Ds, 2, not listening, sigh

[Strong Mama]

DS, 2,is a delightful child and very adventurous. Any ideas on me teaching him to listen to *dont go outside without momma or dadda?* He opens the door and helps himself to outside when he wants. No, i cannot lock it as this is not my house(we are staying with relatives) and no, the stairgate wont fit as this is an open plan house with no place for that. I usually just run after him and say, dont go out without mama or dada, but then, he does it anyway. I dont do time outs, naughty chairs or anything of the sort. I just am afraid he will get hurt out there as there is 6 acres of open land/bushes/tractors/barns, etc.TIA

[WuWei]

Originally Posted by FEDUP

DS, 2,is a delightful child and very adventurous. Any ideas on me teaching him to listen to *dont go outside without momma or dadda?* He opens the door and helps himself to outside when he wants. No, i cannot lock it as this is not my house(we are staying with relatives) and no, the stairgate wont fit as this is an open plan house with no place for that. I usually just run after him and say, dont go out without mama or dada, but then, he does it anyway. I dont do time outs, naughty chairs or anything of the sort. I just am afraid he will get hurt out there as there is 6 acres of open land/bushes/tractors/barns, etc.TIA

I have had more luck with saying 'Let me know if you want to go out so I know that you are outside and can help you if you need me." Then I work to make it happen when he wants to go. Creating interesting activities at which he would stop and become engaged helps too. Ds won't go past a hose that he can turn on. A garden hose will keep any boy occupied for nearly 30 minutes. Or we have the rocky horse in the garage, or the little water table with all sorts of fun stuff, or the bouncy ball thingy if he makes it to the yard, that he loves to hop on. I have no concern that he is going to 'get lost' or some other adventure on our 2 acres. He'll stop at the first exciting activity. We also placed one of those old 'farm bells' out on the porch, it is irresistable. So, I asked ds to ring it when he comes outside. He LOVES to comply. I also told him to ring the door bell if he goes out and can't open the door. He loves to ring it too. So, pretty much ds "alarms" us if he forgets to tell us that he wants to go out.

You could put on one of those little hinge locks up high that people fold over to keep the door closed if there is real danger. But, I found if I think like the child, I can create activities to slow his progress away from the house or away from the road. This creates a win-win.

HTH, Pat

[Strong Mama]

We also placed one of those old 'farm bells' out on the porch, it is irresistable. So, I asked ds to ring it when he comes outside. He LOVES to comply. I also told him to ring the door bell if he goes out and can't open the door. He loves to ring it too. So, pretty much ds "alarms" us if he forgets to tell us that he wants to go out.

PERFECT ideas!! Thanks!
WE have one of those old farm bells too! I am going to use this approach and it will at least alarm me to when he goes outside. He usually stops under the carport where all the cool stuff is, but if his papa is out on the tractor 4 fields away, he runs there! Thats where I worry! lol

[WuWei]

Originally Posted by FEDUP

PERFECT ideas!! Thanks!
WE have one of those old farm bells too! I am going to use this approach and it will at least alarm me to when he goes outside. He usually stops under the carport where all the cool stuff is, but if his papa is out on the tractor 4 fields away, he runs there! Thats where I worry! lol

Create a place where he can watch papa on the tractor safely. Make it "his watching papa spot". Maybe an old cinder block or some kind of platform, so that he can see papa on the tractor. Perhaps hang a whistle out there or in a special 'whistle keeper' box. Have him practice calling papa with the whistle: three long whistles. Or make a flag that stays there that he waves at papa from the 'watching spot'. Invite him to notify everyone of his whereabouts, make it fun to do and create places to do what he wants to do safely. Or take him out to the field for a picnic when papa goes to the field. Join him in his joyful adventures.

HTH, Pat

[oceanbaby]

I think he's just too young to count on him understanding that. You can try the positive of it "come get me or daddy if you want to go outside." I think that would be more successful.

[mama2myangelWill]

I'm going to have to go with oceanbaby on this one.......my 2 1/2 yr old isn't mature enough to understand that she needs to contact me when she wants to do something. What about the door knob covers that prevent little ones from opening the door, but allowing adults to still open? Possibly a bell INSIDE that triggers when the door is opened to alert you when he goes out instead of relying on him to remember to do something. We have such high expectations of our bright children, but we must also remember their true abilities at each age.