Help me suck it up and feel comfortable NIP

[Mama Poot]

I'm mad at myself : I want to enjoy NIP and not have my stomach do flip flops every time my baby needs to eat. I swore I would stop feeling anxious about this, but I'm not making any progress. We had a family reunion on Sunday, and I spent a lot of it sitting in my uncle's library Henri isn't even two weeks old yet, and while he's a good nurser it takes him a few tries to get latched on, and then he pops on and off and you know how that goes... I don't even feel comfortable sitting in my own backyard!! This is all just plain silly. You know no one has EVER said anything negative to me. The worst that's happened was my mom throwing a blanket at me when I was nursing Paddy last year at Thanksgiving. Please help me overcome my NIP phobia!!!

[MidwifeErika]

What about nursing in a sling to start with? You get better visability yourself (compared with a blanket) while also feeling like you have privacy from others? My baby is a month old, but we still have to make a few tries at getting latched and sometimes I can feel like I am on display while trying to get this done. I am pretty comfortable overall with NIP, but sometimes and in some locations using the sling just tops off my confidence and makes me feel very at ease with it. Also, just keep telling yourself and enforcing the fact that you are doing NOTHING wrong by NIP, no matter how much skin shows or doesn't show, no matter if it takes Henri a few tries to get latched, no matter if you are surounded by tons of strangers or are all alone.... NOTHING wrong.

[Clarinet]

I used to be uncomfortable because I was the only person I had ever known to nurse a baby, much less nurse where people could see me. Start slowly. The first time I nursed my oldest in public, we were at a restaurant, in a booth. She fit under the table and I covered with a small blanket. I graduated to sitting in the open with a cover and when she started tossing off the cover, there we were. You can do it!

[KnitLady]

I think it is totally normal to be nervous at first! Everything is new, even breastfeeding! I was nervous in the beginning too, eventually I just did it and found that very few people paid much attention.

If there is a LLL meeting around you, I would recommend going! It was helpful for me to be around a bunch of other women who were nursing and doing it so casually in public.

Also, practice nursing in front of a mirror. I also find that if you lift your shirt to nurse instead of lowering a low-cut shirt you show less skin. Most people don't know what I'm doing, and those who notice it's more of a quick double-take and that's it.

You'll get there Mama!

[RubyV]

I second the sling idea. Nursing in a sling/pouch/wrap makes NIP easy, and not so intimidating. Practice with friends who are cool, and use a mirror. YOu'll be surprised at how easy it is.

[ani'smommy]

I just wanted to say that it definately gets easier. I NIP all the time, but at first we had so many bf issues, that I could just not do it. We had thrush so bad that I was practically in tears every time I nursed her anyways. DD was also teeny tiny, so she covered about none of my body when she nursed, also.

Anyway, it is hard right now but it will soon be so much easier that you won't even give it a second thought.

For now, it sounds like you have some good suggestions. Hang in there!

[Momtwice]

I agree about LLL, that's where I saw moms modeling confident, happy nursing.

It's only a couple weeks into it. It WILL get better!

For me wearing a knit top that I lifted from the bottom without a bra,
or a nursing top, helped. For me fumbling with a bra was too hard, for someone else a bra might be necessary.

[Carma]

It will get much easier with time!! You will get handier and more confident NIPing by doing it. At 3 weeks I also still had problems NIPing in the backyard, I was using a blanket then. Now I can't understand anymore why I felt like that. Think a lot of us start out feeling weird about opening up your shirt and taking out a boob in public. Also try it before a mirror and you will see that there is very little to see.
Our DD is 11 mo now and I never had any bad comments, only approving smiles from passing people.

Carma

[Mama Poot]

Originally Posted by hotwings640

What about nursing in a sling to start with?

I have a sling, but its not easy to nurse in..I just can't seem to get the hang of it and feel like I would draw more attention to myself fiddling around with it. What is a good sling to nurse in??

I went to LLL during my first pregnancy and afterwards for a few months until we relocated temporarily. When we moved back home I contacted my old leader but she deleted my emails. Not sure what that was about... but another leader gave me grief for not paying membership dues even though she knew I couldn't afford them. The other LLL group is too far away and they meet in the mornings, and I have no car until DH gets home around 4pm. So I guess I'm SOL with that

[alexsam]

Wow. That really stinks about LLL... Hmmm.

First, I want to say that it gets easier. After your milk supply regulates (so your not squirting everywhere ) and baby gets the hang of it, it can be really quick and easy, with minimal fuss and muss! You develop the quick flip and tuck in the bra, you stop leaking, etc. But at first, it is hard and I think even the most ardent NIP'ers appreciated a little privacy while they got the hang of it. Also, there are many proud breastfeeders with varying levels of comfort in public. That is OK! As long as you are happy and baby is happy, that's what counts. No everyone is happy being a NIP lightening rod or wants to make a statement everytime they go out, so don't feel like that to be "true to the cause" you have to bare breasts in every situation and shout at all passers by "Breast is Best, fella!" . Again, what works for you is what is important.

But lets, just for a moment, discuss reasons why NIP is cool. Of course, these are arguments of the mind, so as rational as they can be, they just might not work. But sometimes if we make a logical decision and then do it, it can work itself right with the heart. So here goes...

