Someone dissed my anticircing signature

[Anglyn]

So, my email signature says: "Circumcision Hurts Boys. Do You Know the facts?" and has about eight links. Another parent from the PTO (we've all been emailing back and forth) emailed me this today:

"What's the circumcision info. for? I know we are a little unhappy with things but that's a little much....lol.. I know it was probably a mistake but oh the irony!!"

First I took a deep breath and realized that I didnt really want to be confrontational too much because thats a guarantee to get someone not to listen to your pov. So I emailed back with:

"Well the information is just in my signature because its something I feel strongly about. It was in no way intended to offend anyone or to rebuke anyone for any choices they may have made in the past. My oldest is circumcised. I wish someone had overstepped their bounds and told me. The information is simply to inform those who might find themselves in the future either making the decision or giving advice to someone else who is, so that they can make an informed decision. Again, If it offend you, I apologize, that was not the intention."

Which I think reflects way more calm, understanding adn reasonableness than I actually felt, lol! Ive decide that you cant enlighten people, they will hate you for it.

Ok,maybe it was too much, so I chose my favorite link, left just that one and under it put: "It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it." Upton Sinclair (which I totally stole from someones signature here on tis board.) thinking maybe just the one link and cryptic quote will get people to click on the link out of curiosity.

What would you guys have emailed back? I mean, is it just me or was the remark about "I know we are a little unhappy with things" very condescending?

[Lula's Mom]

I think you were very reasonable and diplomatic in your reply. And I am about the comments- who's "we"? What things are "we" unhappy with? And "I know it was probably a mistake but oh the irony!!" I don't understand what s/he means. I must be dense.

I've tried to figure out how to put intactivist links in my email signature but I can't seem to do it in gmail. It's a good way to send it out to the whole wide world!

[tayndrewsmama]

Originally Posted by Anglyn

Ok,maybe it was too much, so I chose my favorite link, left just that one and under it put: "It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it." Upton Sinclair (which I totally stole from someones signature here on tis board.) thinking maybe just the one link and cryptic quote will get people to click on the link out of curiosity.

I think you did good! I wouldn't have removed it, but since you did steal that new siggy from me, I'll let it slide. Actually, I think that is a much better way to do it. That way people aren't clicking on it with their defenses up right away.

[Nathan1097]

Years ago when I started my site (circumcisionquotes.com, but then at geocities) I had a front page for all my sites. Then, my circ one- very short at the time!!- and also one with pictures of Nathan. (About 10 months old at the time).

I sent out the link to my family so they could keep up with photos of Nathan. My aunt wrote back furious at me that she "didn't need to see that!!" and whatever else. First of all, all she saw was the WORD "circumcision" ONCE. And nothing negative about it- just the title to my site. If she clicked the link and then was offended by the little bit of info that was there at the time, that's her problem. I figure she felt guilty- but that's no reason to freak out on me about it!

[paminmi]

My email siggie (which is in fun bright blue and red letters, but the font won't show up here):


Just say NO to infant male circumcision!

Find out why at: http://www.nocirc.org


I do a lot of Ebay'ing and thought it was a good way to get the message out. I had one woman who emailed me about the item she won and added, "and don't worry, I left my baby intact. There was no way I could do that to him..." That made my day!

If anyone uses Mozilla Thunderbird for email and would like help with making a permanent siggie line, drop me a PM.

By the way, if you are emailing someone and you don't want the siggie line included you can delete it prior to sending.

[baybee]

If you're an intactivist and you're not in trouble all the time, you're probably not getting much done.
Baybee

[Lula's Mom]

baybee

Ya know, I HATE being in trouble. I do not enjoy conflict, in real life or here. A cyberfight can make me sick to my stomach! But circumcision is the one thing I am so sure about that I will talk about it to anyone and not feel like I'm doing something wrong. I have no problem standing up for this issue.

[bri276]

it's not the same topic but similar feeling-

years ago my friend passed along one of those chain emails to me. the content was very offensive regarding Muslims, containing outright lies and was total right-wing propoganda. I complied an email rebuking the prejudiced crap, with links and info. She responded with a rude "looks like someone has too much time on their hands" and clearly didn't even bother to read the info. I didn't talk to her for months. It really upset me. I think the internet is more conducive to getting people to speak their minds so it's no surprise it can be a source of conflict. Just know that you are RIGHT, so if that person chooses to be condescending to you it's not your fault, and like any other rudeness it should be ignored, unless that person is open to further calm and rational discussion.

[drnmd1216]

I'm sorry!! I think you handled it very well though.

During a circumcision debate on a mainstream board, I was told this in regards to my "Babies are born perfect...question circumcision" blinkie:

"and personally, and this is not a personal attack, just an observation...I think it's a bit weird to have "I didn't circ my son" blinkies in sigs...I mean, do you think your son would love the fact that you tell every single person who reads every single post what his penis looks like? Do you tell strangers on the street too? Reminds me of Meet The Fockers when she shows everyone his foreskin!!"

I responded back by telling them that I was proud I had done my research and made the choice to leave him as he was born. I also told her that I wanted people to see the pics of my adorable son and see my sig that he is intact...and maybe think "hmmmmm, I wonder why she would choose that" and do more research. Oh, and I lastly let her know that we are a whole family of weirdos, bc both my dh and I talk about our son being intact to IRL people as well (not that I say "Hi, my name is Melissa and my son is intact" or anything like that ) but the subject has come up SOOO many times surprisingly. I think in the future that my son will be proud of me and his father for trying to make a difference in educating others on such a barbaric ritual. Its a shame if my desire to educate others results in some moms who circumcized their sons actually having to rethink their decision for a second though...poor them *shaking head*.

[Robin926]

I belong to an online diary site (where I often post in a children and parenting groups), and at the bottom of all my entries I have a birthday ticker for my DS and underneath in red letters: Do you know the facts about circumcision? The underlined words are links to the Fleiss article and a page with a link to a video of a circ, respectively. Thankfully no one's attacked me for it yet!

OP, I think you handled the situation very well. The person's email to you was a bit of a headscratcher though! The more people see just the mention of circ and why it might be a bad idea, the more people will look into it!

[Jaydens_mom]

Sometimes with sigs (and i have accidentally done this before ) people don't REALIZE its a sig and take it as an insult, or a personal thing.
When sigs aren't divided from the email or the post people can often mistake them for being part of the post or email and as being directed at them and if it applies to them in anyway, they may get offended.

[Ivan's Mom]

Originally Posted by baybee

If you're an intactivist and you're not in trouble all the time, you're probably not getting much done.
Baybee

I Love the way you think Baybee.

[Past_VNE]

Originally Posted by Jaydens_mom

Sometimes with sigs (and i have accidentally done this before ) people don't REALIZE its a sig and take it as an insult, or a personal thing.
When sigs aren't divided from the email or the post people can often mistake them for being part of the post or email and as being directed at them and if it applies to them in anyway, they may get offended.

That was the impression I got from what the woman wrote. She seemed to think it was directed straight at her, not just a 'generic' siggie that went to everyone.