'd love to see it)

so yes I do look around in a defiant manner. b/cuz no one messes with someone who knows who they are, what they are doing, and don't have a problem with it.

and while I agree its sad this culture breeds people *like that* it is because of the culture.

and even a suggestion that I shouldn't look around defiantly as if i want someone to say something bothers me b/cuz I have been there. I NIP'd ONCE with ds#1. I tried to expose nothing adn looked no one in the eyes...after all...I had a BABY sucking on my NIPPLE! and I got told to LEAVE. *that* wasn't welcome there (i wont say where) and spent most of his four months of nursing, cramped in the car feeling like a pariah. this time i look around look people in the eyes and am comfortable NIP and have NIP'd EVERYWHERE and have had no one say anything. and even if they are *thinking* things...I really don't care what they think. my son gets fed and that is what matters to me.

[wonderwahine]

the only nebraska law is for you to be excused from jury duty

[Snookler]

I was having dinner at my aunt's house last weekend when it came time to feed my ds. This, of course(?), brings up the topic of NIP, and my aunt tells me that she has an issue when small children (8 or younger) are present, because other parents should not have to explain what is going on to their children.
I was rather taken back (in that I was bf at the time) and tried to explain, in my calmest mother voice, that other children are exactly the people that need to opportunity to know and understand what is happening is an extirely normal, and non-sexual act. I then felt the need to ask her if she enjoyed eating exclusively in the bathroom or a car when she was away from home, since that's exactly where is was suggested nmothers go so as not to offend small children. (Maybe I went too far) It's not about my right to show my breasts, it's about my ds right to eat. period.
Living in S. Florida, using a cover-up has never really been an option for me, as we both couldn't stand the extra layer of fabric. I just had to find a way to get over my introvercy.

Hope I've used the proper abbrev. as I'm new to this.

Michele

[PatchyMama]

Oh, and Roman's Mom, it's a certain look that I'm talking about. It's this look that says "I double dog dare you to say something to me about what I'm doing because I'd just *love* to cause a scene." That's what I'm talking about.

Yes cause when we are nursing our babies the #1 thing we think of is how much we want to cause a scene : I don't know of any mom who would want to cause a ruckus while nursing... mostly because baby would have to unlatch, probably be annoyed and cause a scene of his own. Your assumptions that people who don't nurse discreetly are just looking for the attention/to cause a scene is highly offensive.

Its always sad to me that the biggest naysayers against breastfeeding in public are other women.

[Greenie]

Originally Posted by PatchyMama

Its always sad to me that the biggest naysayers against breastfeeding in public are other women.

I NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER NEVER EVER SAID THAT I THINK WOMEN SHOULD NOT NURSE IN PUBLIC! I think that they should. Frequently.

Excuse me for not wanting to see a stranger's breast.

All I'm saying is that having the "all or nothing" attitude does NOTHING for the BFing movement. I have a dream that one day all nursing moms can feed their children without covers, and instead of dirty looks and criticism they get support and help. I just don't think that this will change overnight.

The city that I live in isn't quite so open, and for cultural and socioeconomic reasons, many women FF. I'm in the minority here. It's not really feasable for some women not to cover...

It's stupid. I'm not going to argue anymore. Good luck!

[JeDeeLenae]

Originally Posted by Greenie
All I'm saying is that in public, a person should show consideration for those around them.

ITA.... so when I'm nursing with half my boob out, I dont' think anyone should give me dirty looks as it is very incosiderate to do so.

I actually bought one of those for myself when my DS was born. I used it once... never again. Then I tried blankets... didn't work. Then I tried just lift and latch and it was so easy, discreet, etc. and I've been doing it ever since. I think if it makes someone more comfortable to use one and NIP, go fo it, but if it ever becomes law, I'll be really upset by it.

For the record, I've gotten just as many looks from nursing under a blanket, half boob out, or just holding him in that position. In general, the need to be "discreet" comes from people thinking we're doing something dirty. And since BFing isn't dirty, I say do what you're comfortable with, regardless of whether there's a hooter hider available.

[OneHappyMama69]

Isn't the idea of being an activist for breastfeeding at it's very core, that every woman, from any walk of life should be breastfeeding, no matter who they are, where they are, or how they do it? Does one HAVE to do so in an openly, defiant manner to be an activist? Not all of us are completely comfortable sharing what is under our clothes with the whole world. So if there is a product that helps anyone start to or continue to breastfeed, should we not applaud its very existence (even if the name sucks!)? Why should anyone care if I choose to show or not show my breasts while feeding my child - isn't that MY choice and isn't MY comfort zone what should be taken into account, not what an b/f activist or anti-NIP person thinks I should do?

Breast is best, no matter how you look at it or not look at it! RIGHT?!?!!?

[sharon71]

Originally Posted by Greenie

I NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER NEVER EVER SAID THAT I THINK WOMEN SHOULD NOT NURSE IN PUBLIC! I think that they should. Frequently.

Excuse me for not wanting to see a stranger's breast.

It's a breast for crying out loud.Everybody has them.
large,small,droopy,perky.
It's the double standard that hurts BFing moms you know the " I don't care if you NIP but cover it up because I don't want to see it". Guess what apparently you do care because if you didn't it wouldn't matter if you saw a little or alot of a BFing mommy's breast.
As it's been pointed out many times if you don't want to see it move away.
***** you general*****

[JeDeeLenae]

Originally Posted by OneHappyMama69

Isn't the idea of being an activist for breastfeeding at it's very core, that every woman, from any walk of life should be breastfeeding, no matter who they are, where they are, or how they do it? Does one HAVE to do so in an openly, defiant manner to be an activist? Not all of us are completely comfortable sharing what is under our clothes with the whole world. So if there is a product that helps anyone start to or continue to breastfeed, should we not applaud its very existence (even if the name sucks!)? Why should anyone care if I choose to show or not show my breasts while feeding my child - isn't that MY choice and isn't MY comfort zone what should be taken into account, not what an b/f activist or anti-NIP person thinks I should do?

