In a fit of frustration (your own and theirs) overtiredness, hunger induced frustration, crying infant falling out of your arms, two preschoolers on the edge of meltdown, who won't leave the park and load into the car, you say, "fine, mommy's going then". Not, "I'm leaving without you" but "see me? I'm packing up the car and I am hungry and tired and I'm going home"? Usually my kids don't give a hoot. Very secure kids who would be like, "ok mom, see you later!" 
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Inevitably, I end up just hauling their biscuits off the playground and putting screaming, flailing kids into the car for a miserable but blessedly short ride home.
Yes, I know ALL of the circumstances that lead to this could have been avoided with proper planning but sometimes you can't plan for everything and I've been caught with my drawers down unprepared to fight the pending meltdowns many times.
So, you mess up. I usually will get home, get everyone settled, diaper changes, baby feeding, lunches, hand and face washings, potty and then finally sit on the couch before nap. I will usually apologize to them because I know their meltdowns were MY fault. I put them in a situation they couldn't possibly be expected to handle and I'm sorry for that.
Am I the world's worst mom because I say the wrong thing? I'm not always at my best and it would seem that when I'm at my worst, so are they.
I'm sitting here thinking that a parent who spanks or beats could use the same "excuse" so now I feel like an ass. Abusers never MEAN to hurt the ones they love right?
Dang, this parenting thing is hard.
:Inevitably, I end up just hauling their biscuits off the playground and putting screaming, flailing kids into the car for a miserable but blessedly short ride home.
Yes, I know ALL of the circumstances that lead to this could have been avoided with proper planning but sometimes you can't plan for everything and I've been caught with my drawers down unprepared to fight the pending meltdowns many times.
So, you mess up. I usually will get home, get everyone settled, diaper changes, baby feeding, lunches, hand and face washings, potty and then finally sit on the couch before nap. I will usually apologize to them because I know their meltdowns were MY fault. I put them in a situation they couldn't possibly be expected to handle and I'm sorry for that.
Am I the world's worst mom because I say the wrong thing? I'm not always at my best and it would seem that when I'm at my worst, so are they.
I'm sitting here thinking that a parent who spanks or beats could use the same "excuse" so now I feel like an ass. Abusers never MEAN to hurt the ones they love right?
Dang, this parenting thing is hard.
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I think if your dc have a solid foundation (and it sounds like they do), they'll come out of that situation no worse for the wear. They'll also know that everyone makes mistakes, and you just gotta try to make it better.
Forgive yourself, just as you forgive your children for melting down.
) that if I do that, when I finally do take action I am almost certain to scream and yell and also to feel absolutely no empathy for the person I'm mad at. I feel like I've been so "good" by holding it in all this time that now I can't be expected to handle it well because it's just too much too much more than anyone can bear, and that's so obvious to me that I just can't see anyone else's point of view, nor can I be bothered to care because it's about time someone listened to ME for a change!!! 
So the trick is to avoid getting to that point by taking a positive action much earlier. For me that can be difficult because speaking up early feels wrong, like I'm "always complaining" or "making a big deal out of nothing" or other criticisms that tend to crop up inside my head...but really it's much better for everyone if I do something gentle while I still can.
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to move forward to the next step.
