Preschool decision. How many days a week?

[Hazelnut]

Okay, my 3yo will be starting Pre-K in September. The issue is: two days at a suburban school I like and have to pay for, or five days at a local, free integrated special ed school with a really good teacher/kid ratio and great reputation, but that I don't know a lot about.

After some research we got him enrolled in the neighboring suburb's park district preschool. I've observed there, met the teachers, and I'm impressed so far. It's also where we've done a ton of tot/parent classes over the last year, so I'm very familiar with it. I really liked too how they said that they don't want you to leave a crying child in the room in hopes that they adjust once you're gone, and that moms or dads can stay as long as they want. That really spoke volumes to me. I was going to sign up for three days a week, but it filled up so we opted for two.

Then I found out that we actually got a spot in the local city public school pre-K. It's supposed to be one of the best in the city (though city ones in general, uh, suck I think)
good things about it:
1.They have a huge special ed program, and they integrate the special needs kids with all the other kids. The student teacher ratio is really good, I'd be really psyched that he would have the help there should he need it for anything. I've heard kids in schools like this really learn a lot of compassion for others who are different from them.
2. Some of the teachers know him, because we play in the playground there a lot. Some of the teachers I've seen out don't impress me, but many do.
3.It's two blocks away and we could walk! Not a reason to go, but hey.
4. It's free! tra la la!

BUT of course- the BAD:
1. it's five days a week. I think this is too much for him, b/c he can be very social but at the same time often doesnt' want to leave the house and doesn't separate from me so easily.
2. I've never observed, or really talked about how they do anything, b/c I didn't think we'd get a slot.
3. and it's in the afternoon. he doesn't nap anymore, but he can get cranky. I don't even know if the structure would be good for the cranky period, or baaad.

I don't know what to do.
My gut is saying that 5 days is too much, but then it's just two hours a day, and I wish we could try that one. But will two days a week be even harder to adjust to? Will he get confused wondering why sometimes he goes, and sometimes he doesn't? I realize some people here are not in favor of pre-K, period. I'm not interested in homeschooling, but I'd certainly be interested in hearing why people opt out of it. I do agree that most people push young kids into long school hours too soon- which is why I'm really hesitating over the 5 days.

[phathui5]

If your gut is saying that five days is too much, then go with the two days a week. You're his mama and you know how he will adjust.

[maizy]

we are going through he same thing and I decided 2 days b/c really a 3 yo is so little still. Two days is enough to get the social interaction and learning and the other days he need to relax and be 3 at home. We can always up it to five days next year if he loves it. But thats just us every family and kid is different

[DQMama]

I think your are right that five days is too much. My ds starts 2 days in the fall and I am heartbroken over it (that's why this thread caught my eye). I don't want him to go but dh won't even discuss it. We agreed that he would go but as the time gets closer I am having my doubts. I think five days would be okay if he was used to, say, 3 days. But to go straight from 0 to 5 would be tough (unless your ds has been in school before?). To me it would be worth it to pay the extra $$$ even though we're not exactly rolling in it, LOL.

[Terabith]

My 2.5 yr old actually goes five days a week, for 2.5 hrs a day. I looked at a bunch of different schools, and this one was far and away my favorite one, but they only take kids five days a week bc they say that they adjust better if they aren't always guessing if it's a school day/ get into a routine/ etc. I felt like it was too many days, actually (and the only reason I signed her up at 2 was bc she was soooooo social and every time we drove by a school or day care, she would literally beg, "School? My school? Pleeeeeeeze? I want to go to school! Play with kids! Please?"), but it turned out really well. I'm glad I went with my favorite school even tho it was more intensive than my next favorite school, which was less intensive but didn't have quite the quality of the first one. I think the every day thing actually has been a good thing for her. Not sure it would be for all kids though. And I do keep her home about once every other week and we go to the zoo or something. Just to throw out an alternative. For me, the kicker would be the school. It sounds like you love this school. If you love it, I'd go with it. Alternatively, could you enroll him in both (since they are morning and afternoon), and if you love the five day one, withdraw from the morning one or if you don't like the five day, withdraw from it? Tho I don't think you'd want to keep that schedule up very long, unless your kid is very energetic and social.

[mamaduck]

Is he special needs? Is that why you are interested in the special ed. componant? That could be an important peice to consider - if you think he could benefit from early intervention at school.

That aside though, I didn't want to be parted with my kids 5 days a week when they were that young. Heck, I don't want to be parted with my kids 5 days a week now! But would you loose your spot in the free program if you just planned not to take him every day?

[hapi2help]

I love the idea of the integrated school........my big bro has special needs and when he was little(he is 38 now) the schools were not ever mixed, then they sent him to *regular* high school, and both my bro and the other students did not know how to deal.

Really, few people do now how to deal with spec-ed; I think you child would learn valuable life lessons.

With that said, 5 days is too much. So I am no help!

[OakBerry]

I chose 2 days a week when ds was 3. I thought any more than that was too much for us to be apart. He did fine, and he quickly learned which days were tuesday and thursday, we'd count the days until he would go back again.
This year he'll be going 3 days a week. I had an option for 5 days but I figure once he hits kindy next year he'll be going 5 days for the rest of his school career, so I chose 3.

You need to go with your gut though, and Mamaduck has a good point that if your ds is special needs the 5 day may be a better fit for you and your son.

[Delacroix]

Every child is different, and only you know your child. But generally speaking, I don't know that five days is too much, because it's only 2 hours. If it were me, considering placement for one of my children, I don't think I'd view 10 hours per week as being excessive.

BUT...as I said, YOU know your child, I don't.

[Hazelnut]

I feel like I don't know my child sometimes, like I don't know anything and have no gut instinct anymore. I don't even know if my fear of 5 days is instinct-based or just intellectual that 5 days a week is a lot all of a sudden.

The truth is transitions are tough for him, but I can imagine him almost settling in better to a completely new place than to the place he's been going with mom (and wouldn't let me leave when it was an option, so why would he now in the same rooms?) I don't know. And no, he's not special needs, but he can be a very difficult kid- defiant, strong-willed. I think he'd benefit from teachers used to challenges. I also wonder if I'd just be a better parent if I got a break from him every day. So I'm obviously leaning toward the 5 day a week, and yet I don't think I'm going to do it, : for the reasons Oakberry said. Kindergarten will be around the corner soon enough. I suppose I could always try and do it the next year, and just change schools. I think I"m also nervous that either way, if it's not working out well and effecting him, that I won't even be there to see and will just be left guessing by his behavior at home.

[OakBerry]

Hazelnut,
When ds was 3 I had him in the two day a week morning session. I had to get him out of bed at 8am and in the car by 8:15. Ds is difficult with transitions too. It was hard getting him going sometimes, he would say he didn't want to go. But once he got to school he loved it. I remember saying to myself "Thank goodness I don't have to do this every single morning!"
This year we are in the afternoon session.
Just something else for you to keep in mind.

[royaloakmi]

I think you're gut instinct sounds right on - 5 afternoons a week is too much for most 3 year olds - especially when many of them still need serious nap/quiet time in the afternoon.

Plus, no decision is permanent. There are often openings in mid-year (people move, kids drop out, etc.), so if part-time doesn't meet his needs or you find you need more of a break, there may be an oppotunity to change things in January.