You know you're anxiously 9+ months pregnant when...

[magpiedee]

* The front desk folks at your health care provider know your appointments by heart and can predict in which bathroom you'll be leaving your sample.

* Your partner automatically brings you dinner every night and doesn't steal a single french fry.

* Your first thought in the bathroom is, "Yay, discharge!"

* The first thing you say to your boss in the morning is, "Yes, i'm still here!" :

* People stop you in Target and ask you where to find the car window shades and Boppy covers.

* Your best dreams are about sleeping on your stomach or back.

Any more?

[radiogirlgr]

Hmm, let's see...

You wake up with a backache and get frustrated when it goes away

You look at your watch with every Braxton Hicks contraction, and growl when you realize the last one was an hour and a half ago

You are starting to outgrow some of your maternity clothes and have stained the rest of them

You lay on the couch in your underwear, not caring that you look like a beached whale, because it is so hot and there's nothing you can do about it.

Random people call and leave 'Just checking in' messages on the answering machine.

I'm sure there are lots more!!!!

[ColoradoMama]

Everytime you talk to someone about an appointment - you preface it with - unless I'm giving birth, I'll be there.

[BirthFree]

You get depressed when you read other people's birth announcements (even though you're happy that at least SOMEONE is having a baby).

You've given up predicting a good day/time for baby to be born and are just happy with *sometime soon*.

Your family makes comments like "Are you ready to have this baby yet?" and all you can say is, "Hehh" in an unamused voice.

You don't remember how it feels to walk without balancing such weight out front.

You're still hungry, but the thought of taking the effort to make food is too much.

Your other kids are acting especially naughty... just to make the end more enjoyable for you.

You really wonder what the HECK they are finishing in there these last few weeks/days in there and hope to heck it's worth waiting for.

You start stalking your partner for sex, sure it will start (or help along) something.

You check yourself for dilation in the shower and then curse yourself for doing it, when you find nothing much has changed.

While you hate the thought of adding yet ANOTHER child to change diapers for constantly, the idea of staying pg much longer is worse.

I'm in a good mood today, can you tell?

[SummerTwilight]

Every single person who walks past you looks twice and way too many say, you look like you should have had that baby yesterday!
You are afraid to leave the house for fear your water WILL actually break in the grocery store.
Everyone you talk to wants to hurry up and end the conversation for fear they will be delivering your child where you stand if you hang around long enough.
hahaha, definately agree on the people calling to check in every day and prefacing all plans with, unless I am in labor.

[magpiedee]

* You can be heard cheering 3 counties over after a successful BM.

* You'll eat almost anything, provided you don't have to move very far to get it.

* You spend more time convincing baby to come on out and/or meditating on the flower-like properties of your cervix than you do having normal human interactions.

* Everyone expects you to be irritable and miserable and is very surprised when you're pleasant.

* You know exactly where every AC vent in your home and office most effectively pumps the cool air and spend most of your time standing in this space with a look of bliss on your face.

And AMEN to the one about being angry when a backache goes away. Nothing feels as good as uterine cramps right now. NOTHING!!

[Ary99]

when you have to ask your 4 year old to answer the phone because you got stuck in a yoga pose that is supposed to bring forth "pelvic energy"

when strangers in the grocery store see you coming, they part, not unlike Moses parting the Red Sea

when you ask people to talk to your belly and try to *reason* with the baby

when you are passing due date predictions from friends and family every second that ticks by

when you find yourself contemplating small acts of vandalism to the car that blocked the shopping cart return corral.

[BirthFree]

Originally Posted by Ary99

when you find yourself contemplating small acts of vandalism to the car that blocked the shopping cart return corral.

[selena_ski]

when you actually care when the full moon is

when you have the TV schedule memorized

When the only person you want to see is your MW, but not for a scheduled appt

[JenMidwife]

laughup OMG this thread is fantastic!!!! The only thing I can think of to add at the moment...

Everytime your call your DP or others close to you, you start the conversation w/ "I'm not in labor..."

[coop_mom]

Originally Posted by radiogirlgr

You lay on the couch in your underwear, not caring that you look like a beached whale, because it is so hot and there's nothing you can do about it.

have you been spying on me??


...when your ankles have pretty much disappeared
...when getting a good night's sleep is more appealing than winning the lottery
...when you start getting free stuff in the mail extolling the joys of formula
...when things start piling up on the floor and you can justify walking over them instead of making the extreme effort to figure out how to get them off the floor (since clearly bending over to pick them up is not an option...)

[mrs rockstar]

Thank you guys, I needed this laugh today.

[Ary99]

Originally Posted by JenMidwife

Everytime your call your DP or others close to you, you start the conversation w/ "I'm not in labor..."

:

[AmieV]

I'm still 3 weeks out, and if one more person says "Any day now, huh?" I swear I'm going to become homicidal.

[Bay Area Babe]

* the automatic email your hospital sends you changes from 40 weeks to 1st week home with a newborn...

* you check each the bowl and toilet paper after each and every trip to pee for your mucous plug

* you really start believing that oral sex is 10x more effective than vaginal sex

* you change your underwear and/or your pantyliners at least 3 times a day

* you've lost count of how many farts per hour/day you've expelled

* when your nesting is done and the only thing you have left to do 'for the baby' is wait

[art4heart]

... you are laughing and snorting and crying from reading the freakin' hilarious, and oh so true comments on this posts, and think, "Hmmmmm... if I laugh hard enough DC will shoot out and land on my keyboard any minute now......"

[SlingWearin'Mama]

When you are no longer phased when walker-bys drop their jaw in amazment as you waddle by and say," I hope there is more than one in there?!?!"

coop mom: Ankles? are we supposed to have ankles?

[crazyeight]

Originally Posted by AmieV

I'm still 3 weeks out, and if one more person says "Any day now, huh?" I swear I'm going to become homicidal.

why is EVERYONE has to be an 'expert' on the fact that you MUST be either a.) overdue/due any day or b.) are carrying twins. :

i am 3.5 weeks from EDD.......yes i am ready to go (and hoping for) this babe in about 2 weeks but i ain't stupid....i could go another 5 weeks!! i don't need you to remind me that i am huge thank you very much!!!

[coop_mom]

Originally Posted by SlingWearin'Mama

coop mom: Ankles? are we supposed to have ankles?

I'm pretty sure I used to have something that connected my feet to my legs...

oh, and I'm not sure when I decided my pelvis was a good place to store my bowling ball...

[amybw]

Originally Posted by art4heart

... you are laughing and snorting and crying from reading the freakin' hilarious, and oh so true comments on this posts, and think, "Hmmmmm... if I laugh hard enough DC will shoot out and land on my keyboard any minute now......"

:

This thread is just what i needed right now!
I was so grumpy before!