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for mom's not having an u/s do people think your nuts?

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 
I am starting to get annoyed!

People have started asking if we know the sex of the baby. I say "no, we don't" and they get this funny look on their faces and then ask "Why not? Couldn't they see it on the u/s?"

me: "we haven't had an u/s"

them: "you haven't? when does your dr do them?"

You get the idea? It just goes on and on no matter what I say- they refuse to let alone!

When I finally tell them that we don't plan to have one you'd think I just smacked them in the face!

It's just getting old and I have until the beginning of July to cope with it. arg! I just had to do a little venting!
post #2 of 28
I know what you mean. Usually I just say "Well, my mom didn't have any USs and we turned out just fine".

post #3 of 28
People might think I'm crazy but none of them have actually said so...it's so common for people to assume you'll have an ultrasound sometimes it just doesn't occur to them that you don't have to have one at all.
post #4 of 28
I caved and got one ultrasound b/c I needed to watch for ovarian cysts, but it was not my plan to get one at all and everyone looked at me like I'd grown a 3rd eye.

I think a lot of people don't realize that you don't have to get one, like someone else said. I think a lot of people don't realize that you don't HAVE to do anything.

They all say to me, "why on EARTH wouldnt' you want an ultrasound?!?!"
post #5 of 28
YES! I never knew it was SOOOOO common to have one done these days. I knew it was becoming more and more common, but I guess I just assumed they were still done mostly if there was a medical reason. I've had some interesting conversations with people about this decision. It can be a bit frustrating, I agree. I just don't understand why everyone thinks it HAS to be part of your pregnancy. Oh well.... if this is the biggest conflict I have with the general public, I can deal with it!
post #6 of 28
Ultrasound? Unsound
A midwife recommended that book to me when we were thinking about getting pregnant. I have to admit I had never even questioned the necessity of ultrasound, just seemed like the normal thing to do. For me, I figured that I knew the date of conception, am healthy and am not expecting twins (at least nobody thinks so ) so an ultrasound seemed totally unnecessary. That book is from the UK and might seem a bit radical but the author points out that we really have no idea about the long term consequences of doing US, just like X-rays 20-30 years ago.
Just something to think about....
post #7 of 28
Oh, yeah! My mom thinks I'm nuts because twins run in our family and she didn't find out my sisters were twins until 3 days before they were born. I told her that I'll have an U/S if HCg levels are high and uterus size is large for my stage of pg at my first visit. Otherwise, forget it.

I have one crunchy friend who doesn't think I'm nuts, the rest do, including DP. He wants to know the sex. Everyone thinks it's this great inconvenience not to know. I think it would be far more inconvenient if they got it wrong (as they often do), and I hate sex-oriented baby gifts. A baby is a baby.
post #8 of 28
There have also been studies in which there was a relationship between ultrasound and impaired auditory development. The U/S was effecting the inner ear development or the auditory nerve. (I need to look at that study again...)

Anyway, they are NOT completely safe like most people think. I know that in some cases they are necessary and very helpful but performing U/S should be the exception not the rule.

You ladies are just trying to protect your children and their inutero development. You are being the responsible ones!

Just wanted to add this:
(Print this out for your friends: )

Fetal Ultrasound Linked to Brain Damage - GCN-NEWS@11:11 am PST <>

According to news today from the National Post Online, researchers have uncovered more evidence suggesting that ultrasound scans on pregnant women may lead to brain damage in their unborn babies.
According to the article, the study is the most comprehensive done yet on the effects of ultrasound scanning. The research team found that men born to mothers who received ultrasound scans while pregnant were more likely to show signs of subtle brain damage....
[Edited due to copyright violation. If you have a link to provide readers please do so. Please review our Copyright Concerns in the Rules and Guidelines board. ~Cynthia
post #9 of 28
I didn't have an U/S with my dd as there did not seem to be any reason to, and I'm happy to report that she came out just right. This time I don't have any intention of getting one unless my midwife thinks that there is a medical reason to get it done. I've been lucky that all my freinds and family think that my decision is a wise one.

post #10 of 28
my answer was always " I am not having any unnecessary medical tests" or " if it is needed, then I guess I will have one"
post #11 of 28
people thought i was wacky too. i just said the dr only does them if there's a true medical reason for it. they liked the sound of that but honestly i went to midwives and was given the option which i declined.
post #12 of 28
With #1 I had an u/s (didnt know what I know now) but chose not to find out the sex. People thought I was crazy.

