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So I have some major decisions to make...

post #1 of 37
Thread Starter 
I got an email last night from an RN. The OB's all had a "meeting" and no one will allow me to go into labor. There is one Dr. a few hours away that would more than likely allow me, however, money is very, very, very tight and I don't even know if I could afford the gas to keep up with appointments. I so wish I had the money for a homebirth. : I know I could always show in at the hospital in labor and refuse a c-section, however, I can't afford a doula and I'm afraid I won't have the guts to stand up for myself once they threaten me with a dead baby.
Right now I feel like my only choices are, 1. Go with a c-section, and ask my OB to please allow it to be as "natural" as possible. 2. Make an appointment with the OB 2 hours away and risk our finances. (Rent, bills, food, ect.. ) :
post #2 of 37
oh you poor mama...i have no experience in vbac or anything like that...but it is terrible what they are trying to force you into
post #3 of 37
i don't have any advice but just wanted to give you a hug..
post #4 of 37
Have you considered an Unassisted homebirth? It might be worth a look.

Edit: If UC isn't for you then I'd suggest talking with some midwives in your area I know there are many midwives who will work pro-bono in extenuating circumstances...It's definetley worth a try.
post #5 of 37
Originally Posted by Lovinmy2babies+1
The OB's all had a "meeting" and no one will allow me to go into labor.
WOW! Can you say 'god complex'. No one will 'allow' you to go into labor?... Not damn likely they can stop you if that baby wants to be born.

I soooo get that you feel stuck! I am so thankful that for my last pg. I had a very well-respected OB who was quite pro-VBAC. And for this one, I have the benefit of 2 experienced midwives.

I just don't know what I'd do in that position. I'd probably first see if there were any midwives willing to work with me -- even 'under the radar' depending on the laws of your state. Then I'd probably do all the research I needed to about UC...I'm no martyr, nor should my child be, so I'd back down if my child were truly in danger...but that aside, I can't imagine how hard it would be to validate their arrogance and stupidity by acquiescing to their demands.

Whatever you choose, hugs and prayers to you!
post #6 of 37
First, you can get free doulas. I have one and she is wonderful. Ask on freecycle and on here in your tribal area. I would just say that you are in a massive need of a doula's services, but cannot afford to pay. You might be able to barter services even.

Secondly, they cannot "allow" you to do anything. AT ALL. This is YOUR body, YOUR birth. Take control.
post #7 of 37
Oh, I am really feeling for you. Have you spoken directly with your OB yet? Are they just against VBAC or is this the insurance company speaking? Why not at the very least a VBAC under the condition of an epidural if they are so worried about the risk of UR? (Full disclosure - I must add here that I really do not want a epidural myself and have to talk with my own OB on this). Have you shown them recent news articles saying the VBA2C is not any "riskier" than a VBAC?

Hugs, mama.
post #8 of 37
A free doula site: www.bellywomen.net

I'm so sorry this is pressing such an issue - I'd be so frustrated!

Can/do you qualify for state insurance? I don't know where you live but most states cover MWs if they are legal (so you could have your homebirth). Maybe look into that if you can?
post #9 of 37
I'm so sorry that you are in this seemingly position.

I'm a little crazy and would possibly consider dipping into the budget for birth. A healthy birth for you and baby IS a necessity IMO. Avoiding unnecessary surgery that may cost even more money in the long run would be close top of my priority list. I understand not everyone is like me though and completely respect that.

How about laboring at home for a loooooongggg time and then laboring in the hospital parking lot until you're close to pushing?? There might not be time for you to refuse a c/s because the baby's delivery is imminent.

Please do take other's suggestions in trying to find a doula. If you can't find one, any woman friend that you think is up to the task can do.

As someone else pointed out, there is always unassisted.

Have you talked to midwives in your area? Perhaps someone could do a payment plan, bartering services or something with you and your family? There are many midwives out there with big hearts that hate to see us VBAC moms in these positions and who are truly willing to help.

