New to the idea . . .

[crb]

I was so glad to find this forum! I am starting to panic a little about dd and school - I have toyed w/the idea of homeschooling, but she is in a preschool now . . .mostly for socialization.
I knew she was bright, but now the ped. did just a little test in her office and finds that dd reads at about a 4-5th grade level. I know she doesn't quite comprehend at that level - but I am suddenly worrying about what kind of "fit" she will have in a kindergarten class. Socially, she loves adults and me, but seems to be a typical 4 year old, or maybe even a bit immature: she has trouble relating to peers and doesn't seem to "get it" when they try to play w/her. She is very emotionally sensitive, but can't seem to figure out how to play directly w/someone else (who won't follow her every edict like me, lol)
I am looking for other online resources, etc. and trying to figure out how to address the emotional/social needs of an intellectually bright but socially struggling preschooler. Thanks, I really look forward to learning more.

[witt]

she sounds exactly like my oldest. the other kids just don't get him and at four he was the same as your daughter. I knew he was different from the other kids. his preschool found him very difficult to manage and we had countless meetings. they thought he had aspergers so we got him tested and turned out he was gifted.

he still struggles at school now but we have a label which is useful because we can argue for his needs at school.

he will give me gray hairs this child!

from what i have read the social stuff will always be difficult because they are out of sync

good luck, i'd recommend getting a formal report and doing a heap of web searching and reading then staying really proactive in what your daughter needs

[crb]

It is interesting that you mention asperger's - although I haven't really researched it in terms of dd, I have noticed similarities just in terms of her deep preference to not play w/other peers. I used to do a lot of social playgroups, etc., but they are just so draining for both of us!

Do schools have much in the way of "enrichment" at the earliest elementary grades (K-3)? I had never really thought about testing - where/how do you go about getting that done? I am thinking about calling the local school principal to talk about school policy, but am a little worried about sounding like a crazy parent.

[wonderactivist]

Hello,

While I still prefer the term, 'intellectual,' the fact is that by any name, these kids have special needs. It is quite normal for them to feel superior and to be quite bossy around other kids - thus posing a social dysfunction.

Here are two really incredible resources that have helped me in working with my son:

: Bright Child/Gifted Learner Comparison
This site also has a lot of integration information

and Hoagie's Gifted site
This is a huge resource

I would recommend stopping letting her boss you around right now - I really drew the line on that early - and also don't be afraid to point out when your child is being too know-it-all-ish - starting in elementary school. Part of parenting these kids is helping them to learn in the real world, where they won't go far without social adeptness. Teach her to share her knowledge in ways that don't overwhelm or annoy the other kids (and adults).

My eldest, now in 6th grade, still prefers the company of older kids and adults for the most part. The VERY best fit for a friend we ever found was another gifted child - a girl - in a town we lived in years ago. They still correspond occasionally.

Edit - Oh, and don't forget such things as chess club, astronomy club, and other places where the child can meet other intellectual kids. Another great recource for older ages is Odyssey of the Mind. It fits the mode of creative problem-solving. We were just starting a chapter in our old town - and just moved - ugh! So I hope to begin one here next year that he can do in 7th-9th grades at least.

Best wishes,

Lucie

[crb]

Thanks for the websites, I'll check them out! I really need to do further study and really figure out what we want to do.

I do allow dd to take the lead during play (not running the household!), but I do see where she could become "bossy" - there are just some hints of it starting now, so this is something to keep an eye on. It is hard- she wants to play, but really only "opens up" w/me or when playing by herself, so I do play w/her more than some other moms I know play w/their kids. At preschool she mostly reads by herself - hard to tell if she just likes to read or if she feels intimidated/confused/above the social interactions taking place around her.