1.) Who has not seen a breast? I'd venture to say that all adult men have seen breasts, know what they are for, and that most, if not virtually all, are mature enough not to care about it. Pre-teen and teenage boys may not have all that much experience with breasts, but hey- they more than anyone could use a good dose of "this is what they're for, guys!".

2.) A breast is a breast. Seen one, seen 'em all (pretty much). And nursing, you don't get such a good look at them anyway. So, barring major abnormalities, your breasts look like everyone elses. Nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing to see here!

3.) Who cares. The vast majority of the people you see when you NIP (people in stores, in parks, etc.) you will never see again. If they get an eyeful, smile and know that they will fade into the sea of life.

4.) If you don't make a big deal, they won't. By and large, people will follow instead of lead. If you are chill with it, people won't even notice. You can "fake it 'till you make it"- pretend to be chill and soon you really will be. People won't give you a passing glance if you look comfortable. Ironically, they will if you tuck yourself in a strange corner or act all flustered (People are weird). Basically, everyone will take your lead. If you are cool with it, they will be. You set the tone, and that's what it will be.

5.) A short reply is better than a long one. The most frequent comment/question I get while NIP is "Would you be more comfortable in my office/another room/elsewhere?" I always give the benefit of the doubt and take the question at face value and reply with a smile and a "No, thanks. We're fine here." People then smile and leave .

6.) Lastly, as a general rule of human nature, people are more concerned with themselves than with others. Whenever I suffer from a mortifying, profoundly embarassing or uncomfortable situation, I remember that to everyone else, it is merely a mildly amusing situation they will forget shortly. I mean, how many really terribly akward moments of OTHER people's lives do you remember? And how many of a STRANGER'S? So, when you think all eyes are on you, most likely, they're not- they are thinking of themselves or are absorbed in their own worlds. And if they are a participant in a situation that is akward for you, most likely it won't register very high on their personal priority register and will be forgotten quickly. And even if they do remember, see #3.

So, these were things I told myself to "get over the hump" of NIP. Hope you find a situation that works for you!

[jessjgh1]

Just DO it!

Ok, still need more convincing. Sit in front of a mirror and nurse your baby the next time. Maybe if you SEE that you really look just fine and dandy, you will get over your feelings. You might be surprised at how much your baby covers you up!!!

Or, try distraction: you could just get a really funny crazy hat or shoes. Everyone will be staring at that at not even notice that you are nursing(-;

Need someone to tell you what to do. Okay, I'll say it-- "Come back and post how you did on Monday-- you've got a weekend to figure it out- GO!"

Need incentive.... if you post on your success I can bet that 10 people, at least, will come here and clap for you... and

HTH,

Jessica

[sapphire_chan]

It's only been two weeks. Give yourself a bit of a break mama! Sooo many new things happening for both you and your little one. Follow the excellent suggestions above and by 2 months you'll be a NIP pro!

[Mama Poot]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

It's only been two weeks. Give yourself a bit of a break mama! Sooo many new things happening for both you and your little one. Follow the excellent suggestions above and by 2 months you'll be a NIP pro!

Only it HASN'T only been two weeks!! Maybe there was some confusion, but I have an older son who turns 1 tommorrow I've been through this before!! And I thought I would be over it by now but I'm not But on a positive note, I kept all you ladies in mind when we went out to dinner this evening. The only person who might have noticed was our waitress. I DID feel a little better this time.

[velcromom]

Originally Posted by Mama Poot

The only person who might have noticed was our waitress. I DID feel a little better this time.

That's great! Most people don't notice, that's a fact. I've nursed ds in a restaurant so crowded people were nearly shoulder to shoulder, the burly guy next to me was in my space and he STILL didn't notice.

When your little is in a distractible phase of latch/unlatch, hats with a full brim on your ds can make you feel more covered.

[hawkfeather]

your baby is only two weeks!! give yoruself some time. I found once baby's latch was more established i could really nurse a lot more easily. It wasn't my boobie i had issues with but rather chasing baby with my nipple and such!

Congrats on your little baby!!!!!!!

[jessjgh1]

up !!!

I think it is great you nursed at the restaurant!!
Seriously, I was trying to be funny in my post and I was worried I was a little too cheeky.

I really would try the mirror test. It really helped me out when I was having latch issues-- both seeing that I was pretty much covered up and also helping me check the position.

Then I'd come online and scour the web for nursing photos to compare how I was doing it to how the 'pro's' were doing it. (-:

I think it is great that you are tackling this! Good luck!

Jessica

[lalaland42]

I had the whole ripping off a bandaid idea when I did this:

The first time I NIP, I went to the rich mall in the middle of the rich suburb, sat down in the middle of the mall and proceeded to nurse. It was strangely liberating and now when I feel uncomfortable I just think back to all those looks I got and laugh.

[emcare]

I know a lot of folks around here don't like them, but I used a hooter hider until I felt comfortable enough to nip without one. It's way easier to use than a blanket 'cause it can't be pulled off and you can see what your doing because of the rigid edge.

Good luck, mama.

[Momtwice]

the LLL website has a forum about Breastfeeding in Public with discussions and advice

http://www.lalecheleague.org

See also:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/bfip.html

[Sustainer]

Originally Posted by Mama Poot

I DID feel a little better this time.

Yay!

Take it easy on yourself. You're breastfeeding! You're doing what's right for your child! It's beautiful! It's wonderful! You ROCK!!