wow, SO's family reeeally uncomfortable with bfing

[mika85]

So I had just started nursing roxie when brian's family stopped by unannounced. Now, I realize they've never been exposed to bfing before (brians mom FFed all three of her kids) but jeez, they wouldn't even come INSIDE the house until I was done!! I told Brian to tell them they were more than welcome to come in, and that I was covered up, but they refused. They were there just to see the baby anyway, but still! They were just standing around in the garage looking stupid when they could've came in and talked to me or something. Okay, so it usually takes me a half hour or more to feed her, and Brian was getting flustered and annoyed with the whole stupid situation cuz he really didn't feel like entertaining the whole family while they waited. So after 15 minutes he comes inside and begs me "if I can be done for a few minutes" and says "she'll be fine, just give her a pacifier if she cries". I argued with him for a minute, but I didn't want seem like a jerk in front of his family. Luckily she was done on one side and seemed satisfied. It was kinda funny tho cuz she had some projectile spit-up while they were all gathered around her and I think some got on his sisters! Haha!! :rofl

It just sux that they are so uncomfortable with it that they won't even step foot inside the house when I was bfing. Sorry but that kinda hurts my feelings. Anyways, they're gonna see it sometime and hafta get used to it cuz I'll plan on bfing for as long as Roxie wants too.

[frontierpsych]

I'm sure they'll get used to it. My uncle's daughters bf their DC and at first my uncle was uncomfortable with it and would leave the room, but now he barely bats an eye. If they don't get used to it, well, won't it be inconvenient for them to have to leave the room every time you feed your child?

[firstkid4me]

I'm sure they'll get over it

[annekevdbroek]

My FIL used to jump up and RUN out of the room as soon as I got ready to nurse my son. It went on for a few months and then he just avoided us in general. I think about 12 months into he adjusted somewhat.

[hellyaellen]

how rude of them to make you feel like you had to hurry. keep at it though. they'll probably get used to it after a while.

[momileigh]

I can't help but think what a great opportunity you have to get some people more comfortable with nursing. As someone else said, it will be awfully inconvenient for them to leave every time you need to nurse! So eventually their comfort level with go up, and you will have changed the world a little bit for the better. Kind of like when a racist family suddenly has a new relative (by birth or marriage) who isn't a color they approve of... hopefully they'll spend enough time with the person that their ideas will change. KWIM?

[sapphire_chan]

I hope your garage isn't air conditioned. If they're lucky they'll get over it by the time winter rolls around, if they're not lucky maybe there'll be a blizzard.

Wait, you mean your dh stayed out there with them and then asked you to "hurry up"? Bad dh, no cookie.

[frontierpsych]

"Bad dh, no cookie."

yup!

[moonfirefaery]

Like you can hurry feeding a baby anyway. They eat at their own pace. You can't make them eat faster. That's ridiculous they wanted you to cut the child's meal short and let hiim go hungry because they were too weirded out by the healthy, natural, beautiful act of nursing a child.

[mika85]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

Wait, you mean your dh stayed out there with them and then asked you to "hurry up"? Bad dh, no cookie.

love it!

[sophmama]

Some of my dh's family jumped up and ran out when I bf'd. I kept up at it and with kiddo #2 I plan on being WAAAY less accommodating. I plan on calling people out infront of others if they start saying stupid things to others within my hearing or if they try to bolt. I think it's rude to treat bfing women that way and I'm going to stop permitting it.

[stockingup99]

So sorry about their bad behavior. Stopping by unannounced, and then making you uncomfortable nursing in your own home. :

Hopefully they'll get a clue. Try, it's just a bottle with skin. : That's what my ten year old step daughter said when I asked what she thought about others being uncomfortable about nursing.

[JeDeeLenae]

Some of my dh's family jumped up and ran out when I bf'd. I kept up at it and with kiddo #2 I plan on being WAAAY less accommodating. I plan on calling people out infront of others if they start saying stupid things to others within my hearing or if they try to bolt. I think it's rude to treat bfing women that way and I'm going to stop permitting it.

That's a good idea. Most of my DHs family just took a smoke break when I'd nurse.

Also, it was very rude for them to not come in. I would have made them wait!!

[mamalisa]

The might get used to it, they might. If not, they will be spending a lot of time in the garage, babies eat a lot!


My dad was freaked out about me nursing my first. He would do this very funny -mustnotlookdirectlyatmydaughter- thing. It was hilarious. Now, 6 years later and nursing my second, he has no trouble kissing dd's head while she nurses. Some people are just terrified of boobies.

[ACsMom]

My in-laws are like this too. The women in dh's family never breastfed their kids (dh never got the boobie ) so I guess that's why. When I go to feed dd they act like I just whipped off my shirt like I'm on Girls Gone Wild or something. They jump up and suddenly have a burning need to see the backyard. Whatever. It kinda sucks for me because I'm effectively removed from the adult conversation and I don't think this is fair. We have friends who used to invite us over for dinner and then ask me to nurse in a back room of the house, even though I tell them I'll be completely covered up by a blanket or sling. They act like it's for my convenience. We've stopped going to their house. You can't exactly stop hanging out with your in-laws, though! Hopefully they'll get over it - I know how you feel.

[elanorh]

You can always pretend that you don't realize they're avoiding you, and if/as you become more able to bf while walking/slinging baby etc., just go *to* them wherever they are, while bfing.

I'm having a vision of a small herd of people worriedly scattering in front of a calmly bfing mother.

If they haven't talked TO you about not liking/wanting nursing, perhaps there's one of them that you can talk to about it, and let them know that you enjoy their company, and adult conversation, and that you're looking forward to the time when they are more comfortable being in a room with you while breastfeeding -- because it's going to be a LONG time before you're done bf. You could pretend that you're assuming that they're afraid they'll make YOU uncomfortable, and reassure that, "Really, it's so natural and comfortable, it just feels right, and I am comfortable breastfeeding around family and friends," so that they have that "invite."

They're probably thinking you'll stop this any day, now -- after all, this baby is SO OLD. And if there hasn't been a lot of communication between you and them (or SO and them) about bf duration/intent, maybe it's time for the conversation to be had.

Also - your SO needs to be going to bat for you. It's hard to stand up to family sometimes, but really, my dh would have told his family that they could stay out in the garage if they wanted to, but he was going back in the house. Even when you don't always agree on issues between the two of you, it's important to have a united front with *both* families about what's going on, IMO. Which means that he needs to explain that bf is what you're BOTH committed to with this child, and that he expects them to respect and support that for both of you and your child as well. JMHO anyway.

[Pandora114]

Originally Posted by elanorh

I'm having a vision of a small herd of people worriedly scattering in front of a calmly bfing mother.

Sorta like Vogons scattering before a towel

"OH MY GOD SHE HAS BREASTMILK! RUN AWAY RUN AWAY! AAAAHH!!"

[skybluepink02]

I just got the visual of the nursing mama like a tigress stalking the scared inlaws. I think you should do it!

[skybluepink02]

hehe, beat me to it Pandora

[momto l&a]

Theyll get over it I imagine.

My inlaws use to not like it but now days theyll actually look at me while talking when I am bfing.

Should be interesing, we will be seeing them in a 2 weeks and my youngest is 21 months old and loves to nurse. We will see what they think about an 'older' child nursing.

They actually quite bothering me a long time ago when they learned I actually knew what I was talking about and they didnt.