Breast is best, no matter how you look at it or not look at it! RIGHT?!?!!?

I don't think anyone was saying to be a lactivist you had to nurse and bare all when in public. It was really in response to a post about being "discreet" so you were "considerate" to those around you. I think it's kind of scary that this product can also be seen as a bad thing, with people saying/thinking, "why don't you just use a hooter hider" when you NIP.

**Edited because I lost my train of thought.

[RubyV]

Originally Posted by OneHappyMama69

Isn't the idea of being an activist for breastfeeding at it's very core, that every woman, from any walk of life should be breastfeeding, no matter who they are, where they are, or how they do it? Does one HAVE to do so in an openly, defiant manner to be an activist? Not all of us are completely comfortable sharing what is under our clothes with the whole world. So if there is a product that helps anyone start to or continue to breastfeed, should we not applaud its very existence (even if the name sucks!)? Why should anyone care if I choose to show or not show my breasts while feeding my child - isn't that MY choice and isn't MY comfort zone what should be taken into account, not what an b/f activist or anti-NIP person thinks I should do?

Breast is best, no matter how you look at it or not look at it! RIGHT?!?!!?

the issue isn't whether you personally want to cover it, rather it is the idea that ALL women HAVE to cover up.

[hawkfeather]

if a mom will be more willing to nurse because she can cover up due to her own feeligns than i think they are great!.

If society uses the actions of a mother who seeks discretion to judge other breastfeeders, that is not the fault of the woman. We can not expect women to be made to feel uncomfortable!

My kids would never have been covered..no way.. plus with larger breasts I have to hold my breast and she easily un-latches if i am not holding it right..so i have to be able to see what iam doing..plus when i first nursed i tried a blanket and i was HOTTTTT!!! i always had this poor sweaty baby drinking body temp liquid.. i had to stop because in the summer heat it was dangerous.

[PatchyMama]

All I'm saying is that having the "all or nothing" attitude does NOTHING for the BFing movement.

Actually it's the attitude that you have to be discreet to breastfeed that does nothing for the BFing movement. It is attitudes like the one you are putting into your posts(the negative comments about large breasts and how you dont want to see breast, etc... all negative) that hurt the movement.

Discretion is subjective... some would say being discreet would be nursing in the restroom, others with a blanket, etc.... Saying discretion is necessary for NIP makes breastfeeding in public conditional and hurts the movement. It leaves the range for what is acceptable up to the individual person and that is dangerous for nursing mothers everywhere. What if someone walked up to you and asked you to leave a public place even tho you were breastfeeding under a cover? After all in their opinion the mere act of breastfeeding in public was offensive.... ??? see the road this leads to?

You can absolutely be discreet if that is what works for you, there is nothing wrong with it. But judging other moms for not being what you personally consider discreet is the problem. We should accept everyone whether they are under a cover or have their "zz cup" hanging out.

[hapi2help]

I just saw a mom with a brand new babe using one at a cafe near-by. I was proud of her for bfing, she looked like she was struggling a bit, but I know think the struggle was to hide herself.

It makes me a little sad, ok, a lot sad.......

[townmouse]

Originally Posted by PatchyMama

Actually it's the attitude that you have to be discreet to breastfeed that does nothing for the BFing movement. It is attitudes like the one you are putting into your posts(the negative comments about large breasts and how you dont want to see breast, etc... all negative) that hurt the movement.


You can absolutely be discreet if that is what works for you, there is nothing wrong with it. But judging other moms for not being what you personally consider discreet is the problem. We should accept everyone whether they are under a cover or have their "zz cup" hanging out.

:

[mom2sunshine]

I haven't had time to read even most of the posts beyond page one, but had to respond.
Throughout the many countless of times I have been in the company of nursing mothers (which I have been one of for sometime now), I have seen many different nipples, white skin around the breast, chocolate skin around the breast, tummy fat rolls, skinny ribs, lumpectomy scars, etc. See my point here? I have seen "more" than those wanting us to cover up want people to see.

And each and every time I have seen these mothers nursing, I see love and I see a feeding time for baby (or toddler, etc!), a special time for mom and child. I have seen women that weren't the least bit shy about what may get seen, and others that were, but kept at it anyway, regardless.

I have yet to witness a woman deliberately unrobe, yank both breast out, squirt passerbyers with milk, or any other such things

It is such a simple act, and I will never understand all the hoopla around it. If those that are so troubled by it could see it "in real life", would their minds be changed?

[alegna]

Originally Posted by elanorh

The bottom line is - is mom comfortable? Is baby comfortable? Does this work for them? What other people think doesn't matter. There are lots of people who think that we should CIO our children, but it doesn't mean we do. There are lots of people who think eating organically or trying to live sustainably is Kooky. But we still do it. Why should it matter to me/my child(ren) that there are people out there who persist on seeing bf as sexual, and ff as the ideal? That's certainly not the sort of logic/rationality which I can bow towards. Especially since, IME, it's always been far more "discreet" for me to lift and latch, or NIP in a nursing top, than to use a blanket or etc.

My goal isn't to horrify the people around me with a "how nude will she go?" show. But if I have a child who nurses "indiscriminately" I'm not hiding at home to appease people who think that's beyond the pale for NIP.