3 Year Old Keeps Slapping Her Baby Brother!

[augustmom]

DD keeps slapping her 8 week brother! I don't know what to do. She's had to sit in time-out--not working I guess. I'm at my wits end.

Any advice. BTW, WE DON"T HIT AROUND HERE, so she's not modeling anything after us. Help!

[croleRN]

Well, DD is (so far) an only child. However, she used to do this to my goddaughter. I never really figured out why, she wasn't able to verbalize why. What we did - immediately remove the situation (DD or GD); explain hitting is not acceptable for anyone; depending on her mood - I'd try to talk to her about why (never really got much out) or allow her to sit still (my lap or time-out chair) while we "think about why you hit her."
I noticed, that often she would want to "play" and GD (obviously too small) - she seemed to get frustrated. She aslo really seemed to like to learn how to get "other" responses from baby. (ie, sing a song to make her smile, snuggle with baby & talk to her for attention, etc.)
Just to know - that your child isn't the only one....and it didn't last.

[Joannarachel]

My son is younger, but did try to slap baby sister for a few weeks. We just kept repeating, "Not nice! Be nice to sister! Gentle touches!" and we'd help him to stroke her hair.

(Now when we say, "Show us how to be nice to baby sister", he runs and pats her head )

I don't know if that would work though where your dd is so much older...

[chfriend]

So 8 weeks ago the little runt stole her parents, then when she hits him she gets isolated. I'm guessing the time outs are backfiring on you.

When she hits him, my advice is to see it for the expression of pain that it is, pull her into your lap, hug her and kiss her and say, "It's hard becoming a sister isn't it? You can love him and not love him all at the same time, huh? I love you as much as I always have." Ask her to help you do things like, "Honey, I think he needs his diaper changed. Do you think so? Could you run grab me a clean dipe?"

My kids really need to feel included, so that kind of reaction gets me farther.

[augustmom]

Originally Posted by chfriend

So 8 weeks ago the little runt stole her parents, then when she hits him she gets isolated. I'm guessing the time outs are backfiring on you.

When she hits him, my advice is to see it for the expression of pain that it is, pull her into your lap, hug her and kiss her and say, "It's hard becoming a sister isn't it? You can love him and not love him all at the same time, huh? I love you as much as I always have." Ask her to help you do things like, "Honey, I think he needs his diaper changed. Do you think so? Could you run grab me a clean dipe?"

My kids really need to feel included, so that kind of reaction gets me farther.

this is great advice. I was just thinking about trying something like this. I feel so bad and I'm sort of heartbroken for her--she needs to know that she's still the center of our world, she just needs to make a little wiggle room for her baby brother. Thanks for the advice everyone.

B

[ma_Donna]

Last night my 2y10mo hit his 2 week old baby brother for the first time.

He's been nursing a LOT and after dinner last night I was not entertaining his requests (starting to get sore from HIM, not the newborn) and DH was being pretty short with him and responding sternly to every mis-step of the poor little guy. He acted out on the little one.

I'm working more on DH's behavior

[annarosa]

is this happening at certain times of day or when you or he are doing certain things - when he is tired, frustrated, jealous, fed-up ??
I think it's pretty normal to be jealous of a new sibling and all kinds of behaviours can appear because of it - just an expression of feeling pushed aside and that the baby is getting all of the attention that he used to get ....
try special time with just him if you can without the baby - maybe just once a week take him to the store with you or for a walk or to the park on his own

when he is slapping then I would definitely pick up the baby or put the baby in a safe place where this cannot happen - rather than giving ds a time- out
- and instead distract ds with a game, a song or something else that you know he likes such as a special snack - let him know that the slapping is not OK but just make it matter of fact, not a telling off...