With #2 I didnt have an ultrasound, people still thought I was crazy. If they find a problem on the u/s can they even do anything about it? Why put yourself thru unnesc. worry and your baby thru possible harm just to find out the sex of the baby, sheesh!
(Although, I admit it was exciting to see the profile and the little arms, legs , kidneys etc. but it did seem kind of like I shouldnt be seeing it, sorta like tempting fate or something KWIM.)
post #13 of 28

Re: for mom's not having an u/s do people think your nuts?

Originally posted by greenluv
People have started asking if we know the sex of the baby.
"we know, but we are not telling"
"it's a little early to assign gender roles on the child isn't it?"
"its both"
"its neither"
"its a boy " ( like are they gonna follow up with you?)
or my all time favorite
"what do you mean? I'm not pregnant..."
Smart ass answers guaranteed to please
post #14 of 28
I always got' oh, how nice' or 'thats the way it should be' when I told people we didnt know and dont wanna know what the sex of the baby was...ultrasound never really came up...

a few parents would say 'oh, well, we HAD to know' but that was only a minority....

:sinister :sinister :sinister :sinister
post #15 of 28
I just say, "no, we are waiting until birth to find out the sex." If they want to think that we had u/s, power to them.

I don't have the energy to go around preaching about why I don't think it is a good idea. One of my co-workers kept hounding me about it. So, after that, I just kept my birth choices to myself!

post #16 of 28
My standard answer for boy or girl is we want to be surprised, that has seemed to sufice most people. They do mention it would be easier with gifts and I would have to say I agree as far as clothing goes, but oh well.

Oh a nurse asked us at our last appointment and my DH said a baby! She just laughed and I told her we didn't want to know. I just loved his answer.

post #17 of 28
I love how people know I'm doing a homebirth, and that I'm seeing a midwife. They ask about the u/s and I tell them I'm not having one.

The funny thing is, they don't know why, and it's not until I explain that my midwife does not have an u/s machine in her home.

How weird is that? Like, 5 people have assumed, apparently, that my homebirth midwife has an u/s on her person. Funny.

And I always say when queried about the baby's sex: 'there are few suprises that are happy either way.'
post #18 of 28
I always say that ACOG does not recommend U/S unless it is medically indicated.
post #19 of 28
Sorry if I'm derailing this thread a little ...

For those of you who've decided not to have ultrasound, do you avoid doppler, too? I'm trying to make up my mind about which things to have done - I haven't even picked a caregiver yet (just found out a few weeks ago that we're expecting!). Anyway, I can see not having u/s unless there's some medical indication for it. It would be fun to hear the heartbeat early, but I can be patient if the same risks apply.
post #20 of 28
I am due with baby #3 end of May. First pregnancy (before I was educated) I had two ultrasounds. Told them I did NOT want to find out the sex and we did not. Second pregnancy, chose no ultrasound. This pregnancy - same - no ultrasound.

I agree with what others have said - fun to be surprised at the birth (with gender), nothing to be done if you find a problem (most times) but stressing you out, and they can be wrong - with gender, due date, or health problems. I have always known my due date - don't insult me by telling me you know better than me when I had unprotected sex with my husband!

I would agree to one if I was measuring way off or there was some indication that we needed to look. The benefit would have to outweigh the risk and so far it has not.

I actually love it when the topic of me not having an ultrasound comes up! It is fun to be a little out of the mainstream and have a chance to educate people. I don't get preachy but I think if you at least mention it (don't even have to go into why if you don't think it appropriate) it gives that person something to think about and maybe they will ask questions or be supportive if they or someone they know is considering it.

I have had one person think that you HAD to have an ultrasound - that you couldn't decline it. I think it is very scary that some people think there is ANYTHING that you can't decline. Everything is declinable!

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