Big hugs, I'm sure something will work out.
post #10 of 37
I am so sorry you are going through this. Boy I agree with the others, that is pretty interesting saying they will not allow you to go into labor. I just wanted to reiterate what the others said.
I would start looking for a doula that can do this for free or very little for you. Some need births under their belts, for certification or just want to help someone in need. Are you able to get a 0% credit card? I know it is not ideal but that way you can either use it for a homebirth or for the other midwives, gas, etc to get the birth you want and deserve.

Good luck!!
post #11 of 37
I could cry reading your situation. others have already given most of the advice I would offer (Look for a midwife who will barter/sliding scale, free doula, labor in hosp. parking lot and go in when you are ready to push) also this one is kinda out there..can you continue care wuth your provider for now (assuming they are affordable to you) and bail out at the last minute showing up (prearranged) at the further away hospital,but not making all the prenatal trips or .. at "The Farm" in tennessee?
Hugs to you
post #12 of 37
Have you tried talking to midwives in your area? Might there be one willing to barter or spread payments WAY out for you?

good luck!

post #13 of 37
What state do you live in? There has to be another option..

I agree with a pp- they must have a God-complex to "allow or not allow" you to go into labor!:
post #14 of 37
Also, what the heck is up with the e-mail? That's pretty non-confrontational! :
post #15 of 37
Oh, Lisa, I am so sad to hear this! I second what everyone else has said. My midwife let me work out whatever kind of payments I could. I'm paying her only on 5 paycheck months (sending her the 5th) and I'm going to pay her off with tax returns.

I really hope something works out for you!
post #16 of 37
Hmmm......is there anything preventing you from going to your appointments with these jerks (much as it pains me to think of them getting your insurance dollars!) and then going elsewhere to have the baby? One of the very few good decisions I made when DD was born (which ultimately, unfortunately, did end in a c/s) was NOT to go in to the hospital even when the contractions were 2 minutes apart because the biggest jerk in the group was on-call. My doula was the one who suggested getting some sleep first, reminding me that first labors take hours and I'd be more comfortable at home, but even without a doula if you have someone supportive to remind you of this it can be a big help. They really won't know when you go into labor unless you tell them.

However, I think the other issue (and I apologize if I missed this but skimming the previous posts I didn't see this brought up) is that they will probably ensure that you aren't "allowed" to go into labor by scheduling a CS for you at 39 weeks or something. You do not have to show up for this. If you're worried about them billing you or something, once you find out that they've scheduled this, simply call the hospital and tell them that something came up-- I dunno, a funeral or something, it's really none of their business-- and that you'll have to get back to them to reschedule after consulting with your dh or whomever. Then just don't call back and don't return their calls.
post #17 of 37
maybe you can find a doula in training that will be your support for free. Or talk to a local midwife about expenses and work out a reduced price or a barter. Have your dh mow her lawn, build her a deck, etc. You could sew, cook, babysit, garden, etc for her. Whatever your skills are. Keep trying to get the birth you both deserve.
post #18 of 37
how many hospitals do you have in your area? i would pick another hosptial and either try to find a good ob there or just show up in labor like a regular pregnant lady. you can try to do a payment plan with a midwife for a homebirth or she could act as a monitrice for you doula/midwife and tell you when to go to the hosptial. but the most important thing for you to do is not give these sOB's what they want. they think they can call you and say you cant have a vbac and you'll be the obedient child and get cut. prove them wrong. say fine i wont deliver with you and send them a photo of your vbac baby crowning
post #19 of 37
UGH. I'm so sorry.

What are their reasons for "not allowing you to go into labor". God, the arrogance
post #20 of 37
Thread Starter 
I emailed back and asked if they were aware of the ACOG guidelines and the newest studies. Her response was that if I needed surgery, no other OB's would back up an OB that allowed me to labor. So in other words, if they let me labor and I had a UR, no other OB would assist them in helping with surgery...
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